Bryony Wildblood - Southsea Soul Work

13/06/2022

I started work as a Spiritual Care Chaplain at the Rowans Hospice last week, so this felt like a timely opportunity to reflect on my ministry and what it means to me, as I moved into a new rhythm with it all!

And a reminder that I need some more 'professional headshots' 😂

Minister Spotlight: Bryony Name : Bryony Wildblood Year of ordination/graduation: 2016 Tell us a little bit about yourself: I live in Portsmouth with my husband and two boys. Since becoming an interfaith minister, I have led over 100 funerals, as well as weddings and baby blessings. I

12/05/2022

"Thank you so much for organising us - it would never have happened otherwise!"

It was lovely to receive this hand-printed card from the baby blessing I led last week, including these words of thanks. One of the things the family really appreciated was having someone to organise them - and it made me realise what a valuable part of my role this is.

It's easy to focus on the ceremony itself, but actually a huge part of that is in the guidance, preparation, holding and organising that goes on beforehand.

Perhaps this seems obvious, put like that. But as a parent of young children myself, I'm very aware of how much organisation it takes to simply get out of the door on an ordinary day - let alone arranging a ceremony, celebration and food for folks, generally when you're sleep-deprived!

There are many reasons why naming ceremonies or baby blessings get overlooked, but I feel a big part of this is the planning and organising required - for many families with a new baby, or multiple young children, it can be a daunting task.

Which is why a good celebrant or minister can be so valuable - not just to lead the ceremony, but to guide, prepare, organise and hold you through the process in a gentle and conscious way... my job is to hone your intentions and wishes into something real and tangible.. to weave all the threads together into a beautiful tapestry.

I think family, friends and community also have a role to play in this, and they're often a significant part of why people choose to have a ceremony - but more on that next time!

11/05/2022

Got myself a new running buddy 🤩

06/05/2022

Excited to share my latest news - next month I will be joining the Spiritual Care Team at the Rowans Hospice as their new Assistant Chaplain.

I'm really delighted to be returning to Spiritual Care in a hospice setting, and grateful that flexible working will allow me to continue offering my Ceremonies and Soul Work... and even more deeply grateful that I get to do work that makes my heart sing.

Here's a photo of me looking delighted about a swim at Lulworth Cove last weekend.

04/05/2022

I'm still feeling so full of love after leading a Baby Blessing this weekend.

It was my first Baby Blessing since Lockdown began, and such a gorgeous reminder of how much joy, laughter, connection and love these ceremonies generate... as well as the inevitable mayhem, which seems to grow in direct relation to how many children are involved. But the chaos and unpredictability is part of the magic!

We sang songs together, shared readings from grandparents and promises from godparents, and everybody was invited to share their own words or pictures of blessing by decorating some hand-painted leaves, which we then strung across the room as bunting during the ceremony. Big brother and sister anointed their baby sister's hands, feet and crown with oil as we blessed her future and gave thanks for her life. But by far the best part - at least as far as the children were concerned - was planting the tree, and the opportunity to get our hands dirty.

As a final blessing, all the children threw rose petals into the air over the baby's head - her look of pure wonder and delight was beautiful!

In all the chaos and merriment, I completely failed to take any photos - but here is a photo of Koru as a babe, cradled by the tree fern that inspired his name.

31/03/2022

Covid has finally caught up with us... so we're making marmalade. Life and lemons and all that...

28/03/2022

Mother's Day swim... I'm not sure when something becomes a tradition, but I remember that my first swim after giving birth to Koru was on Mother's Day 2019.
I wore a full winter wetsuit because I was still so sensitive to the cold. It felt like a baptism, a renewal, a prayer... I was 6 months into being a mother.
And 'though I swim all year round, my Mother's Day Swim has the same feel of ritual and prayer... of coming home. Remembering... with thanks to Daddy Bear for the capture.

22/03/2022

Some beautiful feedback from a funeral service I lead a couple of weeks ago.

16/03/2022

People often say that the best way to engage a child is to get down to their level, to play from the floor.

So it felt completely natural to kneel on the floor of the crematorium chapel today, to kneel at the feet of the tiny coffin around which we gathered... speaking our thanks and goodbyes to a soul born too soon.

Little Snowdrop - Anon.

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
For every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you

01/02/2022

Tuesday cheese-day 🤩 hurrah for February, blue skies and winter sun.

30/01/2022

When I walk out into the world, I take no thoughts with me. That’s not easy but you can learn to do it.
An empty mind is hungry, so you look at everything longer, and closer. Don’t hum! When you listen with empty ears, you hear more.
And this is the core of the secret: attention is the beginning of devotion ~ Mary Oliver

26/01/2022

Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.

~ William Martin, 'The Parent's Tao Te Ching'

25/01/2022

Because I do not know
any medicine for grief
but to let ourselves
grieve.

Because I do not know
any cure for sorrow
but to let ourselves
sorrow.

Because I do not know
any remedy
but to let the heart break,
to let it fall open,
then to let it fall open
still more.

Because I do not know
how to mend
the unmendable,
unfixable,
unhealable wound
that keeps finding
itself healed
as we tend it,
as we follow
the line of it,
as we let it lead us
on the path
it knows.

Because I do not know
any solace
but to give ourselves
into the love
that will never cease
to find us,
that will never loose
its hold on us,
that will never abandon us
to the sorrow
for which it holds
the cure.

~ from 'The Cure for Sorrow' by Jan Richardson, for the days when we do not know... remembering it's OK not to know.

16/01/2022

Lovely words to close my week with... it always means so much to receive a message like this.

14/01/2022

I am relishing all this winter sun and couldn't resist the call of the sea this morning... nothing like an icy dip at sunrise to clear my head, ready for a day of writing funerals.

12/01/2022

Today I am grateful for:
☀️ The glorious sunshine
☀️ Having a flexible job which means I can arrange to visit my clients by bike, and enjoy a sunny 30km ride in the process
☀️ Spontaneous swims in the sea

21/12/2021

A quick reminder that the Christmas Candlelit Service is live on Facebook at 7pm tonight, from Ruby Funerals' page...

A quick reminder of the candlelight memorial service we're holding tomorrow, December 21st at 7pm. This will be live, here on Facebook, and if you would like the name of a loved one to be read out at the service and a candle lit in their memory, please leave details on this post or the pinned post at the top of the page ⭐️

18/12/2021

People often say to me, "I don't know how you do what you do..." Some days, I don't know either.
Yesterday's funeral was immensely difficult and heart-breaking, and I made it as far as my car before my own grief overwhelmed me. This single red rose, a token from the family, was my undoing, and I needed that. My car has held me through many times like this, a strange container for my heartache.
And so I am grateful for my capacity to grieve, for my willingness feel all the feelings, to let my heart keep breaking open. One thing I do know is that I couldn't do this work without it.

14/12/2021

The wonderful team at Ruby Funerals have invited me to lead their Candlelight Memorial Service next Tuesday - an opportunity to light a candle and remember a loved one, at what can be a difficult time of year for so many people.

The service will be streamed live on Facebook, and is open to everyone - whether or not you were a client of Ruby Funerals. If you wish to have a name read out and a candle lit - please follow the link below and add a name to the comments.

If you would like the name of a loved one to be read out at the service and a candle lit in their memory, please leave details on this post.
Much Love
Katy & Mich
X

10/12/2021

Horse-drawn hearses are like buses... you don't see one for months, then two come along at once!

I try not to do multiple funerals in a day, so that I can give my full attention to every family, but both ceremonies today were direct requests. Which in itself is an honour.

01/12/2021

I arrived home yesterday feeling pretty exhausted and emotional, after supporting 3 different families through funerals and arrangements. I love what I do, but sometimes it demands a lot.

So it's all the more touching to receive such a lovely testimonial from one of the families I supported, and a reminder to keep letting this work break me open.

28/11/2021

When you're quietly stalking Gruffalo and you find a Cross in the woods on the first day of Advent...

26/11/2021

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”

From 'When I am Among the Trees' by Mary Oliver.

24/11/2021

As a lifelong mushroom-hater, I feel strangely drawn to the idea of Mycelium having the last laugh. We got her in the end. I love this idea for burial - what would you choose? 🍄

Dutch biodesigner Bob Hendrikx has designed a coffin made of mushroom—a "living cocoon" that will turn corpses into super compost.

23/11/2021

Call the (Soul) Midwife... I always love taking the ferry across to Gosport and visiting families by bike to make funeral arrangements, even more so when the sun is shining. Perhaps it's the added sense of adventure. I like to imagine I'm in an episode of .

There's also something special about arriving by bike... I can't put my finger on it, but the people I meet are always more relaxed and at ease, and we connect more deeply. Maybe there's just something more human or personal about arriving under your own steam.

22/11/2021

When your toddler decides to photo-bomb your artistic autumnal composition 🍁🍂

20/11/2021

Chasing rainbows We Shine lights festival.

15/11/2021

I don't often get asked to lead funeral services for those who've served in the armed forces as they tend to opt for a more "traditional" approach, but it was very moving to lead a service on Armistice Day last week for a gentleman who'd served in the Navy for over 40 years. The choice of date was no mistake, as it had always held significance for him, and it was particularly poignant to have a Royal Naval Bugler playing the Last Post for the committal.

Earlier that day, as we gathered outside following another funeral service, we heard the cannons go off at the Dockyards to mark the two-minutes silence at 11am. It was touching to hear the post-funeral hubbub of chatter and reminiscence drop into a profound silence.

When I got home, we played Koru the Last Post and as soon as he heard the bugle he exclaimed, "when the soldiers were fighting, there were bonfires and guns, and then there were white things in the sky, and then the soldiers died, and do you know?" - pausing with awe in his voice (as well as dramatic effect - he loves a good story) - "poppies started to grow up all around them, red poppies were growing everywhere!" From the mouth of babes.

14/10/2021

Overheard at today's funeral: "I don't know what religion that celebrant was, but I'm converted! I want my funeral to be like that when I go."

The best kind of compliment 🥰 I've never been one to put myself in a box (excuse the pun) so it's always touching to know that my work resonates with people.

03/10/2021

42. The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. A strangely auspicious number for someone who spends her life trying to find words to wrap around this great mystery of life and death!

As the healthiest member of our household at this point in time, it fell to me to take Geoff's place in the RNLI 10k run today. My first proper 10K, I was very chuffed to come in under the hour at 58 mins. And more importantly, I enjoyed myself (and got a shiny medal)!

Just 2 weeks to the ... bring it on!

#42

12/09/2021

Run, swim, SUP.

Breath, body, beach.

That's my kind of Sunday Worship.

21/07/2021

Decked out in red for today's funeral service, for a devoted fan! The gentleman was dressed in his team's strip, with pictures of Old Trafford on his coffin and a flower-football tribute... and our moment of quiet reflection was interrupted by "Glory, glory Man Utd" - much to everyone's surprise and amusement. He always was a joker.

Not only that, but he had an honour guard of motorbikes to roar him up to the chapel doors. His family did him proud, and the service was a bittersweet mix of laughter and tears.

20/07/2021

- always good for the soul. How do you nourish your's? Answer with a photo... thanks to for the snap!

09/07/2021

... I had 3 families to visit in Gosport and Lee-on-Solent today, and since it was such a glorious day I decided to take the ferry and commute by bike. It was like an episode of Call the Midwife, minus the uniform and babies... just different cycles of life!

35K and a pint The Bridge Tavern, Old Portsmouth to round it off. I was very grateful for my road tyres, even if the speed did go to my head somewhat!

08/07/2021

I lead a funeral today for a woman who was only married 3 weeks ago. Given the restrictions on numbers for both ceremonies, the guest list was the same for each.

We shared a reading from 'The Velveteen Rabbit' - about what makes us real, and we talked about love... and the courage it takes to keep living and to keep loving in the face of loss.

Reading below, and the image is by my own fair hand.

"What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nanna came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

02/07/2021

Today began with a peaceful burial in the beautiful meadow at Warblington Natural Burial Ground, with skylarks providing all the accompaniment we needed.

It ended with rocking out to Guns 'n' Roses and Queen, an honour guard of cyclists, and a real ale tribute.

2 very different funerals, both full of extraordinary love.

And I got the chance to say hello to the ancient yew that stands outside Warblington Church.

02/07/2021

Yesterday's funeral opened with Unforgettable by Nat King Cole, which always takes me back to the first funeral I properly remember: my Grandma's.

It was over 20 years ago now, but this song always lands me back in that moment.

I remember how lost I felt, how lost we all felt.

I remember how my family wore lilac, because that was her favourite colour.

I remember there was standing room only at the crematorium, and fully appreciating how many people knew and loved my Grandma.

I remember how carefully we choose this song for her, and the tears in my Grandad's eyes whenever he sang it.

I remember how we barely heard the first few bars of music before we were whisked out to make space for the next funeral gathering... how we didn't get to hear this song, but my Great Auntie Kath continued to sing it outside with a beautiful smile, and a glint in her eye as she squeezed my hand.

I remember feeling angry and sad in equal measure. It felt like we were on a conveyor belt.

It was this experience which sparked a fire within in me that things could and should be different.

I'm grateful that I've found ways to be different within an industry that is being dragged reluctantly into the 21st century. There are some amazing people out there trying to do things differently.

And sometimes I have to conform. 20 years on, the crematorium that hosted my Grandma's funeral still runs frustratingly limited time-slots.

Sometimes it's about providing a person-centered service whilst working within limitations that are beyond my control.

I try to find ways to carve out space, time and depth for the families that need it - to always bring my warmth, care and presence to the process.

A large part of this is recognising that holding a family through the funeral process is so much more than those 15, 20 or 30 mins in the crematorium.

It's not always easy, but I am so grateful for what I do. And I think my Grandma would be proud.

29/06/2021

As a funeral celebrant, I get some interesting requests... the latest was if I could make sure my tattoos WERE on show for a funeral service, as they would have pleased the chap who had died.

And - I'm not gonna lie - the fact that I got the call when they asked the FD if they had somebody a little younger and sexier to lead the service, has gone to my head a little! Always good to know which box the Funeral Directors have put you in 😂

25/06/2021

4 funerals and a full moon... it's been a busy week and I'm feeling pretty whacked! Did I mention the 7am bootcamps?! Lovely to enjoy the sunshine this evening with my family (and a cheeky G&T...or two!) 🍸 this work is a constant reminder to be grateful, and to cherish the little things. And the big, of course!

18/06/2021

1000 days of !

I never planned to continue this long, and there were various points along the way when I thought we were done, but here we still are. The feeds are few and far between but I cherish every one, and I'm so grateful for these moments of tenderness and conversation between us. Nompy nomps rule!