Once Upon a Time….
There was a girl. She heard from a co-worker about a type of dance. He called it West Coast Swing. “Hey” he said, “You should come take lessons. It’s a lot of fun.” He took the girl first to a Country Bar where she discovered she could sort of do this dance. “Wow,” she exclaimed this IS a lot of fun! The girl wanted to know more…
She worked herself through, Beginning, Intermediate and Advanced Classes. She had a lot of natural talent for dance and music. She met many people and attended all the social activities offered by the studio where she was learning. It was a lot of Fun!. However, the dance itself felt robotic and stiff but her social world was growing with many friends and fun activities. Then friends suggested we go to this particular bar and meet to dance.
The girl stepped in the door and saw an older crowd, surely they had to be in their 50’s. But they were moving and grooving to the most amazing music the girl had come across thus far. Blues it was called. The place was dark and maybe a bit seedy. A bar, vinyl upholstered booths, a dance floor and a DJ. The music struck her, I mean really struck her, then the movement, struck her.
She immediately recognized and exclaimed, “Oh” this is how it is supposed to “FEEL” and “LOOK” She was awe struck by the many dancers. Dancers who, she learned brought this dance forward from the 40’s into the 50’s and 60’s. “Cocktail Lounge Dancers” she thought. Reminding her of a 60’s almost beatnik vibe. The dancing was different but yet the same.
She danced there a lot because this “DJ guy” was inspiring her to move differently than any other music had ever moved her.
The dancers and the Dj in the Cocktail Lounge embraced her, exclaiming “You are talented.” They pushed her forward with compliments and welcomed the girl into their world. There was a couple, regulars at the Cocktail Lounge who ran a contest in Anaheim. The man said, “You should compete in the Showcase division with my then, social dance partner. “ What is the Showcase division” she asked. Well it’s for Showy dancers like you and your partner.
So, she did…
With little knowledge of what they signed up for, they put together a hand-made costume and tried to memorize steps to a song. They entered the contest. “Whoa,”…the girl said when she saw the other competitors, “I’m in over my head.” Not a quitter, they did the best they could and did not make it to the final round but she was inspired to get better.
Later the next year, the Dj guy said, “Hey you should dance with this guy, a regular at the cocktail lounge, “I can coach you and choreograph a routine for you.” So, she did…
She worked twice a week for 6 months, learning lifts and choreography for a routine and laughing a lot while learning. You see, this DJ guy, a great dancer and coach, was pretty good at comedy too, with Lenny Bruce as his inspiration. He was a joke teller, sometimes a bit on the dirty side of comedy for sure. But we became great friends. And, oh by the way, the girl and her partner happened to win the Showcase Division the following year at that same annual contest.
Over the next year, a very handsome dancer entered her picture. He just happened to be the winner of the two previous years of the annual contest. Having ended his partnership, he approached the girl. Saying his Dad, also an old-time dancer from the 40’s, told him “You should dance with her, she has nice legs.” So, she did….
She fell in love with her new partner. He told her, “Doing a routine you must spend time like we are married.” For 6 months, they spent almost every day together, practicing, getting coaching, learning lifts and steps, and making love. He was a hard worker, an athlete. He instilled the value of what it means to not just dance but to be an “athlete” That next year they won the Showcase division at that same annual contest. It was bittersweet for the girl. The partner handed back her keys to her house the following day. She thought they were in love and in a relationship that would continue forever. But it was really a dance partnership first, she discovered. They continued as dance partners and part time lovers for 6 years achieving much dance success and notoriety and expanding their world to include many long lasting “dance” friendships across the states where they traveled to “other” dance contests.
Wanting more in the way of meaningful love, the girl decided to release the “Peter Pan” she had come to love. She wrote a letter to “herself”, explaining that she deserved to have a permanent, meaningful, and long-lasting relationship that would include a real marriage. She asked whomever was in charge for help.
A month later, that person, entered her life. Someone was listening. The girl could not believe that asking for what she needed and deserved would be that simple. As most of her world was the dance community, it was not surprising that he would arrive this way. He lived in another state. She would see him and dance with him. He was “a lot of fun” his moves, unexpected and quirky. After one, she would ask him for 20 more. He started to travel to visit the ever so popular club in her town where everyone who was someone loved to dance mostly because that same DJ guy played the best music you would ever want to here. It was a special place and a special time of great dancers and dancing. She loved it when he came to town to dance. She could not get enough.
The girl invited him to stay at her place when he next came to town. They developed a special friendship. He was a gentleman, quite funny, intelligent, well educated, well-spoken, spiritual, a gift sent directly from heaven she thought. This is what she asked for and received. They fell in love. He decided to move to her state. He told her, he was coming there to be with her and his intention was marriage. Dialog she longed to hear from a man she loved. After 6 months or so he asked her to marry him. So, she did…
This amazing guy and fun dancer had no desire to compete, had never really competed in a routine but the girl was a “Champion” and she was not ready to throw in the towel. Ultimately, he realized that making her happy was important. They began to develop who they were to become as a dance partnership. It took some time. Together, both creative and talented, and having a common musical upbringing, they shared their love of music and dance and love for each other. They merged their unique styles and became a unique partnership. They were teachers of the dance, an inspiration to others, coaches, choreographers, judges, and performers. They competed together and became champions in their own right. He was loved by all who knew him. They took on leadership roles in the community helping to shape its future. They decided to give their voice to that annual contest and join with a substantial monetary and long emotional investment.
Their lifetime of love would last for 17 wonderful years until it was over. The heaven that delivered this special man to the girl needed him back for reasons unknown. The girl was left alone and broken.
But alone is a state of mind. She realized there was a big family, the dance family who embraced her in the beginning was there to lift her back up and pick up the broken pieces. All she needed to do was reach out. They embraced her in her new life role as an individual. Something she did not want to be but now had to be.
The girl had deep rooted pain. The pain of loss, emptiness, and loneliness. How could she go on? But she did. Living angels stepped in to pick her up. They surrounded her, loved her, and embraced her.
She knew that people were the key to going forward. She felt vulnerable, for who was she alone without him? She began again by inviting a small group of friends over to dance. The community began to offer her teaching and judging jobs as an individual, something that felt awkward, like her right arm was missing. She felt only half of a whole. She returned to her mentor in dance and spent the next 10 years in study of the dance she loved. She began to feel whole and complete as an individual teacher.
She worked through the pain with dance and music with a long-time trusted dance friend with whom her dance sole connected with over many years.
They became close. Never in a million years was this meant to be more than friendship. But alas, the universe had something else in mind for the girl, once again. We don’t know why we are led in the directions we go. Paths cross at various times and for this girl, destiny once again stepped in to change her path. She married her long-time friend, began teaching with him and continues to dance and live a happy West Coast Swing life and is blesses with a wonderful and devoted man.
The girl, feeling uninspired as of late and over the politics of dance, decided to learn to play music for other dancers and DJ. This has renewed her love for the dance through her love of music. Just like the “DJ guy” who brought endless dancing memories to her and so many, she hopes to bring joy to dancers through music that feeds their sole and makes you want to social dance to great music whatever the genre.
This was not meant to be a sad story of a girl. And perhaps this did not actually sound like a West Coast Swing Story but yet it is.
Maybe the point is, that all who live in this dance community and have seen its growth, or growing pains, some for the better and some not so much, we all have our own story. There is the good, the bad, the ugly but we must all remember that we started this for fun. We have walked paths with each other and will continue until we are no more. Least we never forget the joy dance has brought to us and to your own personal West Coast Swing Story however long or short.
The girl wants everyone to know. The dance she learned in her beginnings is the same dance she has done for 37 years. The dance did not change. Life changed. Friends and loved ones came and went. Music changed along the way, her styling changed to fit the music, her movement changed, her knowledge expanded, she got much better technically with time. But the dance is still the same. It has a lovely name, West Coast Swing. We are able to dance with each other based on an established curriculum and rules of engagement. The dance has an identity. We can express the dance to the music liberally within the foundation and with each partner we engage, never repeating it the same. Every exact moment, happens only once. We are so lucky to have this beautiful social dance. It’s given me a life, wonderful friends, and 2 amazing husbands and pleasure beyond belief. I hope you enjoy it while you can. Let it be what it is. It’s not broke. It has always worked itself out in all its musical and stylistic ebbs and flows.
June 26, 2019
