16/10/2024
And I have a lump in my throat cause I am going to sing the words wrong….I know this isn’t how the song goes, but I know that Death is inevitable. It’s going to happen to us all. All of our Moms are going to die. But if you haven’t experienced it yet…we’ll just hold on. It’s dark, and heavy. You don’t know which way is up, the waves keep coming and just like the ocean - its beautiful. If you are lucky like me.
I am super sad today…one year since you left earth, but as I reflect back on this week a year ago, there is so much beauty and so much to be grateful for. This week last year, I was holding a bedside vigil for my mom. Begging, pleading, praying, singing for her to cross over. I sobbed, I hymned, I pleaded with the Lord to take my mom to the Golden Gates. I stayed. Steadfast. I prayed.
My friends and family lifted me up and supported me. The while. Daily hospital visits, nourishment, wine, laughs.
- You were in a dark space, and you braved to give me support and love.
- Distracted with Ho***rs? Thank you, You went beyond your comfort zone to give me comfort.…(Wine) and helped my through the sea of medical terminology.
- With out you, I would not know my mom as a grandma…You have no idea, what this means.
- Daily…for months, knowing that you came to her bedside, always being supportive.
- I don’t think words are enough, but you are home to me. Like the Mother, but a best friend. You make me feel so safe.
And Pastor Tracy and Mother Rosie. You brought Peace. Finally. I begged.
I know that death is dark. But, if you can see through the shadows, it was beautiful…I felt love and lifted. I can go though the darkness with my girls. My Family. My friends. My tribe. I can do anything. I am strong.
And its ok if I ugly cry, because My husband and my Dad don’t care, and they love me anyways.
And I love you …I know its hard for you too. But thank the Lord for our brothers and other mother .