01/03/2023
Hi there, everyone. I apologize for the lack of updates, as several things have happened over the last few months that have monopolized both my time and my energy in ways I didn’t anticipate. To be frank, I have been dreading today for many, many years.
Today I finally have the strength and the support to come forward with my story. Since 2009, I have been harassed and stalked. My stalker is my ex-boyfriend, who repeatedly assaulted me during the course of our relationship. Over these last fourteen years, I have been terrified & looking over my shoulder at conventions and on the street, for fear of being assaulted again. My story has been met with ridicule and disbelief for far too long.
This person used his position as staff at conventions to follow me around, make comments on my appearance and body, and has made me feel unsafe in my own community, and I am not the only one. He has been banned from at least one convention due to six separate harassment reports. Several other conventions have open investigations currently ongoing. I have had to avoid going to conventions I know he is at, including Further CONfusion, Biggest Little Fur Con, BABScon, and FanimeCon. I have moved out of the Bay Area altogether for fear of running into him on the street.
I’ve been afraid of speaking out about all of this for fear of damaging my career and causing undue harm to the people I care about. Unfortunately, recent events have tipped my hand.
In May of 2018, I made a report about an incident at FanimeCon, where this person had abused his position to get close to me and make inappropriate comments. The difference this time is that I had the support of my friends, without whom I would not have had the strength or courage to make this report. I was told by the then-head of ConOps that FanimeCon took these kinds of reports seriously, I was not the only one who had complained about this person or even this event, and that I would hear back from the convention within a month.
I wouldn’t hear back from anyone until I sent an email to FanimeCon’s chair team three months later. Even then, it was “I will look into it” from the then-head of FanimeCon.
In March of 2019, I finally got a response from the Chair team- A member of his chain of command… talked to my stalker about the incident.
That was the end of it.
As I had obligations and a budding career to look after, I made the mistake of returning to Fanime that year. I spent the entire convention terrified and holed up in one place, keeping friends close by and avoiding being alone, even in the bathroom. I told myself, and anyone who would listen, really, that I would not return to FanimeCon.
Then, the pandemic hit. Conventions stopped happening. For two whole years, I didn’t go to conventions. It felt like I could breathe again. I was asked to return to Fanime by my friends, and I agreed to come back.
In 2022, FanimeCon made its return- I felt as though enough time had passed that maybe, maybe this convention would be different. It wasn’t. Once again, my stalker abused his position as staff to corner me in Idris’ closet, a place I was told he was not allowed to be in. It was only due to the intervention of a friend and the quick response of other staffers that I was able to get out without having to speak to him. I immediately went to once again file a report, and during this time I was told by several of Fanime’s division and department heads that this was the final straw, and that my stalker would be removed of his position.
I made plans to return to Fanime in 2023 with this knowledge.
Unfortunately, this was not to be the case. Despite being told that there have been several meetings with Fanime’s Board of Directors, Chair Team, and heads of his Department, my stalker has been invited to return to Fanime with what appears to be open arms.
In a meeting I attended in early February of this year, I was told that in order to remove my stalker from his position as (volunteer, bottom level) staff, it would require the approval of Fanime’s Board of Directors. Not only is this a weak excuse to protect and enable my stalker, but raises a dangerous question about FanimeCon’s ability to believe and protect its attendees and staff from harassment and abuse.
To this day, my stalker is still on Fanime’s 2023 staff roster. I have been told by department and division heads that they too have requested this person be removed from staff, and have been denied.
I have to wonder whether FanimeCon truly is a safe space for its attendees. Their code of conduct is woefully vague and any attempt to change it has been met with resistance and miles of red tape. Others I have talked to have had their harassment and assaults at FanimeCon outright denied or ignored completely.
It is with all of this that I regret to say I cannot return to FanimeCon until they rectify their issues with their Code of Conduct and clean up their act regarding harassment, beginning with removing my stalker from their staff.
Cosplay is Not Consent is no longer enough, this industry needs sweeping changes in order to survive without being a safe haven for predatory abusers. Please join me in boycotting FanimeCon this year, and every year that they refuse to change.
If you have also had issues of harassment from a staff member of FanimeCon and would like to share your story, please email me: [email protected]. I would be happy to forward it to Fanime’s Chair team.
For more resources or information about harassment at conventions, please visit The Cosplayer Survivor Support Network at :
