Two Scoops Combo

18/07/2024

Dance your tootsies off this Saturday Night 7/20/24 with Two Scoops Combo and Northwest Dance at the Leif Erickson Ballroom in Ballard! Dance lesson at 7:30 pm, Music from 8:00 -11:00 pm

26/06/2024

Mountain of Work

Animals that don’t work are raised to be eaten
Or used as pets or breeders
People that don’t work are raised to be
Ungratefully fussy eaters

Ideas that don’t work become dogma
False beliefs and oppressive laws
Inventions that don’t work become devices
With built in fatal flaws

Minds that don’t work become
Television watchers and gluttons
Brains that don’t work become
Ignorant pushers of buttons

Once you find your calling
Whatever you do, don't shirk
Because no one amounts to a hill of beans
Without a mountain of work

© 2013 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

26/06/2024

Looking at the End

We're looking at the end
And it doesn't look good
Things aren't working out
The way we hoped they would

We haven't been happy
In oh so very long
Even the cat knows something's
Oh so very wrong

You've been pretending to try
And I've been trying to pretend
But we're both realizing
That we're looking at the end

The plans have been put in place
The papers have been signed
This has been has been had
But he hasn't changed his mind

Our final destination
Is just around the bend
We've reached the event horizon
And we're looking at the end

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

18/06/2024

Saturday 6/22 Two Scoops Combo Place Commons 7:00 PM

08/06/2024

08/06/2024

The Flower Lady Blues

She’s the flower lady
She grows, cuts, sells and loves them too
But when they wilt, and they always do
She starts get the flower lady blues

She's the flower lady
I'm sure your farmers market has one too
Go ahead and buy some flowers
Don't let her get the flower lady blues

I buy my lady flowers
Each and every week
If I stop now
She'll think I’m getting cheap

I see the other husbands
In hot water all the time
But I never seem to get
In any trouble with mine

Because the flower lady
Arranges the blossoms one by one just right
And their fragrance on the nightstand
Helps us sleep like babies every night

© 2019 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

07/06/2024

QUEEN OF THE BIRDS

I flew a magic carpet
To the queen of the birds
She taught me the avian language
And the meaning of the words

Now I understand the sparrow
The robin and the crow
I feed them bread and suet
And they tell me all they know

They tell me about the world
Above the trees and power lines
And complain about the kitty cats
Who kill them all the time

I harmonized her melodies
And versified her words
When I flew a magic carpet
To the queen of the birds.

Eric "Two scoops" Moore

29/05/2024

The Angry River

I tried to swim
To the other side
Of an angry river
Deep and wide

The current caught me
And carried me out
Into an ocean
Of fear and doubt

And then I sank
Into the depths
To rust among
The other wrecks

That tried and failed
To get across
Written off
As total loss

But at lest I didn't
Quail and quiver
When it was time to cross
That angry river

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

28/05/2024

I’m Here With Matilda

I’m here with Matilda
I fight for her name
I’m here to shield her
From dishonor and shame

I’m here with Matilda
I’m sworn to protect her
From those who don’t know how
To love and respect her

Matilda Matilda
Please never fear
Your name will be cherished
For thousands of years

I’m here with Matilda
Right here in this poem
I’m here with Matilda
Matilda is my home

Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

28/05/2024

I’m Scared

I’m scared
Of what the future holds
Of too much heat or cold
Of my ideas growing old
Of things that I’ve been told
Like a sheep without a fold
I’m scared

I’m afraid
Of the approach of night
Of losing my insight
Of my diminishing might
Of confusing wrong from right
That I may die of fright
I’m afraid

I fear
Of losing what I hold dear
Of words I overhear
That the end is very near
Of the course that I must steer
Of running low on beer
I fear

© 2013 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

27/05/2024

There's beauty in your face

There's beauty in your face
Unlike any other
Its something you got
From your father and mother

Your nose may be crooked
And your ears may stick out
But you nearly always smile
And you very seldom pout

You don't need a procedure
Just because your right eye droops
You would be just perfect
For my old friend, Two Scoops

There"s beauty in your face
Please don't change a thing
I'd banish plastic surgeons
If I woke up as King

A man with a knife
Can never give you grace
And you don't need stinking Botox
There's beauty in your face

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

27/05/2024

GOOD COOKING MAN

You don’t have to be good looking
If you’re a good cooking man
You’ll never need to panhandle
If you know your way around a pot and a pan
Today’s hard working women have no time to cook
All you need to know you can read in a book
You don’t have to be good looking
If you’re a good cooking man

You don’t have to learn to bake
Let her bring home the cake
But modern women expect a guy
To know how to roast, broil, grill, and fry
Now that they have those competitive jobs
They don’t have to put up us with lazy slobs
se your head, save some bread
Stay home with her and cook instead

Tell her your making her something fine
Let her bring home some wine
Light the candle, pop the cork
Don’t forget to polish her fork
When she tastes what you prepare
You can look like a troll and she wont care
So take Two Scoops advice
Cook your lady something nice

© 2012 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

26/05/2024

Sweetheart Don't Fart

Sweetheart
Don’t fart
When my mom
Is here

Don’t smoke
Don’t curse
Or drink too
Much beer

It's only once a year
That she comes around
And we don't want her to think
That I married down

So sweetheart
Don't fart
Or drink too
Much beer

Don't curse
Don't smoke
While my mom
Is here

Please wait until after she goes
Then fart away
Get drunk
And pick your nose

© 2008 Eric “ Two Scoops” Moore

26/05/2024

Happy for each other

We're happy for each other.
You found someone new
We're happy for each other
And I did too
You're happy for me
And I'm happy for you
We're happy for each other

We're happy for each other.
Our separation was successful
We're happy for each other
Our marriage was so stressful
I'm living in my truck
And you're back with your mother
We're happy for each other

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

19/05/2024

My baby is smarter

My baby is smarter than the little red hen
She picked me over all the other men
She baked me bread last year
now I’m back again
My baby is smarter than the little red hen

My baby is smarter than Minnie Mouse
She threw Tom and Jerry out of the house
She divorced her last husband
Because he was a louse
My baby is smarter than Minnie Mouse

My baby smarter than Wilma Flintstone
She kicked Fred out and took me in her home
We go out for triceratops ribs and give Dino the bones
My baby issmarter than Wilma Flintstone

My baby is smarter than Betty Boop
She loves me, even though my belly droops
She made a household name out of old Two Scoops
My babies smarter than Betty Boop

My baby is smarter and Betty Rubble
She cuts my hair and shaves my stubble
She's got a lawyer on retainer in case I get into trouble
My baby is smarter than Betty Rubble

My baby is smarter than Penelope Pitstop
I never get tickets because she knows all the cops
When were rocking and rolling she never stops
My baby is smarter than Penelope Pitstop

My baby is smarter than loudmouth Lucy
She cooks me steaks, thick and juicy
She loves to go out, and do the Watusi
My baby is smarter than loudmouth Lucy

My baby smarter than Olive Oil
When she gets jealous, her blood starts to boil
She keeps my leftover spinach in aluminum foil
My baby is smarter than olive oil

My baby is smarter than a little Bo Peep
She chose me over all the other creeps
She doesn't do anything on the cheap
My baby is smarter than a little Bo Peep

My baby smarter than Little Miss Muffet
She takes things easy she don't like to tough it
She had an ex-husband, but she told him the stuff it
My baby is smarter than little Miss Muffet

My baby is smarter than Snow White
She won't let me in the house unless I treat her right
I know enough to let her win every fight
My baby is smarter than Snow White

My baby is smarter than Sleeping Beauty
She keeps me around because I do my duty
She knows I'm crazy about her shapely b***y
My baby is smarter than Sleeping Beauty

My baby is smarter than Red Riding Hood
She dumped her last husband Because he was no good
She's a smartest woman in the neighborhood
My baby smarter than Red Riding Hood

My baby is smarter than Goldilocks
She won't iron my shirts, or darn my socks
I know she only loves me because I have a big heart
My baby is smarter than Goldilocks

My baby smarter than the tooth fairy
She made me sign a prenup before we got married
She trained me well to fetch and carry
My baby is smarter than the tooth fairy

My baby is smarter than Cleopatra
She always gets whatever she's after
Sometimes she breaks out into uncontrollable laughter
My baby smarter than Cleopatra

My baby smarter than Catherine the great
She knows I'll wait for her even when she's late
It didn't take her long to set me straight
My baby is smarter than Catherine, the great

My baby is smarter than the Madonna
She lets me do whatever I wanna
Because I know if I do her wrong, then I'll be a goner
My baby is smarter than the Madonna

My baby is smarter than the Queen of Sheba
She knows that I would never ever leave her
She turned me into a high achiever
My baby is smarter than the queen of Sheba

My baby is smarter than Madame Curie
She calms my thoughts when they're in a flurry
She taught me to take my time, and never to hurry
My baby is smarter than Madame Currie

My baby is smarter than Florence Nightingale
She never lets our love go stale
She only buys items when they are on sale
My baby is smarter than Florence Nightingale

My baby is smarter than Marie Antoinette
They haven't chopped her head off yet
She has her cake and eats it too with no regrets
My baby is smarter than Marie Antoinette

My baby smarter than the little mermaid
When life gives her lemons , she makes lemonade
I sit with her and drink it all in the shade,
My baby smarter than a little mermaid

My baby smarter than the snow queen
She remembers the good in everything she's seen
She taught me how to never be mean
My baby is smarter than the snow queen

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

19/05/2024

Burden of the Blues

You got to go first baby
Because I was the one being accused
You had the burden of proof
And I had the burden of the blues

You leveled your accusation
And I proffered my defense
But one of our arguments
Just wasn't making sense

You accused me of malfeasance
I accused you of harassment
My attorney had to clarify
Exactly what kiss my ass meant

I guess it’s in the hands of the jury now
It your case to lose
You have the burden of proof
And I have the burden of the blues

You got to go first
And speak to the jury last
I got to take the stand
And say I told you to kiss my ass

I might have stumbled over what I was saying
And forget what I was talking about
But at least I got to tell them
What I had to live without

An emotion lasts ten minutes
A mood can last for hours
A disorder lasts a lifetime
And can't be cured with flowers

You were out steal a fortune
And you didn’t care who’s
Now you got the burden of proof
And I got the burden of blues

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

15/05/2024

Fast food Blues

The french fries are soggy
The hamburger is cold
The bun is stale and crusty
The ketchup tastes old

The thick shake is runny
The cola is flat
I’ve been coming here for years
But I’m never coming back

I’m fussy about my fast food
It’s all I get to choose
I waited in line for this garbage
And now I got the;
Soggy and cold
Crusty and old
Runny and flat
Never coming back
Fast food Blues

© 2020 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

06/05/2024

Are You Awake

Are you awake
Are you awake
It’s time to get up
For heavens sake

You stopped snoring
But your eyes are still closed
You won’t believe
How long you dosed

I hope you had
A pleasant dream
Because this world
Turned cold and mean

While you’ve been sleeping
Times have changed
What once was dear
Is now estranged

I waited here
To let you know
Are you awake
It’s time to go

© 2013 Eric”Two Scoops” Moore

04/05/2024

Entomologist

04/05/2024

More Than I Used To

More than I used to
I sit at the kitchen table deep in thought
Like I remember my grandpa
Used to do a lot

More than they used to
Tears well up inside
And I start to feel so
Spiritually dissatisfied

My mother asked me one last time
To kiss her but I refused to
Now I sit here remembering her face
More than I used to

More than I used to
I hear an echo from the past
It’s the voice of my grandma saying
Get up off your chair

© 2013 Eric Two Scoops” Moore

04/05/2024

Tell me how

Tell me how
How are you gonna spend
my hard earned money when I’m gone?
I’ve been thinking about leaving it to you
But I’m worried that you might
Spend it wrong

Tell me how
How are you going to treat my orphaned child?
Are you going to try to civilized him
Or let him grow up
free and wild

Are you gonna go to upscale boutiques
And see what you can buy with it
Or save it like a miser
Grow old and die with it

Are you going see and be seen
In chauffeured limousines
What are you gonna do
With all of that green

Tell me how
How are you gonna spend your big windfall?
I really want to know
How you plan to spend it all

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

04/05/2024

What are you gonna do

I said to the waiter,
“I’d tip you more if I could”
All he said was
"It’s all good”

He was wearing goggles
I asked him, “Why?”
He said “it’s better than
a sharp stick in the eye”

I said, “Why do you work here
If you have a PhD?”
All he said was
“ C’est la vie”

I said “I’d find a job
commensurate with your education
If I were you
He just smiled and said
“What are you gonna do”

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

29/04/2024

I Was So Inspired

I was so inspired
I worked until way past two
I didn’t realize I was tired
Until I sat down and thought of you

I had so much inspiration
I saw the project through
I didn’t know I was exausted
Until I got home and thought of you

I thought about the way you loved me
I thought about the way I am
I thought about you in the arms
Of a less inspired man

I was so devoted to my vision
I couldn’t see what was going on
I didn’t know I had lost you
Until I got home and you were gone

©2013 Eric “Two Scoops” Moore

14/04/2024

I came in with nothing
(the one who had it all)

I came in with nothing
And I'm leaving with a good idea
If I don't see you again
I'll always remember you here

I came in with nothing
I'm leaving with a lump in my throat
I'm going to walk until tomorrow
With nothing but my hat and coat

I'm leaving with everything
I will ever need
You made me laugh and cry
And caused my heart to bleed

Such beauty, such grace
Such a shame to watch it die
It's enough to bring an atheist to his knees
And tears to the untrained eye

Such potential such a gift
Such a tragic circumstance
A laptop will never teach you
To laugh, love live or dance

Such promise, such good fortune
Such a long way to fall
Such a life such a story
The one who had it all

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore

21/03/2024

The only game in town

Don't give up on your passion
If they turn you down
They're not the only
Game in town

Walk away with a smile
Never let 'em see you frown
You're special and you know it
You don't need those clowns

Their facade is designed
To make you feel small
But in reality
You don't need them at all

Step out into the sunshine
And scrape them off your shoes
You are tomorrows big headline
They're yesterday's news

Their days are numbered and they know it
Yours have just begun
They're lazy and tired
You're eager and young

You gave them a chance
But they didn't listen
Now you've become
The competition

Hit the sidewalk running
Opportunities abound
They're not the only
Game in town

Eric "Two Scoops" Moore