Keith "Aussie" Eleftheriou - Celebrant & Emcee

11/04/2024

And that's a wrap!

While I'll never say never*, a huge Congrats to Stacey & (scruff) Nate who gave me full freedom in sealing their respective fates on their Big Day Out, and I couldn't have asked for a better couple to sign out on. It's not often you actually befriend your couples, but these two are worthy.

Was a shame I had to work the following day, for the wine doth flowed!

(photos courtesy of Andrea Kewish Photography)

*a return from retirement will depend on two weddings; my good pal Micky B, and Taylor Swift's - although I'm not sure I can officiate my own wedding.

15/02/2024

As of approximately 9:30pm on Saturday 17th Feb 2024 - after marrying and emceeing Nate & Stace's Big Day Out - I will no longer be Keith "Aussie" Eleftheriou - Celebrant & Emcee.
Thanks for the 130-ish couples who were stupid enough to have me ruin their days, as well as the single baby-naming, the few vow renewals, and those two fu***rs who never paid me (you know who you are!).
My lovely wife - obviously better for the camera, if not the laughs - has been offered up as an alternative for my future dates, and soon my existence in this field willl cease to exist in person as well as online.
###

03/02/2024

While my lovely wife is officiating in Oxford for Kayla & Stu, I'm up in (thankfully) sunny Nelson to destroy the lives of Rachel & Jamie.

29/01/2024

Beats. Sounds. Tunes. Rhythms. Grooves. Vibes.

Whatever you call it, it's hard to deny it; music defines us, reminds us, affects us, and pleases us.

A simple riff can take you back to your teens, in the school grounds at night with your mates drinking that home-made dog's p**s you stole from the old man, a melody taking you back to kissing a girl goodbye that you hooked up with with while in an overseas port, or a lyric that just summed up your mood at that moment in time, be it happiness, anger, heartbreak, depression, or, of course as it is often tagged to; love.

And that's why I've always put an emphasis on my couples putting some decent thought into their wedding music; the song you choose will be with you, forever (unless of course you find your partners banging the nanny, or has been do***ng or cottaging, or, just dies).

Those who have followed me from the start will know my thoughts on people's choices, specifically if they're trying to be "relevant" or "now", or sneak in some Ed Sheeran, and let it be known, some songs have intrigued me, made me proud, and if course disgusted me.

And now I share (most of) them with you. Going through all of the 130ish ceremonies I've performed, I have compiled each song that I was requested to play for the Groom and his mates, the Bride and her bi***es, the Signing, and - of course - the walk-out. And if it helps you, great, otherwise consider a mood playlist for long journeys, tubs of ice cream, and sleepovers.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ptHT6PKAZJRbn7gRBzqVP?si=BTrKJaIET8mrCI3-wlMxHw&pi=a-yTiJg-K7QESv

Each song represents a time, though not intent, it was used, so some songs, such as Jack Johnson's "Better Together" shows multiple times indicating the number of weddings it was chosen. I reckon you'll understand which choices I want entirely enamoured with, but then, Hey! It's not my choice!

Enjoy! (or not)

*thanks to my gorgeous wife for gracing the cover; photo courtesy of Michael Robertson Photography*

13/01/2024

As most will know - especially those mad couples I've married during the height of summer - I don't do heat, which is why today I find myself locked inside with the air con running as the temperature climbs towards the high 20s...and taking the opportunity to write up a wedding (February in Nelson) and a funeral (Christchurch, no fixed date*).

27/12/2023

What's for dinner?

Fu***ng potato salad and ham.

Again.

F**k I hate post-Xmas dining.

06/12/2023

Symbolising strong roots and a relationship that's made to last, wood is the traditional gift given on your fifth wedding anniversary.

Knowing Malcolm, he won't know this, and if he did he would likely buy a wooden spoon...knowing Pang, she will take that spoon, and they will have to change the sixth wedding anniversary gift to bandages and antiseptic cream.

One of the great couples who share the same cheeky sense of humour as myself, Happy Fifth guys!!!

19/11/2023

As anyone knows, I'm partial to a le***an, or two, so when lovely ex-neighbour and friend, Sammy, switched codes and announced her engagement to the equally lovely Courtney, and asked if would join them, I was understandably ecstatic...
..as it turned out, it seemed that I may have misread the request.

*sigh*

Three years after their wonderful Big Day Out, I still live in hope...

Happy Anniversary, you beautiful creatures ###

11/11/2023

It's great to be back...

&Caitlyn

07/10/2023

So as not to freak out my upcoming weddings in 2024 and 2025 - notwithstanding those remaining this year - I have just completed my request to renew my role as a Celebrant and now fingers crossed that they fall for it...
..but seriously, take note of this from the Dept of Internal Affairs;

"Every person who falsely pretends to be a marriage celebrant and solemnises any marriage, knowingly and wilfully so doing, commits an offence and shall be liable on conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 5 years."

26/09/2023

If you're not laughing, there's something very wrong with you...
..or your Celebrant.

10/09/2023

"And it was Karita’s mentions of “fish and chips”, and “sitting on someone’s deck at sixat night” that were like red rags to Mark’s twisted humour, and when one day Karitaturned up with bright red lippy, Mark couldn’t help himself and pointed out that shelooked like a clown wearing make-up, she snapped, and she threw a punch.
“It was a solid bloody throw, to be fair,” Mark explained to me.
But it started a friendship in the pair that grew, and over the next eight or ninemonths, a change in their dynamic.
Ironically everyone but the pair could sense the sexual tension in the bar, and whenone day Karita decided that Mark needed a woman in his life, when castration was
probably the better option to womankind.
And so she started on her quest, and as time went on and she failed to find anyonesuitable for her friend, she came to the realisation that the only woman perfect for
him…was her.
And she messaged him to that effect; “I can’t find you a girl, because it’s me!”
Awwwww…"

And so it passed to be that Karita and Mark exchanged vows and rings, turned down a monetary offer from a deviant Celebrant, and even survived a night in A & E.

Congrats guys, what a great day! Safe travels home!

07/09/2023

My lovely wife showing off her dulcet tones on local radio an "easier on the eye option" for your Big Day Out.

I'm taking a break from planning wedding ceremonies today to work on my other love...live radio! 104.9 103.7

30/08/2023

As the weather warms, and the days lengthen, I am slowly emerging from hibernation in readiness for the wedding season, and first off the rank is yet another disgusting mish-mash of Aussies fornicating with Kiwis coming out from sunny Queensland for their nuptials at Wigram Air Base, and then a couple of metal-heads at the Woolston Club; both bringing very unique music options into the bargain.
While I have played Queen in many ceremonies (including my own), Karita and Mark's choice of "Flash" is one I am looking forward to cranking at full volume, albeit for the "Beer Boy", and some T.I. and Bianco Brown makes their debut as well. Meanwhile, Lavina & Mitch have opted for some Evancescence and Amy Lee which have featured before, but in a first for me, they will walk out to Rammstein!!

10/04/2023

On the way to Bangor Farm - The Deer Shed I spotted what I thought were a bunch of Mormons on the side of the road, until Madam Thirteen pointed out that it was Dan, the Groom of the ceremony I was about to perform. It turned out the classic ride delivering the groomsmen could not deal with the somewhat large Tongan in the back seat, and s**t itself. So it was "The V8 Wedding Wagon" to the rescue, getting the lads, and then later the girls, to the wedding.

A little later than expected.

But that's why they entrusted me with their Big Day Out, I delivered, and what a day, what an occasion, and what a night.

A great couple that - despite everything life has thrown at them - did what they were destined to do; be together.

05/02/2023

Today* is a double Anniversary celebration;

First - and the couple who 'popped my cherry' - a good all-round bloke (and I'm not just talking about his girth) and half-decent front-rower, Vaugno, and the absolutely stunning Gabby. Hugs & Kisses to you both.

And then there is Ants and Amanda, tattoo-nirvana, and a hell of a laid-back couple. Hugs & Kisses to you both as well.

*as it turns out, both anniversaries are actually tomorrow - I ran into Vaughan in the street and wished him a happy anniversary and he freaked out a little thinking he had got the date wrong. Sorry bud - and to you Ants if I have had you running circles - my notifications are set for a day's notice. Oops.

04/02/2023

And it's a Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary to this great couple of boguns!

31/01/2023

It's always an honour being asked to perform a wedding for any couple, let alone a great couple. So when it's for a great mate, it's one for the ages.
Ok, it was New Year's, but I wanted the right photos before posting the event that saw these two (finally) say "I Do".
*photos courtesy of *

05/01/2023

To a great, great couple, Shannon & Ricki, the gym-bunnies; a very happy First Anniversary*!

(*at least I hope they made it to their first...)

21/12/2022

Four years.
Three postponements.
Logistics from hell on both sides of the puddle.
And the ever unpredictable Summerless South's weather - dealt to by Yours Truly, again.
But, with perseverance, teamwork, and fortitude, we finally shackled young Tommy & Loz, with special guest, Leo John James.
A massive Thanks to Trudi and her team, and Chef Hamish and his for pulling off the fairytale wedding of the year.

17/12/2022

Tom and Lauren's wedding at here in Dunedin is a relatively late affair, so that gives me some time to kill by working on the next couple of scheduled weddings in the comfort of my hotel room; my good pal Q and his Bride-To-Be Tina's on New Year's Eve in Purau Bay, and Dan & Kristin's twice-COVID-postponed wedding next year at the stunning

17/12/2022

Four years ago I chatted to Lauren & Tom from Aussie about this day...and after three attempts and a five hour drive, a hitchhiker, and a quick dry-run, we're set for their Big Day Out at .

03/12/2022

"They moved in together, acquired a couple of dogs - sort of - and in a brain-fart of Biblical proportions, Alex sold his ‘drifter’ Skyline and bought an S2000, a car that while impressive, is only just marginally more masculine than a soft-top MX5 as favoured by girls and middle-aged gay male haridressers.

It was at this point that Tash seriously considered their relationship, but as she pointed out; “at least I still had the S14, so I now wore the pants.”"

With one of Christchurch's best known rice-rockets, a Best Man with a split personality, a Bride with two (!!) wedding dresses, a Groom shown up by his better-adorned dogs, and an insult televised live to the nation of Romania, the ceremony for Tash & Alex had more plot twists and costume changes than a Shakespearean comedy.

A great fu***ng day of laughs and fun with a great young couple who I wish all the best in the future...
..and No, Officer, it wasn't us.

25/11/2022

While checking that everything is sorted for Aussie couple Stef & Fraser's* wedding tomorrow in Tai Tapu, I'm also putting the finishing touches to the first draft of fellow Australians Tom & Lauren's* at Larnoch Castle next month in Dunedin.

On a side note, you may remember my end-of-season stats run down of 2020, when Alisha Robinson's rattled off a seemingly unbeatable 497 words in her dedication to Brody.

But when Stef's novel was sent through to me, I was certain it would sn**ch the title, but she fell will short with a mere 456.

And then Fraser, man-bun owner and romantic-extraordinaire, destroyed all before him - and quite possibly all those to follow - with a mammoth 607 words of love, loyalty, and brown-nosing prose!

Stunning effort, my man.

* Tom and Stef are Kiwis living in Aussie.

19/11/2022

That's how you celebrate your Big Day Out, even if it's probably not the best way to treat a classic muscle car...my attempt later in the day was at best, less impressive and will have to concede to Ford. This time. *sigh*

12/11/2022

It was one of those days where you're not sure whether you'd prefer the Canterbury heat, or 'big ole fat Nor'West rain'; not that it really mattered, the fact that soul mates John & Kristina got to have beers, V8s, and their closest witness their Big Day Out was all that mattered.
Gotta love a wedding that has a carbon footprint matching the downtown bus depot and Ruapuna mixed together.
Great to catch up with some of my oldest, (not by age, of course) and favouritist wedding glitterati in the process.