10/10/2024
***WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY!!!***
As a SINGLE, single parent in her 40s, I am very much aware of the pitfalls of modern day dating! Especially with being a parent, where your children are often classed as "baggage". Of also being in my forties, and often classed as a "m**f" or "cougar". Not only do these terms make you feel like a burden to other potential, single men, the latter puts you into a purely sexual category - although sugarcoated to be a compliment!
After an extremely tough separation, and divorce, due to infidelity, 7 years ago. My mental health took a massive downfall. Not only was this soul-destroying to me, I can honestly say that it's been the worst thing that I have ever had to go through in my life. I felt as though I was a glass object that had been dropped, and as a result smashed into a million pieces, and although glueing myself back together, the scars of my cracks were still showing and felt.
Often, I no longer wanted to exist, and had some extremely dark thoughts. It was an indescribably low and lonely period in my life, where people I had once known and loved had abandoned me, without any remorse or contact. I was left like a nobody to deal with things alone, because it was easier for people to not discuss what had happened, and therefore avoid.
I had to value myself and see my self-worth again, in the form of loving myself, and my own company again! Not just for me, but for my beautiful little boy!
After endless arguments, and confrontations with my ex husband, in addition to major financial hardships, whilst raising a 22 month old infant alone, healing from labour, appendicitis, postnatal depression, risk of homelessness, working, running a house/mortgage, garden, car etc, and trying to keep sane, was the toughest job I'd ever had to do, and after 7 years, I know that a part of me had died, but I had developed and evolved into a different creature - weaker in some ways, but stronger in others, but more importantly still here!
This is why I started my own business, Singles Connect; I wanted a new challenge, something exciting, and all mine! After a time in my life of being uncertain and out of control! I want the dating experience for others to be much more natural and organic again. With real-life, face to face interactions, removing the occasional dangers, disingenuous, and inconsistent interactions of online dating.
This is not me taking over or knocking online dating, but merely stating from my experiences of myself, and my peers.
I'd like to finally say that this post is by no means a ploy for self pity, nor to compare my woahs and burdens with those of others, but to create awareness through my own personal difficulties, and experiences. I hope it helps someone, and truthfully realise that you are NOT ALONE, you ARE LOVED, you DO MATTER, and things will/do GET BETTER in the end!
Ps. Always remember to be kind to yourself & others! Appreciate & regularly call in on your loved ones!
Valérie at Singles Connect ❤️x
