Rabbi4NYC

22/09/2025

29 Elul 5785/September 22, 2025

Rabbi Brian Leiken

In my last congregation, I sparred good-naturedly with a congregant named Vlad over politics. He once called me a socialist. I countered with my own barbs. But no matter how lively the exchange, we ended with a hug and a laugh. Our bond ran deeper than our disagreements.

After he passed away, I spoke with his daughter Elena. She told me his political convictions had been shaped by his years in the Soviet Union, where government was feared, trust was scarce, and survival meant skepticism. Hearing that, I understood him in a new way. What once felt like stubbornness now felt like lived truth. My respect for him only grew.

The Mishnah speaks of makhloket l’shem shamayim, disagreement for the sake of Heaven. For Vlad and me, our debates were not about winning but about learning from each other. Even when we could not agree, we were still engaged in the same sacred task: seeking a truth larger than either of us could see alone.

This Elul, I remember Vlad and the way our arguments pushed me to listen more closely and think more deeply. May we all enter the new year willing to stay at the table with those who see the world differently, open to the possibility that in the space between our views, truth might be waiting.

21/09/2025

28 Elul 5785/September 21, 2025

Rabbi Daniel Fellman

One of my favorite Jewish words can be found in Talmud. Teku, a legal term, teaches much not just in terms of Jewish law, but even more, in Jewish life.

Talmud overflows with disagreement. One side argues their case, the other responds and on it goes. Most of the time the issue is resolved, noting that the Halacha, Jewish law, follows the views of this or that rabbi.

But ever so rarely, no one wins. Instead, the rabbis of the Talmud declare “Teku.” Neither side is declared winner or loser. The issue lives on as a draw.

What a refreshing response to our world! Imagine what it might be like to see things in ‘both and’ form instead of ‘either or.’ Imagine what it might feel like to recognize multiple truths at the same time, rather than accepting one and rejecting others!

Teku teaches a different lesson. Instead of seeing life as an endless competition, Teku calls us to see this and that are both the words of the living God—Eilu v’Eilu Divrei Elohim Chayim.

On the High Holy Days, we are called to account for the year just ended and dream of the one just beginning. We can look at the whole thing as wins and losses if we choose.

Or we can embrace this one word from our tradition and see that each of us contains multiple truths, each of us discovers continuously, and on some level, each of us remains filled with contradictions.

And all of it is holy.

19/09/2025

As we prepare for the final Shabbat of 5785, on the threshold of our New Year which begins on Monday night, I share with you this gifted d'var Torah written by my friend and colleague, Rabbi Josh Weinberg, who serves as both Vice President of the URJ for Israel & Reform Zionism, and Executive Director of ARZA. His essays on the state of Israel more than often align with my own personal views. This message could serve as my HHD sermon... and I might just leave it as that this year... Shabbat Shalom and Shanah Tovah.

September 18 2025 Rosh Hashanah, Sparta, and the New Jew Josh Weinberg Uncategorized Friday September 18, 2025 – כ״ו אֱלוּל תשפ”ה There is a memorable and jarring scene in the 2006 Israeli movie “Sweet Mud”/ “אדמה משוגעת” in which the main character, 12-Year-Old Dv...

19/09/2025

26 Elul 5785/September 19, 2025

On Fridays, we email two Elul Thoughts, out of respect for those of us who choose not to look at email on Shabbat. We wish you a blessed and restful Shabbat and hope you continue finding inspiration in our Elul Thoughts.

Rabbi Eric Linder

2 Jews, 3 opinions.

This popular quip amongst Jews reflects our argumentative nature. Whether it’s the right way to light Chanukah candles, the best texture for Matzah Balls, or matters of Jewish halachah, debating and argument is a fundamental part of Jewish identity.

We often say this sentence in a self-deprecating way. But during this period of Elul, I want to suggest that the best way to argue is so that when there are two Jews, there are three opinions.

When we have an argument for the sake of God’s name, for the purpose of learning, we do indeed have three opinions:

1 - The opinion you have.

2 - The opinion that I have.

3 - The opinion that we have after listening to and learning from one another.

Yes indeed, 2 Jews, 3 opinions.



27 Elul 5785/September 20, 2025

Rabbi David N. Young

I used to get so excited when the monthly issue of X-Men or Batman was in 3-D. It would be wrapped in plastic, and in the bag with the comicbook one could find a pair of 3-D glasses. You know the kind–cheap white cardboard with a blue lens on one side and a red lens on the other. When we put the 3-D glasses on, the images jumped out at us from the page. What a fun, vibrant, beautiful way to read a comicbook!

Today when I see red and blue in separate lenses it no longer elicits excitement and anticipation of an amazing reading experience. Today red and blue seem like they can only work against each other, each one trying to out-cheat the other, each one using disgusting tactics and exploiting legal loopholes until the people we have chosen to run our country are instead running it into the ground.

And yet, I do believe that there is a way for red and blue to work together again, like those old 3-D glasses. I have faith in a people who can vote out the game players and elect hard working leaders who truly have an agenda for all Americans and not just the ones reading through the lens that voted them in.

May we soon arrive at the day when red and blue work together to make our world vibrant, exciting, and beautiful again.

18/09/2025

25 Elul 5785/September 18, 2025

Rabbi Kelly Levy

I have always had a deep-seated need to be right. Not because I think I know more than others, but because I love the satisfaction of knowing I had the correct answer all along. When challenged, I dig in. I defend my position. I stop hearing other points. Being right becomes more important than learning something new.

But this kind of arguing serves no higher purpose. In fact, it stunts my growth. Machloket l’shem shamayim calls us to go beyond ourselves, beyond pride. It invites us to see an argument as a bridge, not a battlefield — a chance to hear another person’s experience, to be changed by it, and maybe to change them in return. Machloket l’shem shamayim values arguments motivated by the pursuit of truth, growth, and connection rather than ego or victory. It’s a beautiful ideal.

I think of Stephen Fry’s reminder: “One of the greatest human failings is to prefer to be right rather than to be effective.” For me, being effective means choosing curiosity over certainty, connection over conquest. The next time I feel my heels digging in, I’ll ask: Am I trying to be right… or to seek what’s right?

Because in the end, winning an argument fades quickly — but learning from one can last a lifetime.

17/09/2025

24 Elul 5785/September 17, 2025

Rabbi Batsheva Appel

What is a “dispute for the sake of Heaven”? Is that designation only for weighty matters? Is it possible for something as simultaneously meaningful and trivial as Marvel versus DC or Star Trek versus Star Wars to also be disputes “for the sake of Heaven”?

Some commentaries to Pirkei Avot 5:17 would indicate that the designation is for serious matters such as halakhah, Jewish law, or Torah. Bartenura’s commentary notes that the goal was to arrive at the truth.

Another definition is based on the way opponents conduct themselves. In the Talmud a three-year dispute between the students of Shammai and the students of Hillel is ended when a bat kol, a heavenly voice, intervenes, and sides with Hillel. Why?

It is because the students of Hillel were kind and gracious. They taught their own ideas as well as the ideas from the students of Shammai. Furthermore, they even taught Shammai's opinions first (Eruvin 13b:10-11).

Their argument was conducted with an attitude of respect, a curiosity about counter arguments, and a desire to learn.

Arguments about sports teams or movies are seemingly trivial. Yet, I would categorize them as disputes “for the sake of Heaven”, depending on approach. How can we learn without practice? Examples of arguing for the sake of arguing or for the sake of power are legion. Engaging in disputes with respect for our opponent, curiosity, and passion requires practice. Something to consider when we disagree about the small stuff that everyone is passionate about.

16/09/2025

23 Elul 5785/September 16, 2025

Rabbi Emma Gottlieb

There is a teaching about several verses that appear to be in dialogue between Eicha (Lamentations), which we read on Tisha B’av, and the first Haftarah of Comfort, read on the Shabbat immediately afterward (called Shabbat Nachamu, the Shabbat of Comfort). Where Eicha (1:9) proclaims, “There is no one to comfort Jerusalem,” the prophet Isaiah remarks (40:1), “Take comfort my people!” Eicha depicts the roads of Zion in mourning (1:4), and Isiah calls out, “Clear a path for God!” (40:3). Eicha describes how the exiles, “walk without strength,” yet Isaiah reminds us, “God gives strength to the weary … those who trust in God will be strengthened" (40:29,31).

Isaiah's words respond directly to the pain of Eicha, intending to comfort the exiles. Thousands of years later, his words can also bring us comfort. Our tradition has long understood the power and importance of hope. In the darkest of times, our faith that things will improve has kept us alive. Perhaps this is why we read haftarot of consolation in the 10 weeks leading up to the Days of Awe. If we are engaged in the hard work of introspection, we may be feeling low. Can we really change? Can our world be repaired? The comfort offered by the prophet is meant to be a balm – after darkness, comes light; After destruction, comes rebuilding. If we feel weary, our faith can bring us strength. So long as we have hope, we can continue on.

15/09/2025

22 Elul 5785/September 15, 2025

Rabbi Stephen Wise

I was in Israel with my wife this summer, and despite the ongoing conflict in Gaza and the threat of missile attacks, the country was vibrant and full of life. People often asked us why we chose to vacation there during such a tense time. Our answer was simple: Why not? Israel is our homeland. We wanted to witness the reality firsthand, support the local economy, and help in any way we could. We were struck by the resilience and spirit of everyday life. In Be’er Sheva, we joined our twin congregation Ramot Shalom for Tisha B’Av. After prayers, we reflected on the tragedies of Jewish history—the destruction of the Temples—and couldn’t help but draw parallels to today. Then it was senseless hatred among fellow Jews that led to our downfall. Today, conflict continues though we are not powerless and will not be exiled from our homeland ever again. We ended our trip with two incredible concerts, two different sides of Israel reflecting two parallel realities. The first was HaKeves HaShisha Asar (“The Sixteenth Sheep”), a beloved children’s album from 1978 brought to life by iconic Israeli musicians. The sing-along felt like a warm embrace across generations, a crowd filled with peaceniks. The next night, we saw Omer Adam—Israel’s pop sensation. He called out to Israel to continue to fight until Hamas is defeated to applause and cheers. No one has all the answers despite everyone having an opinion, but surrounded by thousands of fans singing and dancing under the night sky, we felt the enduring pulse of Israel’s vibrant culture.

14/09/2025

21 Elul 5785/September 14, 2025

Rabbi Judith Siegal

Playing games and reconnecting in the new year - for the sake of heaven

In a time when there is so much division in our society, disagreements with those we know and love are almost inevitable. Whether it is about Israel, politics, or something else, we are in a time of great change, and there will be — and should be — robust debate. The challenge is to keep our machloket “l’shem shamayim,” for the sake of Heaven, and not just to prove we are right.

One way is to focus on trying to understand and learn instead of to win. For those of us who like to win and be competitive, this is a hard shift. But much like learning a new game, sometimes we have to put away our competitive nature and take a learner’s stance instead. This mindset — what the rabbis call anavah (humility) — is praised throughout Jewish tradition.

In the world of games, winning can be sweet — but in the world of relationships, a gracious loss can be even sweeter. In other words, real strength is not in crushing an opponent, but in choosing restraint, humility, and love — the kind of victory that builds relationships instead of breaking them.

As we enter Elul, the month of preparation for the High Holy Days, may we remember that in the game of life, God does not count our wins, but the ways we repair, forgive, and strengthen the bonds between us.

12/09/2025

19 Elul 5785/September 12, 2025

On Fridays, we email two Elul Thoughts, out of respect for those of us who choose not to look at email on Shabbat. We wish you a blessed and restful Shabbat and hope you continue finding inspiration in our Elul Thoughts.



Rabbi Laurence Malinger

This summer, I’ve been blessed to step away from my usual congregational role and serve full-time as an intern at a local funeral home. It’s been one of the most intense and meaningful experiences of my career. As we enter the month of Elul—a time for reflection and return—I’ve been thinking about the phrase makhloket l’shem shamayim—a disagreement for the sake of Heaven.

Planning a funeral brings families face-to-face with overwhelming emotions—and sometimes with difficult decisions. Where should the burial take place? Should the ceremony be traditional or more personal? Should a rabbi or cantor be present? Do we wait for everyone to gather, or bury quickly? Do we sit shiva? These questions often spark tension—not because people don’t care, but because they care deeply.

Over the years, and especially this summer, I’ve learned that even painful disagreements can be rooted in love. When we call it a disagreement for the sake of Heaven, we acknowledge that behind every opinion is a heart grieving, remembering, and trying to honor someone who mattered deeply.

I often tell families: you may not see things the same way, but you’re all here because you loved the same person. That love is sacred. That love is what endures. If we can listen to one another with kindness and humility, even in our pain, we can make room for healing—and for holiness.

May your choices bring comfort and may the memory of your loved one be for a blessing.



20 Elul 5785/September 13, 2025

Rabbi David N. Young



My brother-in-law recently discovered that one of his neighbors is a Holocaust denier. To make matters worse, he found out while he was riding in this person’s car, on a three-hour leg of a road trip.

My wife and her brother are children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. We make sure our children know about the history of the horrors committed against the Jewish people and others. We take teens to Holocaust museums every year to bear witness so the stories will never be lost. The idea that someone could deny that it happened at all feels like they are demanding that up is down, and there is no convincing them out of it. My brother-in-law was frustrated even relaying the story to us because there was no satisfying conclusion. In the end he told his neighbor that they should talk about other things.

In order to successfully argue l'shem shamayim, we must be fully informed both about what we know and about what they are learning. When someone flat out denies facts that we know are true, there is little we can do. Arming ourselves with information is the best defense against the ignorance of those swayed too far toward ignorance by misinformation, half-truths, and outright lies. While we are not responsible for the knowledge of others, we do have the ability to teach them gently when they use lies against us. And sometimes the solution is to talk about other things.

11/09/2025

18 Elul 5785/September 11, 2025

Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker

Sometimes Rabbinic debates get really dark. In one of the more humbling, profound, and challenging debates, Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai argue about whether or not God should have created people (Eruvin 13b). They argued for two and a half years over the merits and failings of humanity! Stop… Pause… What would your arguments be in favor? Against?

And the side that wins out: it would have been better for us not to exist. Take that in for a moment. Whether you are surprised or not, whether you agree or not - what a devastating conclusion!

The conversation continues with the understanding that we obviously do exist – so now what? In good Jewish fashion, our Rabbis offer two answers. The first is to closely examine our past actions. The second is to carefully consider our intentions and values. These complementary ideas speak to major aspects of the Yamim Noraim/Days of Awe.

Let’s say we take this teaching to heart. God’s creation would have been better if there were no human beings. Collectively, we give in to our yetzer hatov/evil inclination too often and the whole world feels the consequences. And because we have been given this gift of life - because we are here… can we make our ancient Rabbis reconsider? Can I, can we, live our lives so that we are worthy of having been created?

We won’t be perfect - we will fall short. And striving for “yes” - that’s our sacred struggle.

10/09/2025

17 Elul 5785/September 10, 2025

Rabbi Deana Sussman Berezin

Making a Heart of Many Rooms

I used to love to debate – to challenge and to be challenged. I loved examining issues from different angles, turning them over through verbal sparring, allowing them to influence, change, or sharpen my perspectives. But, in recent months, I find myself retreating from debate, afraid it will become a battle rather than a friendly parry.

Ours is a world of polarization and mistrust. Against this backdrop, I continue to grapple with what it means to be in real relationship with others, even when they do not share our beliefs. How do we move from distrust and contempt into mutual respect?

In Judaism, we use the framework of machloket l’shem shemayim. But this concept, that we argue for the sake of heaven, only works when both parties come with deep respect for one another and a belief that more than one thing can be true.

The Rabbis of the Tosefta offer us guiding wisdom: “make for yourself a heart of many rooms,” whereby we can bring multiple truths into our many chambers and determine for ourselves what we believe, recognizing that there may be more than one truth.

Engaging in debate can and should be for the sake of something higher and holier – for the sake of heaven. Holding space for multiple truths and becoming open and vulnerable enough to allow those truths to move us, does not make us weak and it does not mean we’ve lost the debate. Quite the opposite – it means that we’ve all won.