15/04/2024
âI am never. Never. Doing that again.â
Those words fell from my mouth as I crawled into my 4Runner and tossed my 5D and 28mm (with no auto focus!!!) into the passenger seat. I had just shot my first wedding and felt like an absolute failure. My expectations going into the day had been minimal. âMaybe Iâll set up a fun shot of the groomsmen and then just be there to capture whatever happens.â I had no idea how hands on being a photographer was. I had no idea that Iâd essentially need to run the day. I wasnât assertive. I wasnât creative. I didnât have the right gear. And I had no idea how a wedding day was supposed to go or where I needed to be and when.
Spoiler alert. I did another wedding. And another. And another. Until eventually there was a consistent flow of requests and I found myself, a biochem major medical school reject, shooting weddings of all things. But over time, I learned how to step up and lead, how to calm a room full of nervous bridesmaids as rain clouds rolled in, how to adjust my camera settings as lighting shifted wildly, how to flex that creative side of my brain a bit more, and how to plan appropriately so that when the day came, I was ready for whatever came up.
But almost 150 weddings later, I no longer climb into my car after the sparkler exit feeling like a failure. Now, I pack up my pelican case full of more gear than I need, say goodbye to some new friends, and take a deep (exhausted) breath as I select my drive home music vibe and think, âI love this job.â
