Peter dean entertainments

03/11/2024

Both windows are exactly the same height

02/11/2024

20/10/2024

Lovely optical illusion

13/10/2024

A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a s*xy blonde walked up to him and said “I’ve always wanted to have s*x with a little person”
The dwarf replied “I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get the s**t kicked out of me”
“It’s ok” said the woman “ my husband is working away until next week “
So, against his better judgment he goes back with the woman.
Well, they start having amazing s*x, when suddenly the front door opens.
“Sh*t, it’s my husband “ she said
“ quick, hang out of the bedroom window, and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away”
So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips.
The husband comes in the bedroom and says “ f**k, it’s cold in here” and slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground.
Well the woman is distraught and calls an ambulance.
A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in hospital
“How are you” ? She asked
“Well my fingers are broken, I’ve got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion “ he said
“Oh dear” she said
“Still , it could have been much worse “
“Much worse !” Said the dwarf
“How do you figure that out?”
“Well” she said......“It’s lucky I live in a bungalow”

12/10/2024

A blonde is sick and tired of being the target of so many jokes so she wears a ginger wig . While on a drive in the country with her boyfriend they suddenly encounter a shepherd moving his flock of sheep along a lane, the boyfriend , a maths professor shouted to the Shepard " if I can correctly guess the number of sheep you have can I have one ?
The Shepard says" go on then"
The boyfriend gets out of the car looks at the flock and says " 374"
The Shepard is shocked and says "that's correct , pick your sheep"
The boyfriend says to his girlfriend " go on pick one "
So his girlfriend has a look around and puts one in the back of the car .
With that the Shepard says " if I can guess your girlfriends real hair colour can I have my dog back?"

24/09/2024

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble.

You have my Word.

14/09/2024

I came home from the pub 4 hours late last night...

"Where the f have you been"...? screamed my wife.

I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes"...

"Playing poker"...? She repeated. "Well, you can pack your bags and go"...

"So can you," I said. "This isn't our house anymore"...😮🤣🤣

11/09/2024

Since i have been ill these curries really set my tummy off!