18/11/2023
Living With A Broken Heart
It’s difficult to strike a balance between the act of grieving and your total lack of control over it.
Living with a broken heart makes it hard to have the will to continue living life and making plans.
When you’re grieving, there’s an array of thoughts and emotions you continue to face that are somehow invisible and unfamiliar to everyone else.
The only people who can understand this are those who have lost a piece of their heart.
After someone you love dies, it feels like everything you say and do is foreign to the outside world. It’s like carrying this invisible, massive boulder, cradling it between both your arms, trying hard not to drop it, praying that at any second, it won’t fall and smash your feet.
How do you explain to people, who have no idea what you’re experiencing, that it’s been several months and you’re still crying yourself to sleep? That you’re always sad? How do you show them what you had to witness with your own eyes, or explain to them why you still just want the person you love to come back?
Well…you can’t.
When someone you love dies, it’s not just their death that you struggle with, it’s also the regret of all the things said and done during the time in which they were still alive. And it’s in all the things you can’t say or do now that they’re gone.
It’s not just about the last interaction you had with someone, it’s about all of it: the birthdays, the holidays, the hugs, the talks, the trips together.
It’s about the lifetime of good memories.
When someone you love is taken from you suddenly, your brain has a way of doing whatever it does when you experience a traumatic event, it holds onto it tight and constantly floods you with thoughts of it.
The unfortunate truth is that you’re susceptible to grief, because you’re able to love. The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief.
Living with a broken heart means learning to accept the fact that every day is just another day without your loved one in it, and that will never change.
Here's the thing...the problem with living with a broken heart, is nobody can see it.
Gary Sturgis - “Surviving Grief”
