Lyn Fegan Ceremonies

27/12/2024

24/12/2024

Shared from a family for whom I did a ceremony this year. I have nothing to add.
Have as good a day as you possibly can and take time for you.

19/12/2024

This is a tough time for so many people who've lost someone. I know some will feel that everyone else is being jolly and enjoying life while they just can't join in.
But be assured that there are people thinking of you, enjoy your memories and perhaps try very small steps to make new ones.
Thinking of all the families I've worked with this year and before.
Have as good a Christmas as you can and all the best for the new year.
Take time to take care of yourselves and each other.

22/11/2024

I'm going to miss working with Malcolm. Always professional, but fun with it, compassionate, empathetic and with an awesome attention to detail, he will be much missed in Swanage. Enjoy your retirement!

22/11/2024

I've just discovered it's National Funeral Celebrant Day (who thinks these things up?), so I thought it warranted a post to say how much I love my job.
From meeting a family for the first time and hearing their loved one's story (and some of the stories are amazing!), to writing a bespoke ceremony and then delivering it, this work ticks all my boxes. I love meeting the people and helping them through what is obviously a really difficult time, making sure that I write a ceremony that really reflects the life is very rewarding and delivering it in a way that conveys the essence of the person - all of that fits with my skills.
It's now six years since I trained and I've met hundreds of lovely families. Bring on the next six years. I'm very lucky to have found a whole new career in 'later life!'

24/10/2024

It’s difficult to know what to say when sleepy Swanage suddenly becomes the lead story on the national news.
I seem to have neglected this page recently and I apologise for that, but I feel the need to say something, to react publicly to yesterday’s shocking news, even if all I can do is state the obvious – I’m thinking of the family and friends of those who lost their lives at Gainsborough Care Home yesterday and of those who are still in hospital.
In a small community like this the ripples are felt everywhere. So many people will know someone whose loved one was evacuated and is now in a strange place, probably confused and upset.
And then there’s the staff, who cared for the residents on a day to day basis and considered them friends. They must be so shocked at what’s happened.
They will all need our support.
And it’s fitting, although coincidental, that Louis Manning Hospice’s Candles by the Sea is taking place at Swanage Bandstand this Saturday 26th between 5.30 and 7.00.
I’m sure Swanage will turn out in force to pay tribute to those who’ve died this year. I’ll be there to light a candle for all the families I've worked with. I welcome this opportunity to remember them all as well as those affected by the recent tragic events in the town.

24/05/2024

07/04/2024

This is such a great option for families.

07/04/2024

This week I've written and delivered three very different ceremonies. Very personal music choices in each one, a steam train sound effect for a steam railway enthusiast and three very different but lovely families to work with.
I love my job!

10/03/2024

This is a fantastic initiative and one that I'm sure will be popular. Look forward to working in this lovely setting.

10/03/2024

Thinking today of the many families I've worked with who've lost their Mum. No matter how well prepared you are, your Mum is still your Mum and that's always special. Many will find today hard but, sadly, that's part of loving someone.
Take care of yourselves and each other. You've got this.

23/12/2023

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=776870807784838&id=100063857760947

Holiday host etiquette: If you’re inviting someone to your home and they’re grieving, be sure you’re inviting their grief to attend, too. It will be there, anyway.

Don’t invite someone with the goal of cheering them up for the holidays. Don’t expect them to put on a happy face in your home. Don’t demand they fake it til they make it or do something they don’t want to do, either.

Invite them with the loving intention of offering cheer and companionship and unconditional care during the holidays. To do this, you will need to honor and be responsive to their needs and emotions.

You can do this by privately acknowledging their grief when you make the invitation:

“I know this season is extra hard and your heart is hurting. You and your grief are welcome in our home. Come as you are, we’d be honored to have you with us.”

It’s also incredibly loving to honor the reality that it’s often hard for grieving folks to know what they will want, need, be up for, or able to tolerate at the holidays.

Giving them an invite without the need for commitment and permission to change their mind is extra loving:

“You don’t have to decide right now. If it feels good to be with us, we will have plenty of food and love for you-just show up! I’ll check in again the day before to see if you’re feeling up to coming over and if there’s anything you’d like me to know about how we can support you.”

Your grieving friends and fam need attentive care and responsiveness at the holidays, not plans to keep them busy, distracted, and happy.

If they’re laughing, laugh with them.

If they’re weeping, ask if they’d like your company or your help finding a quiet place to snuggle up alone for awhile.

If they’re laughing while weeping, and this is more common than you’d think, stay with them - this is a precious moment of the human experience that is truly sacred.

We don’t need to protect ourselves or each other from grief at the holidays. In fact, the more we embrace grief as an honored holiday guest, the more healthy, happy, and whole our holidays will be. 🙏

Sarah Nannen

21/12/2023

At Christmas there’s a lot of pressure to be perfect and have it all. We see adverts showing happy families in matching PJs, huge piles of expensive presents, nobody is having a drunken row, grieving for a loved one, struggling with finding money for their Christmas dinner or feeling lonely in these adverts.

The Samaritans have a free number - 116 123 (UK). A simple copy and paste might save someone's life.

Remember it's OK not to be OK.