SLAM PORTAL

Intergalactic Professional Wrestling in Austin, TX
(1)

11/06/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Who is this new visitor from the El Paso, Texas solar system and what are his views on The Promise Ring? Perhaps we will find out on Saturday; but probably not. We have a lot to do.

11/05/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

HO-HO-HOLY SMOKES! SLAM PORTAL is making its debut at FAR OUT LOUNGE + STAGE, winner of the “Best New Music Venue” by the Austin Music Awards!

Join us for LAUGHS, TEARS, DROPKICKS, and all the HOLIDAY PIZZAZZ that makes SLAM PORTAL the MOST ENTERTAINING PRO WRESTLING PROMOTION IN AUSTIN!

WINTER TAKES ALL as the PORTAL harnesses energy for a very special holiday show that will totally SLEIGH. OH DEER, TALK ABOUT THE ROYAL TREE-TMENT!

And if you haven’t been to SLAM PORTAL, you are in for a treat. One of Austin’s most immersive and actually weird forms of entertainment, our shows have boasted acts including but not limited to free doughnuts being tossed into the audience, countless broken tables, real* celebrity boy band performances, a smart car driven up to the ring, live haircuts, multiple livestock appearances, a Jonas brother, a wedding, and some of the best pro wrestling in Central Texas and the GALAXY.

CARD SUBJECT TO BANG:

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🌳 .pro
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AND MORE!

11/01/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

After his last title defense against at WHATS YOUR SIGN, Pluto Mars is ready to wreak havoc once again at EMOGEDDON! What will the ECOTERRORIST have in store for us in the beer garden of .machine.works ??!?

10/31/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

The REAL BOY returns to SLAM PORTAL! PUGGY has been 10 years old for a little under a decade now. What kind of suspended pr***en angst will we be dealing with at EMOGEDDON?!? Bad guys beware!

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10/30/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Will SPACE TIGER JR. finally RAWR XD? LOL, we are SO RANDOM!

Wait, did we post that already?

10/25/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Newly crowned baron of the portal LUCY LONESTAR is ready for a war… of emotions.

10/21/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

MOVIE MYK returns! What kind of delusional film set will he turn our EMO SLAM into?!? 🎥

10/15/2024

[JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT FREE SHOW .machine.works on SATURDAY, 11/9, 4PM-7PM]

quite literally ran into another problem in the neighborhood... and this time it was Scooter Brawn’s Brawn Scooters. After retiring from stealing Taylor Swift’s Masters, Scooter decided to go back into the family business of scooter peddling while leaving his faulty prototypes littered all over the Eastside of Austin. This didn’t ride well with Cage, who captured victory after a hard fought battle against the failed entrepreneur.

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10/04/2024

Tbc: Is it worth it, can you even hear me?

10/01/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Will SPACE TIGER JR. finally RAWR XD? LOL, we are SO RANDOM!

And for good reason! SLAM PORTAL is priming for a Myspace-core Deathmatch .machine.works that is quite a HOT TOPIC! And you can help us if you have thought to yourself: I never sold out, I evolved. Get ready for sad boi hours.

The fact is that emo music and pro wrestling are both weird poetry you don’t have to understand just so long as you throw cups at it. You will witness trial and tribulation, heartache and screaming loudly in a distinct way, a telenovela seemingly cooked from a high schoolers first break up journal. Only now you KNOW that she still works at The Brass Rail in Fort Wayne, Indiana and you run an interstellar wrestling promotion in Austin so who ACTUALLY won, Brandy?!? Your hair is everywhere, Brandy.

And if you haven’t been to SLAM PORTAL, you are in for a treat. One of Austin’s most immersive and actually weird forms of entertainment, our shows have boasted acts including but not limited to free doughnuts being tossed into the audience, countless broken tables, real* celebrity boy band performances, a smart car driven up to the ring, live haircuts, multiple livestock appearances, a Jonas brother, a wedding, and some of the best pro wrestling in Central Texas and the GALAXY.

And why not come dressed for the occasion? Skinny jeans with a Youth Medium shirt and that one belt? Super scenester? Mall goth? E-kids (now E-adults)? There are no rules anymore. Choose your adventure and have fun as you melt into our collective delusion! Or not…. sit in the back and be a… aaa (grunts and powers up)... aaa (eyes glow with the light of a thousand suns)… POSER!!!

09/22/2024

Tickets available in bio

09/21/2024

GREAT DAY FOR RASSLIN’

[JOIN US AT ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

09/19/2024

[JOIN US AT ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Have you ever looked at the stars…… oooon 🌲?

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09/16/2024

[JOIN US AT ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

HARK! We’ve received strange transmissions from the PORTAL that indicate it has selected a new HERALD! We just got the fax this morning.

Does possess the duality of wolves inside her to host us through intergalactic zodiatric COMBAT?!? And more importantly, does she PARTY?

Her preferred brand of beer suggests so!

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09/14/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

There’s NO BUSINESS like the BLOW FOR BLOW BUSINESS! Even the STARS in HOLLYWOOD have aligned for SLAM PORTAL - WHAT’S YOUR SIGN? Join us for the SP DEBUT of wrestler/billion dollar film maker (naturally) MOVIE MYK. If he has it his way, it’ll be 30K!

09/12/2024

Join us on 9/21 for the YEAR of the TIGER, the THRILL of the FIGHT!

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

09/10/2024

09/09/2024

[FULL MATCH AVAILABLE ON SLAM PORTAL YOUTUBE CHANNEL, JOIN US AT ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW]

We just want to clear things up: In no way is SLAM PORTAL responsible for an event that supposedly happened at which an adult professional wrestler threw a fire ball at an actual real boy in the ring at our last official event. We would never condone made up activities like this so we are NOT being contacted by the safety branch of CPS and our license to put on professional wrestling shows in the state of Texas is NOT under review by the Texas Athletic Commission. Thank you very much for not engaging in said rumors, nor sharing AI generated videos which may suggest otherwise.

-“Management”

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09/05/2024

[JOIN US AT HI SIGN BREWING ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW]

MUSTACHE MAFIA narrowly won a back-and-forth brawl with LOS BASTARDOS, retaining their INTER-DIMENSIONAL TAG TEAM TITLES and continuing their reign of facial herror! STAY TUNED FOR UPCOMING SLAM PORTAL EVENTS COMING SOON!

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09/03/2024

[FULL MATCH AVAILABLE ON SLAM PORTAL YOUTUBE CHANNEL, JOIN US AT HI SIGN BREWING ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW]

quite literally ran into another problem in the neighborhood... and this time it was Scooter Brawn’s Brawn Scooters. After retiring from stealing Taylor Swift’s Masters, Scooter decided to go back into the family business of scooter peddling while leaving his faulty prototypes littered all over the Eastside of Austin. This didn’t ride well with Cage, who captured victory after a hard fought battle against the failed entrepreneur.

🤼
📚
📸

08/27/2024

[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Bare witness to AUSTIN’S ONLY LIVE PRO WRESTLING SPECTACLE governed by the COSMOS! Set to be a DAWNING of AGES, a collection of CONSTELLATION POWER, a FUN GAME played by BABYLONIANS, September 21st will herald a NEW ERA OF BATTLE after the MOON THRINE MERCURY timeframe at 3:32pm Chicago Time! ***For clarity, the show starts at 7pm. But get there early, get good parking!

Consult your TAROT DECKS, prime your CRYSTAL BALLS, seek ENERGY from sacred minerals found at Nature’s Treasures Texas just off I-35! The time is now and the stars have A-CLOTHESLINED! 2024 is the year, folks. It’s already been written on countless restaurant placemats across the country; and SLAM PORTAL is ready to harness that ASTROLOGICAL AUTHORITY!

DOMINION will be in action as and SLEAZY HAVOC will no doubt utilize the trajectory of the planet to command jurisdiction of intergalactic combat (or something similar). What schemes might they set in motion with the power of the MEGA-WOLF-MODE Championship Title? Y’all, how would we know? We’re not FORTUNE TELLERS!

Will , , or have what it takes to summon the TWO SPACE WOLVES that live inside them with the mere power of a WANING GIBBOUS MOON?!? Will they create their own destiny or be woven into the fabric of a bogus predetermined reality? We’re just getting out of Mercury Retrograde and it’s not looking good, my guy…. but we’ve been wrong before!
JOIN US on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21st as we prepare to SHOOT THE MOON , which happens to be a fine establishment with great drinks for an APOCALYPTIC SHOWDOWN! Yes! Very , very !

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🎤 .bre
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🤡 .atomic.dory
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👨‍🎓
📋 .0
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08/23/2024

[FULL MATCH AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE]

We just want to clear things up: In no way is SLAM PORTAL responsible for an event that supposedly happened at which an adult professional wrestler threw a fire ball at an actual real boy in the ring at our last official event. We would never condone made up activities like this so we are NOT being contacted by the safety branch of CPS and our license to put on professional wrestling shows in the state of Texas is NOT under review by the Texas Athletic Commission. Thank you very much for not engaging in said rumors, nor sharing AI generated videos which may suggest otherwise. -“Management”

🤼‍♂️
👦
📚
📸

08/22/2024

Address

Austin, TX
78724

Website

https://slamportal.com/

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Videos

[JOIN US AT @hisignbrewing ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 7PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN] #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinprowrestling #texasprowrestling #luchalibre #austinthingstodo #austintexasthings #austintx #slamportal #austinevents #atx #austin #zodiac #tarot #tarotcards #hisignbrewing

[FULL MATCH AVAILABLE ON SLAM PORTAL YOUTUBE CHANNEL, JOIN US AT HI SIGN BREWING ON 9/21 7PM FOR A FREE WRESTLING SHOW] What a BARN BURNER! Somehow @space_tigerjr slipped out of his collar which has kept him under SLEEZY HAVOC’s control via the MEOWER GLOVE (please keep up). Upon release, he happened to make his way to @the_cock_rocker ‘s hen house, eat most of his feed, and party with his chicks. FELIX DELGATO (not a cat) managed to lure STJ back to the ring with said feed at which point COCK ROCKER and his manager teamed up with SLEEZY to ultimately ensnare STJ once again. WILL STJ EVER CLAIM HIS FREEDOM AND PARTY ON HIS OWN ACCORD???? #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinprowrestling #texasprowrestling #austinthingstodo #austintexasthings #austintx #slamportal #austinevents #atx #austin #spacetigerjr #felixdelgato#sleezyhavoc #cockrocker #cockrockerwrestler #luchalibre 📚 @vrgo_official 🎥 @colepettijohn 🧤 @bietz_by.bre

LUCHA TRES TONIGHT! @drinkbluenorther

What began as a speech of DADBOD’S disdain for people who believe in SANTA evolved into an all out FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH with SANTA CHIVA at LUCHA LIBRE DOS! After taking a grueling beating all over the BLUE NORTHER premises that included being hit with a delicious can of ranch water as well as a Christmas tree (!), SANTA CHIVA dug deep and finished DADBOD with a running shoulder tackle. Ergo, SANTA proved that he is indeed real; and the magic of Christmas is sometimes harnessed in the power of a cold steel chair. YOUCH! 📚 @derekrefbeard 🐐 @santachiva 👴 @dadbod_owns 🌵 @drinkbluenorther 🎥 @dizzynek0 #wrestling #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinwrestling #austintexas #austinthingstodo #slamportal #bluenorther #ranchwater #dadbod #dadbodowns #dadbodwrestler #santachiva #santachivapro #santa #santaclaus #christmas

Available in bio. Don’t miss out on this great deal with an OPEN BAR! Tickets will go fast!💨

🎄 🐺 HAPPY HOLIDAYS, SPACE WOLVES! 🐺 🎅 Hold your loved ones close and spread the magic (or “a-science” in some cultures) of the season to all those around you. For you never know when the wave of political economy that is Big Daddy Bolero & ASSOCIATES is going to come crashing down on you and the CANDY CANE industry. The house always wins… SAD! 📚 Derek Taylor 🌵 Blue Norther Hard Seltzer 🎥 @dizzynek0 #wrestling #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinwrestling #austintexas #austinthingstodo #slamportal #bluenorther #ranchwater #ddb #bigdaddybolero #dic #dadsincharge #candycane #candycanes #christmas

🎄 WHOA! This kind of GOAT out of hand. 🎅What began as a speech of DADBOD’S disdain for people who believe in SANTA evolved into an all out FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH with SANTA CHIVA at LUCHA LIBRE DOS! After taking a grueling beating all over the BLUE NORTHER premises that included being hit with a delicious can of ranch water as well as a Christmas tree (!), SANTA CHIVA dug deep and finished DADBOD with a running shoulder tackle. Ergo, SANTA proved that he is indeed real; and the magic of Christmas is sometimes harnessed in the power of a cold steel chair. YOUCH! 📚 @derekrefbeard🐐 Santa Chiva👴 DADBOD 🌵 Blue Norther Hard Seltzer🎥 @dizzynek0#wrestling #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinwrestling #austintexas #austinthingstodo #slamportal #bluenorther #ranchwater #dadbod #dadbodowns #dadbodwrestler #santachiva #santachivapro #santa #santaclaus #christmas

“SHUT UP, YOU FAT TURDS!” It was a battle of buttons. SLAM PORTAL’s return to Blue Norther Hard Seltzer for LUCHA LIBRE DOS! began with a BIG BANG as owner Austin Pittman activated the INTER-DIMENSIONAL GATEWAY once again for none other than Luigi Primo The best a pizza making wrestler entered the ranch water domicile with one objective… to guide us through INTERGALACTIC COMBAT! Unfortunately, MEGA-WOLF-MODE CHAMPION Plüto Mars interrupted Luigi before matches could take place with an eerie foreshadowing of events to come later in the MAIN EVENT. We are very happy to report that since the ON SWITCH installation on the portal, no blood sacrifice was made to activate it this time. VERY AWESOME and OSHA COMPLIANT! 🎥 @dizzynek0 #wrestling #prowrestling #professionalwrestling #austinwrestling #austintexas #austinthingstodo #slamportal #luigiprimo #pizza #plutomars #bluenorther #ranchwater #buttons

MORE BOD ON GOAT ACTION?!?! DAD ON DAD FIGHTING?!? Yes, in fact it’s what we SPECIALIZE in at SLAM PORTAL. It goes like THIS: DIVORCEBOD made his SLAM PORTAL debut while simultaneously accepting an award for saddest country song ever. Oh yeah, DIVORCEBOD is a country singer now. Jesus, keep up. During his acceptance speech for the song everyone knows, he explained that the inspiration for his hit was the fact that his wife left him for a GOAT! As we were all putting the pieces together regarding what seems like DIVORCEBOD’s apt 7th divorce, SANTA CHIVA burst through the portal to demand royalties for a song that was apparently about him. Well, this is awkward! There was a little back forth, and then wrestling happened. A match that seemed to span the entirety of the CENTRAL MACHINE WORKS BEER GARDEN was finalized by a DIVORCEBOD victory via the ALIMONY CLAUSE. WOW! For the sake of everything, someone find us some MOMS somewhere to clear all this up! #slamportal #comedywrestling #comedy #wrestling #prowrestling #austin #atx #divorcebod #jamieholley #jamisonholley #santachiva #santachivapro #countrymusic #texas

Help us solve the mystery of the masked singer Saturday, Match 18th at Central Machine Works!#slamportal #comedywrestling #comedy #wrestling #prowrestling #austin #atx #luigiprimo #maskedsinger #catdaddy

Hello HÜMANS! Plüto landed in the atmosphere HOT at SLAM PORTAL III: “BELT IT OUT!” after CHUCK STEAK requested that our host beckon an alien he could hunt and smoke. I guess you had to be there 🤷 Unfortunately, an injury restricted our time with Plüto at the event; and Chuck was quick to take advantage of the situation. We at SLAM PORTAL are confident that Eltarian space doctors are working on Plüto with the latest nano technology and wish him a warp drive recovery! His eventual return to SLAM PORTAL will be a momentous occasion! #slamportal #comedywrestling #comedy #wrestling #prowrestling #austin #atx #plutomars

Hello HÜMANS! PLÜTO MARS came in HOT at SLAM PORTAL III: “BELT IT OUT!” after CHUCK STEAK requested that our host beckon an alien he could hunt and smoke. I guess you had to be there 🤷 Unfortunately, an injury restricted our time with Pluto at the event. We at SLAM PORTAL are confident that Eltarian space doctors are working on PLÜTO with the latest nano technology and wish him a warp drive recovery! Central Machine Works Austin #slamportal #comedywrestling #comedy #wrestling #prowrestling #austin #atx #plutomars

SHIMMY OVER TO CENTRAL MACHINE WORKS 4PM SATURDAY, JAN 21ST FOR A FREE COMEDY WRESTLING SHOW- SLAM PORTAL III: “BELT IT OUT!” #slamportal #comedywrestling #comedy #wrestling #prowrestling #austin #atx #dic #dadsincharge #dadbod #dadbodwrestler #bestdad #bodzilla #megantheestallion