11/21/2024
How to Deal With Difficult People This Thanksgiving
Nov. 19, 2024 2 min read
By Julia @ Planned Parenthood
Visiting family for Thanksgiving can be challenging. Your dinner companions may say uninformed or upsetting things about things like abortion, s*x education, birth control, or gender-affirming care. This can feel stressful, isolating, or enraging.
So this Thanksgiving, we’re giving you some tips on how to deal:
Self care: Think about what it will take for you to feel safe, whether that means not going home at all, going home with a friend or partner by your side, or keeping your visit as short as possible — maybe just for dinner instead of an overnight stay.
Build allyship with family members who love and respect you: The more people in your family who can stand up for you and/or people who are being targeted, marginalized, or discriminated against, the better things will feel. It can feel exhausting to be the only person standing up for human rights and dignity, so there’s strength (and rest) in numbers.
Engage people in conversation: If you feel safe doing so, start with a mutual value (like freedom, respect, or love). For example, if someone says they don’t think businesses should have to cover birth control, ask why from a place of curiosity. Maybe they think business owners are people who should be free to make decisions based on their religion. You can agree that people should be free to make decisions based on their beliefs — whether you’re a CEO or an employee, everyone should have the ability to make their own personal health care decisions. You can explain how that mutual value informs your stance. Practice asking questions, finding a value in their sentiment you can agree on, and starting from there. This is hard work, but it gets easier with practice.