Shelley Bell - Independent Celebrant

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Shelley Bell - Independent Celebrant

Fun, full of zest and curiousity, I am a Celebrant who loves to tell your stories.
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13/12/2024

💕 Funeral Friday - Coping with Grief this Christmas 💕

💕 I found this really useful post account that helps to navigate through all the difficult emotions of this seasonal period when navigating your grief journey. Many of the tips can also help if you are experiencing overwhelm of any kind - the essence is to pace and be kind to yourself.

🌸 Follow your instincts if celebrating Christmas like you normally would doesn't feel right, people will understand.
🌸 Don't feel like you need to remove yourself totally from festivities for fear of making other people sad but do reserve the right to step away if it all feels too much.
🌸 Ignore what your head tells you "Should" be happening and remember, its OK to not be OK.
🌸 Discuss your thoughts and feelings with those around you, they will probably be grateful to know how you feel and how they can help.
🌸 Don't be afraid to create a new tradition - light a candle, play favourite music, keep a free seat, include a new photo, share stories, raise a toast with their favourite drink - all simple ways to take a moment, remember and importantly to celebrate your person.

*xCelebrant

12/12/2024

💕 Real Wedding - Gary & Chris 💕

💕 I had the pleasure of conducting a really special wedding ceremony for Chris and Gary on the 20th Anniversary of their meeting. The added thrill for me is that I shared some history with them and some of their guests so it was lovely to see familiar faces in the congregation.
I can honestly say that I have never laughed so hard during a ceremony but I think we captured the right mix of sentimental and silly which reflected the couple so brilliantly - check out the comments :)

💕 Thanks for having me be a part of your special day boys 💕

🌸 You can read more about how this all came to be and the special touches over on my Blog.

*xCelebrant

11/12/2024

💕 Light of Life Service 💕

💕 I had the privilege of being invited to attend the Light of Life Service at where I hold a bereavement group on a Thursday (new group to commence in January so look out for details).

💕 You will probably know that I am not of a religious affiliation however I do call myself Spiritual and on this, my first visit to one of these services, I was profoundly moved. Whether you believe in God or Jesus, Allah or Krishna we carry the same messages for each other as we navigate a time of year that is meant to be full of 'Merry and Bright' but sometimes is dark and difficult.

💕 These messages are based on fundamental ideas of Hope, Love, Togetherness, Forgiveness, Peace, Love, Comfort and Compassion and I am proud to hold those values close in all I do, whether as a Celebrant or Bereavement support coordinator as well as just being a decent human being.
If you have an event like this near you and you find this time of year difficult then please do go, I left with the same skepticism about religion as I went in with, but still found the service really moving and also comforting, an opportunity to feel welcome and have the grief of those present seen, heard and acknowledged.

*xCelebrant

10/12/2024

💕 Blogtastic 💕

💕 Here I am again to remind you that I have a blog available for you to read and relish on my website www.shelleybell.co.uk. This month you can read all about;
🌸 New Ideas for Laid Back Weddings
🍂 The real wedding of Chris and Gary
🌸 My amazing new Meet the Supplier feature with the brilliant Jodie of

💕 Check it out, let me know what you think and don't forget to share it with your friends :)

*xCelebrant

09/12/2024

💕 Monday Motivation - Rituals 💕

💕 This time of year is full of traditions, otherwise known as Rituals.
We all have them but maybe call them by other names - keeping a diary, checking the door is locked with 3 pushes, blowing out candles, wearing wedding rings these are all rituals and symbols that make us feel part of something bigger and see good in the world.

💕 When you create your own ritual it can be really powerful, especially of tied to a feeling or emotion that doesn't bring us joy; when working through grief for instance. Lighting a candle or going for a walk can be rituals to take our power back and give ourselves permission to think, feel and remember but also pleasure in embracing a new activity and when walking we get to feel those happy hormones that start to make us feel better. Small acts done regularly over time give us power and a new focus and thats what rituals are for.

*xCelebrant

06/12/2024

💕 Additional Support for Grief 💕

💕 As I've said all week, there are so many resources available that here are a few more.
🌸 Cruse Bereavement Support 0808 808 1677
🌸 Sue Ryder https://www.sueryder.org/grief-kind-campaign-page/i-am-bereaved/
🌸 The Good Grief Trust https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/
🌸 Samaritans 116123
🌸 Shout text 85258
🌸 Age Well East 0300 37 33 300

05/12/2024

💕 Online Support Tools 💕

💕 There are lots of agencies that are available to help you talk about bereavement, end of life care or grief and I will details some more of them tomorrow. There are also some really great resources available on the 'To Live With Dying' website which was created in conjunction with the NHS, St Helena Hospice and Age well East to meet the needs of people in Ess*x and Suffolk.

You can find it here https://tolivewithdying.co.uk

04/12/2024

💕 Financial Support before or after death 💕

💕 Did you know you can plan and pay for your funeral in advance? There are several ways to do this; a Celebrant like me can plan the ceremony content, location, music, tributes etc with you ahead of time to save the family from needing to worry. Or you can contact your nearest funeral director and see if they offer Golden Charter packages which allow you to pay for your funeral in advance or companies like SunLife offer Life Assurance policies to pay out when you die.

💕 After you have died there maybe support available from the government.

The Bereavement Support Payment is not means-tested. This means what you earn or how much you have in savings will not affect what you get.
🌸 When your partner dies, you must have been: Under State Pension age,
living in the UK or a country that pays bereavement benefits; married to your partner, in a civil partnership with them, or living with them as if you were married
Your partner must have either: paid a certain amount of Class 1 or Class 2 National Insurance contributions in any one tax year since 6 April 1975 or died because of an accident at work or a disease caused by work.

🌸 You could get a Funeral Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment) if you get certain benefits and need help to pay for a funeral you’re arranging.

Check out https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments for more information.

03/12/2024

💕 Grief Support Networks 💕

💕 As we navigate our thoughts and feelings in grief it is important to take care of ourselves too.

Keeping to a routine can help to keep you grounded, seeing friends or chatting over the phone can help, getting some exercise and eating and sleeping well are also important, as is reminding ourselves to be kind to ourselves – there is no right way or wrong way to grieve.

💕 There are lots of agencies available to help you navigate your grief, whether via a walking group, talking group, digital resources or telephone calls - just reach out and I can help you find the right network for you.

02/12/2024

💕 National Grief Awareness Week 💕

💕 This week is National Grief Awareness week and as Chief Grief Fairy (A name I have just given myself!) I will be focusing on this topic all week.

🌸 What is Grief?
Grief is the emotional response we experience when we experience a significant loss, such as the death of a friend, family member or pet.

Grief can include feelings of, sadness, numbness, denial, disbelief, confusion, anxiety, panic and anger. It can all feel overwhelming and the way we process our grief is different person to person based on beliefs, cultural influences, your relationship with the person who has died and previous experiences of death.

In this , we will look at ways we can help you to process your grief and what resources are available to you.

29/11/2024

💕 World AIDS Day - Sunday December 1st 💕

💕 This December 1st, as every year we mark World AIDS Day and this is the 37th year. This along with some refresher training I did this past week about people living with HIV and AIDs reminded me of how far we have come since I was a kid and the most terrifying adverts ever were on TV and through letter boxes.
Newspapers preached of the Gay Pandemic and there was so much stigma about it, even though numerous people had contracted HIV through medical negligence like blood transfusions - I really hope we don't see another campaign like it.

💕 Unlike in the 80's there are now treatments to protect people from contracting HIV and to better manage the illness so it doesn't manifest as full blown AIDS, most of my peers use condoms and know about 'safe s*x', though I do worry the message is a little lost on teens these day. But I am lucky, I live in the UK, the developed world, where the avenues for support and information are publicly available - others are not so lucky.

💕 The Terrence Higgins Trust are continuing their campaigns to fundraise and raise awareness by selling their red ribbons because the red ribbon is the international symbol for HIV awareness and support for people living with HIV. But it’s more than a ribbon.
🌸It’s remembering everyone lost to HIV.
🌸It’s a promise to support people living with HIV.
🌸It’s a pledge to end new cases of HIV by 2030.
🌸It’s a stand against HIV stigma.

💕 If you can, please do help and if you can't maybe take a minute to update your knowledge about HIV and AIDS - a lot has changed in 37 years!

*xCelebrant

28/11/2024

💕 Happy Thanksgiving 💕

💕 Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S chums and for those of you in the U.K, maybe take a minute and think of what you are Thankful for today. Here are some of mine but feel free to share yours.....

I'm Thankful for;
🍂 Good Friends
🍂 An Amazing Family
🍂 The busiest wedding season I've had for some years and my amazing couples (just need a few more bookings for 2025!!)
🍂 Having 2 jobs I love - Celebrancy and working for @ as an End of Life and Bereavement coordinator.
🍂 My Super Duper Husband
🍂 Freedom to be creative and to plan my year ahead.
💕 What are yours???

*xCelebrant

27/11/2024

💕 Make a gift Day 💕

💕 In case you hadn't noticed......Christmas is coming..... and this time of year is tough for people who feel the pressure of present buying, card writing and all the other stuff that can make this seasonal time of year and expensive one.
The lady in this picture looks very industrious but is in fact making candles to gift her friends and family this year....its pretty inexpensive and simple to do.

💕 We have a family tradition of gifting something that is home made - I've done candles, sweety jars, macrame tree decs and hampers on pyrographed chopping boards. I look forward to doing it, trying new skills and seeing peoples faces when they realise how clever I am!! Of course, you do need to be careful and check that the parts don't outweigh the cost of buying one from a local maker and that you have the time - its not fun under pressure.

💕 Whether you are handmaking elements for your ceremony or for this time of year, it can be great fun, really personalised and most of the time cheaper than buying the bougie shop versions BUT it can take time, skills you may not have and might not have the finish you were looking for.

💕 The other option to handmaking a gift is to donate your time - why not pledge a day out to a favourite garden centre, movie, country house or enjoyable pursuit or maybe offer a couple of hours gardening to get the spring bulbs planted or wreaths made. I know they say time costs money but time also gives you unique experiences with people you love and its free.....

*xCelebrant

26/11/2024

💕 National Cake Day 💕

💕 Who doesn't love cake? Are you crazy......I even love watching people make cake, like on Bake Off..... but this i thought I would just tag some of the amazing people I have met who make amazing cakes...... check them out.

🌸
🌸
🌸 *x_
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸 .cakes
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸
🌸 My Mum
and for toppers

*xcelebrant

25/11/2024

💕 Increasing Perception 💕

💕 Writer Maya Angelou said “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Getting people to really understand you and perceive the message you are trying to convey is not just about words and motion but it is harnessing the twelve tricks to help people see and feel what it is you are trying to say.

🌸 Use numbers, they are definitive, you can easily picture 3 roses or twenty people
🌸 Colours - are those roses red so the message is filled with love, are the twenty people from all ethnicities and ability so giving a message of inclusivity.
🌸 Phenomes - the building blocks of words. Saying I when you are proud and strong sounds different to that when you say I'm sorry because the feeling behind it is different.
🌸 Radiance - it is the light and shade, the pitch and tone of what we say.
🌸 Shape - straight lines are strong, curves are more inclusive.
🌸 Proximity - where is the message to be positioned? Sign written by a plane above your head, on a noticeboard or a shoulder to shoulder chat?
🌸 Motion - think about hand and head movements to add passion and animation to your messages.
🌸 Taste - adds flavour to how we view the world - a sweet kiss or a bitter pill to swallow...
🌸 Smell - smoke in the air, clean linen, cut grass - it paints a picture of not just a location but a feeling.
🌸 Feel - give it texture, is what you are describing rough as tree bark or smooth as silk? Think chocolate adverts - cadburys caramel bunny or Galaxy chocolate??
🌸 Symbols - this is why emojis have become so popular - nothing says p**p like 💩
🌸 Music - says things words can't with tone, rhythm, movement. Think about how your favourite song makes you feel, what's the message there?

💕 Don't feel like you need to use all of these together, they are equally powerful alone but getting our communication to be evocative so it provokes a feeling will guarantee people understand where you are coming from.

*xCelebrant

22/11/2024

💕 Non-Traditional Funerals 💕

💕 When preparing a funeral I've often been asked "What do people usually do?",
and whilst this is a valid question, its about you not them. Consider the following points and it will help you to put together the outline of a ceremony.

🌸 Burial or Cremation?
🌸 Where? Natural Burial ground or cemetery? Ashes to be interred into the ground, kept at home, turned into a keepsake?
🌸 Religious or not? is the inclusion of a prayer or hymn important to you?
🌸 Outdoors or Indoors?
🌸 Church, Chapel, Back garden, bingo hall? The location doesn't need to be 'traditional'
🌸 Transport - Hearse, horse and carriage, family car, motorcycle, tractor?
🌸 What music do you like? Do you have a special song from a first dance or a party favourite, maybe you were a dedicated fan of a particular artist?
🌸 Guest speakers? Does anyone have a tribute they would like to make or have a poem they would like to read?
🌸 Eulogy - time line or storytelling?
🌸 Celebrate or commiserate? Joyful or sad?

💕 I've had a gentleman recently contact me to prepare his funeral ahead of his death. His view is that everyone in attendance will know who he is and what he did with his life so apart from a few personal messages of thanks he wishes to share he wants to concentrate on the music of his life - the number one on the day he was born, the song he thinks of his wife to, the first dance from their wedding, dancing at his daughters wedding, his favourite shower sing a long. He welcomes anyone who wishes to speak and share a story but other than that he wants people to have a beer and raise a toast to a life well lived, so we will hold the ceremony at the local pub - brilliant.
Let me know how I can help create a ceremony that reflects you and your wishes by reaching out on 07727277996 or via the links in my profile.

21/11/2024

💕 Award Winning 💕

💕 A year ago I was at the .weddings Awards and was lucky enough to win the 'Most Unique Celebrant Award' and I was over the moon.
I was also recognised as a Finalist in the Ess*x Wedding Awards as a 'Couples Choice' supplier recognised for exceeding the expectations of my clients. I had a lovely evening at a very expensive dinner with a bunch of my industry colleagues and loved cheering them all on.

💕 Sadly, I'm not in any major awards shows this year but never fear, I will be back next year. I did get another couple of bogus awards but less said about them the better :)

💕 So, whats the point of this post if not to gloat? I'm just reflecting on some wonderful experiences, celebrating success with some really hardworking people and thrilled to achieve a little bit of recognition from some credible sources for a job well done. Here's to 2025!! 🥂

*xCelebrant

20/11/2024

💕 Find Your Inspiration 💕

💕 A while back I shared how its important to me to recharge my creative batteries and get inspired. There is no better way to do this than admiring the work of one of your creative hero's and with this in mind I paid a lovely visit to the Design Museum in London for the Tim Burton Exhibition,

💕 It was amazing to see drawings from his adolescent years and how they morphed to become figures from movies and animations that I love. He also, like me had a great love for Ray Harryhausen films - surely you've all watched the Adventures of Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts at Christmas and revelled at the Medusa's head, skeleton army and little golden owl...?

💕 If you love Tim Burton, I highly recommend this exhibition and if this is too dark for you then the Barbie exhibition is on downstairs in the museum - you can even be your own living doll and have a selfie in the Barbie Box!!

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How Can I Help You?

My Independent Family Celebrant services provide beautifully tailored and unique Wedding Ceremonies, Vow Renewals, Naming Ceremonies and sensitive Funeral Ceremonies across Ess*x and East Anglia. Your ceremony is equally important to me as it is to you, so I take the time to find out who you are and pay special attention to what is truly important to you, as well as how you want the ceremony to look and feel.

Say goodbye to someone in a style that truly reflected them or usher in the future with a new spouse or welcome a child into the family in a ceremony full of joy and inspiration, there are no limits to what your ceremony can be.

With abundant choices and a multitude of elements to choose from in your ceremony it can be everything you imagined, with no restriction on location, licenses or legal requirements that are prevalent in civil ceremonies.

Whether you have a religious belief or prefer to incorporate other traditions, I have something for everyone and respect your personal spirituality and beliefs.