Ceremonies by Becky Thomas

22/10/2025

When your adult child dies, your feelings can be complicated by the fact that your child is likely to have had a life that was separate from yours; there may have been aspects of their life in which you weren’t involved and they may have had their own family.

See our resource for guidance when your adult child dies: childbereavementuk.org/when-your-adult-child-dies

13/09/2025

Next Sunday (14 September), there is a service of reflection for those affected by su***de.

This service provides an opportunity for all those affected by su***de to come together in a safe and supportive space to remember those they have lost.

📆 Sunday 14 September
⏰ 14:00 - 15:00

The Celtic Male Ensemble will provide choral music, with a performance by the Singing for Wellbeing group for those bereaved by su***de.

Refreshments will be provided after the service in the Chapter House, where there will be an opportunity to meet with those who offer support services in the community.

This service is a collaboration between Truro Cathedral, Cornwall's Su***de Liaison Service, and all agencies in Cornwall that work towards preventing su***de and offer support to those who are left behind.

🔗 https://buff.ly/rJyngAR

16/08/2025

Much more appropriate wording xx

Talking about su***de can be difficult.

However, learning how to talk about it in a safe and hopeful way has the power of potentially saving lives and avoiding reinforcing stigma that can prevent people from seeking the support they need.

Refrain from using the term ‘committed’. 'Commit' implies su***de is a sin or crime, reinforcing the stigma that it’s a selfish act and personal choice. Su***de has not been a crime in England since 1961.

Instead, let's use phrases such as 'died by su***de' or 'experienced suicidal thoughts'.
Let's keep talking about su***de safely and sensitively, and keep saving young lives. 💜

08/05/2025

This is something I hear and see every single day..... life is only one way! Make the most of it everyone xx

13/04/2025

A letter to the very newly grieving:

First off. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I wanted to offer you tight hugs and insight from someone who has lost someone so special a little less than 4 years ago.

Breathe.

I know it’s hard but try. Inhale until you can’t anymore then slowly let it out.

Right now your brain is acting on cruise control.

Allowing you to do what needs done but also adding confusion that is kind of a layer of protection. At the funeral I remember saying to people that I don’t think it hit me yet. The reality of what just happened.

It didn’t.

It will. This is where the breathing is needed.

Because when it truly hits you will feel like you are out of control of everything in a world that rudely keeps spinning.

You need to be your own best friend. Because the reality is that nobody knows exactly how you are feeling. Not even if they lost the same person. Your relationship was unique to only you.

You will get frustrated with yourself. Because we are our own worst critics. Because you think you should be feeling better. Because people will expect you to feel better EVEN in that first few weeks. This is where that best friend comes in. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your own best friend going through the same thing.

Sometimes isolating is comforting. Because it’s hard to relate with anything in the world right now. And that’s ok. Just leave the door open a crack for your support system to check on you.

You do not owe anyone to speed your way through grief. Sure they want you to feel better because humans don’t like to see someone suffering.
BUT
It’s a process that needs to be felt and expressed. No time limits. Take it at your own pace.

People will say things. And yes it gets exhausting to give grace especially when they haven’t lost a loved one yet. Like when they say they know how we feel because they lost a cat 6 years ago. There will be lots of things they will say. Some sweet. Some very unhelpful. But again they just truly want to help us. But it feels empty when the unfixable can’t be fixed. Sometimes a hug is all we want.

Help is out there if you need it. Professionals are trained in grief therapy. It’s not a weakness. It’s a strength to ask for it. It helped me tremendously once I found the right person.

Breathe again.

There will be physical symptoms. Sleep and digestion issues. All normal. You will feel anxious because you realize that nothing is in your control. You will worry about how you will feel during holidays and anniversaries. Try to stay in the here and now. Because sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event.

It will feel so dark. And hopeless at times. Breathe again. There were times where I didn’t think I would see the light again even on the sunniest days. Try to write down a few things you are grateful for each day. It will be hard. Maybe it’s that you didn’t burn dinner that night. Or a baby smiled at you. Anything counts. And it will get easier. But it can help you climb out of that dark hole.

Breathe again. Grief is hardest thing we will ever go through. We loved someone with our whole heart so how couldn’t it feel like this when they pass away?

And lastly you will be told that they would want you to be happy. Which is true but..

Just remember. Take your time. We need to go through these hard and confusing emotions first to get to the place where we can smile at the memories. Just keep moving forward one foot at a time.

And give yourself all the love and care you would give to a dear friend.

04/11/2024

Another beautiful poem by Donna Ashworth ###

Flown

Some children flee the nest
and stay flown
no return to source
no reunions
or phone calls filled with news
some fledglings fly away
and stay
away

and all a mamma bird can do
is hope
and send love
in any way she can
whispering it to the trees
and the butterflies
and the birds that pass each day
praying the words will reach them

waiting
full of love
for the fledglings to awake
to the map
that lives in their cells

to remember
the way home.

23/10/2024

This poem is amazing. A powerful reminder for all of us...

Only a Month to Live

One time I met a man
Who only had a month to live
And I asked him if he had
Any advice that he could give

He said “I wake each morning
Knowing I am going to die
So each day must remind me
I am blessed to be alive

You see, my life’s on countdown
As each hour is unfurled
I know the clock is ticking
On my time here in this world

But what you’re overlooking
Is that it’s the same for you -
You know that I am dying
But forget that you are too

So make the most of sunshine
And go dancing in the rain
And sing a little louder
When your favourite music plays

Notice nature’s colours,
Savour everything you taste
Stop waiting for tomorrow
‘Cause you’ve got no time to waste

And could you say convincingly
That you’d have no regrets?
If just the next few days or weeks
Were all that you had left?”

And then my breath caught quickly
When he turned to me and asked
“Could you say that you died happy
If this day had been your last?”

Author: Becky Hemsley 2023

30/07/2024

Treswithian Downs Crematorium A beautiful place - not just a place of death, but a space that honours, celebrates, and reflects the fullness of life. Such beautiful gardens and the natural landscape make it a calming peaceful place for reflection and meditation. A place full of natural beauty and life. And the staff are always so welcoming and warm hearted. ❤️❤️❤️