28/03/2024
HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE —BUSTED!
Magandang adhikain yan, actually pabor yan sating mga wifey BUT sorry kung babasagin ko ang magandang saying na ito.
I don’t believe in this.
I don’t support this idea. Kung ito ang magiging puntirya o goal ng mga hubby o ng marriage magkakaroon tayo ng malaking problema in the future. Why? Here are my reasons:
1) HAPPINESS IS TEMPORARY AND IS SITUATIONAL.
Paano na kapag hindi na happy si wifey? Miserable na ang buhay natin? Ang happiness pa naman ay nangyayari kapag maganda ang mga ganap sa ating buhay. Kapag okay na okay ang situation at pabor sa atin, happy tayo. Pero kapag medyo challenging na ang situation o kaya hindi na naaayon sa gusto nating mangyari, nawawala na rin ang happiness. Happiness is an empty pursuit. Para kang nanghuhuli ng hangin. Mahirap hulihin at mahirap i-preserve. Kaya naman kung sa happiness ni wifey nakasalalay ang happiness natin sa buhay, asahan nating mapapagod tayo, ma-ffrustrate at madidissapoint dahil makikipaghabulan lang tayo sa saranggolang hindi tayo ang may hawak ng pisi.
2) THIS IS SELFISHNESS.
Please don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with being happy. Sino ba namang ayaw maging masaya? Wala naman atang tao na nag-desire na maging malungkot. Kahit ako, gusto ko maging masaya and again, walang masama doon. Alam nyo ba kung saan tayo magkaka-problema? Kapag masyado tayo naging consumed ng sarili nating happiness—yung wala tayong ibang inisip at inintindi kundi ang sarili nating karapatan, sarili nating kapakanan at kung ano-ano pa na patungkol sa sarili natin. I’m not saying na magpaka-martir tayo pero alam nyo ba na ang tunay na kahulugan ng love is selflessness? From the word itself ‘less of yourself’ and ‘more of others’. Iisipin at uunahin muna natin ang kapakanan at welfare ng taong mahal natin bago ang sarili natin. So instead of asking:
❓How can you make me happy?
❓How can you make me feel that you love me and that you value me?
❓How can you serve me more?
❓How can I satisfy you?
We ask these questions instead:
👍How can I make you happy?
👍How can I make you feel loved and valued?
👍How can I serve you more?
👍How can I satisfy you?
Imagine kung ganyan ang mga questions ng mga mag-asawa sa sarili nila, di ko ma-imagine kung gaano ka-thriving ang mga marriages natin. Hindi lang si Misis ang maligaya, pati si Mister at pati narin ang mga bagets. Ito dapat ang perspective na pinaghihirapan nating aralin at gawin. Mas long-term ang effect at higit sa lahat ito ang tama.
3) MEN SHOULD LEAD.
Ayaw natin ng conflict at sakit sa ulo, so sige! Ibigay nalang ang gusto at hilig ni Wifey, regardless kung ano pa yan, maging happy lang siya. Mas convenient nga naman ang ganung decision kaysa manindigan sa kung ano ang dapat. Mas hindi comfortable minsan ang i-lead sila sa tama (at hindi lang sa happiness). Aminin natin, minsan yung tamang decision hindi masyadong ‘happy’ gawin. Yung maling decision, most of the time, yun ang masaya. BUT we don’t want to settle kung ano lang ang masaya. We want to choose what is right. Dahil mas maganda at mas may lasting impact ito in the future. Minsan yung happiness sandali ka lang i-sasatisfy, pero yung decision that will honor and please the Lord mas worth it ipaglaban at gawin. Bakit? Kasi obedience to the Lord brings blessings.
Christ created and mandated the men to initiate and bear the responsibility. The husband’s ultimate mission is to lead his wife and family closer to Jesus—yun lang, wala ng iba. Kapag yan ang ginawa nating mission, everything else will fall into place.
It doesn’t make sense if we have a happy wife tapos unhappy naman si Lord. Parang mas mahirap yun. Men, wag maging passive. Take the lead. Wag oo ng oo para lang maging happy kaming mga misis, lead us to the right path kahit hindi ito ‘happy’ and ‘pleasant’ at times. We need your tough love. Help us to love Jesus more so we can love you more and submit to you. Help us na magkaroon ng desire na paligayahin ang Dios at hindi lang ang mga sarili namin. Yes at times, may conflict because conflict is inevitable but we expect for you husbands to handle those conflicts maturely, with wisdom and with grace. We need leaders and not men who will submit to our every will.
So that’s my top three reasons why I don’t believe in the saying ‘happy wife, happy life’.
Ultimately, my happiness as a wife is not dependent on what my husband can do or offer but it is solely found in Christ alone. Actually, my happiness, my security and even my identity is found in Christ. Hindi sa akin o sa kaya kong gawin at lalong hindi rin sa asawa ko. Mabait ang asawa ko (naka-jackpot talaga ako sa kanya) and I can really testify to that but he is not perfect. May shortcomings and weaknesses parin siya (gaya ko din) and kung sa kanya ko i-aasa at hahanapin ang happiness ko baka ma-dissappoint lang ako sa huli at ang ending e sisihin at sumbatan ko lang siya.
Ladies, let God satisfy and fulfill you. Sa Kanya tayo mag-expect, umasa at maghanap. He will never dissapoint us. He won’t let us down. He will give us joy— ito yung ibang level ng kaligayahan na kahit hindi ganun ka-pleasant ang mga kaganapan sa buhay natin there’s this unspeakable and unexplainable joy na hindi temporary and hindi shallow. Ika nga, “it surpasses all understandings.”
‘Happy wife, happy life’ is not the secret to a successful marriage. Love God more— as in more than anything and more than anyone in this world— and make Him happy. That’s the secret for not just a successful marriage but to a joyful and thriving life.
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AND IF YOU WANNA KNOW MORE, we’ve written a book entitled “USAPANG MAG-ASAWA”. At dito, ibinuhos namin lahat ng learnings, wisdom and conviction naming mag-asawa on how you can build a solid and thriving marriage relationship.
