14/05/2024
My 3 sisters, Christine, Jane, Kath and myself helped move our 91 year old mum into higher care in March. She 1/2 wanted to do it at the time and an opportunity to go in on respite came quicker than any of us were really ready for. Mum was struggling to do housework, feed herself, though Jane cooked her meals and was constantly very sore in the mornings, taking quite a long time to get herself moving in a reasonable fashion. Kath and I arranged Brotherhood Of St Lawrence to help mum 3 times a week but it was all becoming a bit too much.
So, with the help of the wonderful nurses, we got mum into The Lodge, which is a full care, locked facility with nurses and carers all over the place, 3 meals per day, help with medication, which we suspected was all awry under mum’s own management. Well mum hated it and rang us all constantly, wanting to go home and complaining incessantly. The Lodge hated her just as much, it’s fair to say, she was whining about anything and everything so they just wanted her ‘gone’! I found this very stressful, as we all did, it came with frustration and big doses of guilt and we didn’t really know what to do, or what was the right thing to do.
Well, the complaining phone calls eased and then stopped completely. I don’t know about the girls but I was holding my breath, as I didn’t think the calm would last. 3 of us siblings live interstate from mum and poor Jane lives around the corner from her so shoulders the Lion’s Share of the work involved in looking after an ageing mother. Well, I just went down last weekend, from Sydney to Melbourne, for Mother’s Day and I could not believe the transformation. Mum could not stop raving about her new ‘home’, the carers there are the best, food is fantastic, lovely views and ‘everything is done for me’. I asked-mum you used to struggle to get going in the mornings and she replied that she no longer has to do anything so there’s no physical or mental stress pulling her down and she loves it there now. She has arranged permission to go out on her own to walk her familiar village, which is in the same facility, she does exercise and other classes. Many people commented that she looks 10 years younger than when she moved in a short 8 weeks ago and the transformation has been amazing
All power to those who take their ageing parents in to care for them, that is a massive sacrifice and you’ll get extra dessert in heaven but thank heaven that this has worked out really, really well for all of us, especially mum, who has benefited from many aspects of the care and I imagine the socialisation that comes with it.
If you’re in a quandary for what to do with your parents I can attest that a higher care facility is a great option and that’s where I want to go when the time comes. (you may have to remind me that I said this 🤪🤪🤪)
