Carmel Rourke Celebrant

30/08/2024

Those who have loved and lost don’t need a day to remind them of their grief, but as it is National Grief Awareness Day, I’m sharing these beautiful words from Donna Ashworth. Let their love and let live on however you can. 💕

23/08/2024

What a lovely thought! 💕

Our passed loves send signs, this we know. But I also think they send other people in their name. I think they whisper in ears as those strangers sleep and somehow bring them your way; friend, a confidante, bountiful bringers of joy to help you, as you heal the wounds which cannot truly ever heal - but can definitely be looked after. I think, our loved ones direct the flow of energy around us, like a conductor with their orchestra. Making sweet music for your life. Creating soundtracks of happenings, to hug you, in their honour. Watch out for their work, my friends. I think it’s beautiful. And I think it’s happening right here, right now.

‘Orchestra’, from Growing Brave.

Donna Ashworth
Art by Brian Kershisnik

02/08/2024

One of the best parts of my job is meeting the family of a loved one and listening to their portrayal of their life story.

Today Leo wanted to give his version of events too….

21/07/2024

So privileged to be involved in such a beautiful remembrance service at Walton Lea Crematorium organised by the bereavement team to support families who have lost loved ones throughout the year. 💕

21/07/2024

Memories are the greatest gift we leave to those we love, they remain the only thing which can never be taken from us. 💕

04/07/2024

https://youtu.be/4ONVcu5EJOo

Well done to the creative team around this idea!

All too often I visit families who are in shock and have no idea what the wishes of their loved ones are.

The idea of talking about or writing down your own funeral wishes may seem depressing and is certainly something which lots of people still shy away from, but it really is one of the kindest ways to help your family through such a difficult time when you’re no longer around.

If you’re not bothered what happens when you die then please write that down too!

Bez takes on the role of arranger, and Happy Mondays bandmate Shaun Ryder discusses what he’d like for his own funeral in episode 1 of Celebrity Send Off. Th...

20/06/2024

So nice to see Widnes Crematorium in the glorious sun for once!

19/06/2024

Another service today at the beautiful GreenAcres Cemeteries & Ceremonial Parks. Always a pleasure 💕

16/05/2024

One of two beautiful doves released today as part of the farewell service and tributes to a much-loved man. May he rest in peace 💕

14/05/2024

Held a service outdoors today for a wonderful lady who loved the rain, so of course, it was always going to rain!

It was never going to dampen the day or detract from the unique and brilliant character of a lady who loved nothing more than to make others laugh!

I’m adopting one of her favourite sayings as my own…..

‘You’re never fully dressed without a smile, and yer lippy!’

💕

30/04/2024

Today I had the privilege and the heartbreak of helping a family say goodbye to their baby girl. The strength that this family demonstrated was nothing short of heroic and humbling.

This job shows you emotions you didn’t know you had. Thinking of all parents who have faced the cruelest loss 💔

12/02/2024

I don’t often talk about specific funerals or share much on my page as once I’ve finished the process of guiding a family towards and through a funeral service, I’m usually straight onto helping another.

Today really stopped me in my tracks. I had the difficult job of helping parents say farewell to their only child. A pain I hope never to be able to understand.

When we initially met, they told me they were a little unsure about their final piece of music for the service. Their son had been obsessed with Sharks and loved the film JAWS. They were considering the idea of playing the theme tune from the film but wondered if it was a little macabre, whilst convinced that it really was the most fitting choice.

Long story short; we went with it. At the end of the service I explained the significance of the music, before inviting friends and family to stand and give a rapturous applause to a young man who lived every one of his 23 years.

As the music played, seeing the glimmers of light and an almost unspoken permission to leave with a smile on the faces of so many, it hit home how incredibly important the freedom of choice around funeral services is.

Our last chance to say farewell publicly is crucial in the healing process and acceptance of death; especially when it feels so incredibly untimely.

I’ve learned so much since working as a celebrant but I think the most important thing is, whatever helps you get through the most difficult of days which none of us look forward to, do it.

Do whatever it takes to keep breathing, keep existing, before you find the strength to embrace life once again.

Love and strength to all who love and grieve throughout their lives. 💕

11/02/2024

Little uplifting thought for the day….

25/01/2024

To anyone who needs to hear these beautiful words……

12/01/2024

Ending the week with this very much in mind.

Thimking especially of all of the families who are now planning their final farewell ceremonies having lost loved ones over Christmas. May you find the strength to keep taking steps forward.

22/12/2023

21/12/2023

May you find peace in the promise of the solstice night, that each day forward is blessed with more light.
That the cycle of nature, unbroken and true, brings faith to your soul and wellbeing to you.
Rejoice in the darkness, in the silence find rest, and may the days that follow be abundantly blessed ..

~ Unknown ~

Artist Credit : Sherwood Art Prints via Etsy

19/12/2023

Hope is a guiding light, even in the darkest moments. Our HOPELINE247 advisors are here round the clock, offering free and confidential support. Reach out at 0800 068 4141. There's always a way through - even if you can't see it right now. 💜

19/12/2023

Coping with Christmas after you lose someone

DO talk to your friends and family. They will be grateful if you tell them what you need as they care about you and will be conscious of your loss. Just because they don’t mention it, it doesn’t mean they don’t care – it just means they don’t know what to say and are afraid of upsetting you.

DO schedule time in the day to perform a small ritual in memory of your loved one. Light a candle, look at some happy photos, and tell others of a happy memory that you shared. Shed a tear, but be grateful for the time you had them with them and focus on this rather than their absence in your future.

DO plan at least one thing during the day just for YOU. Be selfish. If you want to watch your favourite TV programme with a glass of wine, or go for a walk to a favourite spot, or indulge in your favourite treat, make sure you are able to plan this into your day and visualise it and look forward to it. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to feel miserable all day.

DO ask for support from friends. If you must be alone, ask a friend to call you at a set time so you can share a favourite memory of your absent loved one.

DON’T be a martyr. Tell people how you feel, and how difficult this Christmas will be for you. Don’t expect people to read your mind or intuitively know what you need. If you haven’t had an invitation somewhere, try asking someone if you can pop in during the day. Your true friends will be more than happy to help and support you through this difficult time.

DON’T beat yourself up if you feel sad and depressed or cry; know that this is completely normal and that the first Christmas will be the worst. Look into the future, and believe that it will get easier. If you feel really desperate don’t forget you can always call The Samaritans on 116 123 if you just want an ear at the end of the phone. It is not weak to reach out for help. You are grieving and you are in pain.

DO try and find an inspirational reading or poem that you can read during the day if you feel down. Choose this in advance and know that it will lift your spirits if things get too bad; this is your back-up plan. I love the poem 'He is Gone' by David Harkins.

DO enjoy a Christmas drink, but avoid numbing your pain with alcohol. This will just make you feel worse in the long run. Have a glass or two, but know your limit.

DO try to have fun. I know this is the last thing you want to hear but all the clichés are true, ‘Life goes on’ and ‘life is for the living’. Above all, think about if your loved one would want you to have fun. I don’t feel it is disrespectful to laugh during your darkest times; sometimes it is the only way to survive.

DO celebrate when you get to the end of the day; you took control and not only survived, you found some pleasure in the day, and you will enjoy many more Christmas days and create new special memories as well as always remembering the special times you shared with your loved one.

17/12/2023

15/12/2023

And sneaks up on you when you least expect it 💝

14/12/2023

How beautiful is this. None of us are invincible from those dark moments. Forever grateful for those who brought light to mine.

Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance ..

~ Roy T. Bennett ~

Artist Credit : Victor Nizovtsev

10/12/2023

Have you got someone who is always there with their camera taking loads of pictures when you’re not feeling or looking your best?

Yeah, I’m that person! I can feel the eyes rolling every time I get my camera out when I’m with my family!

Each time someone pulls their face at having their picture taken, I remind them that they’re not for them.

In this era of filters, we can become obsessed with pictures which portray a version of ourselves which is completely removed from our reality.

One day those ‘real’ pictures will be treasured so much, especially the ‘warts and all’ ones!

So many families I work with say they are struggling to find photographs of their loved ones because they hated having them taken.

Next time someone who loves you wants to take your photograph, please just smile and let them. You’re giving them a gift they need to cope when that’s all they have left of you. 💝

08/12/2023

Discussing or leaving funeral wishes can help those trying to plan your funeral service, especially if a passing is unexpected. Often when I meet with families, they are still in shock. It’s a desperately heartbreaking time for people who are having to make important decisions at short notice whilst coming to terms with their own feelings.

20/11/2023

A little bit of food for thought heading into a new week at an incredibly difficult time of year for lots of people.

For those grieving and those who are looking on ... 🩵

Some people survive and talk about it.
Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create.

Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way. And everyone is entitled to that, without judgement.

So the next time you look at someone else's life covetously, remember you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this very moment whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day.

Remember how vast the ocean's boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the waters are calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm.

🖋Author|Nikita Gill (via )

🎨Artist|Charito Gil

19/11/2023

I spend the majority of my working life reminding grieving families that deceased loved ones remain alive through our memories, deeds and the life lessons they taught us.

Well today I’m celebrating the birthday of my own beautiful mum taken far too soon. 8 years without her and no, time doesn’t heal any pain, but it does make you appreciate love and how very precious life is 💕

15/11/2023

I think it’s time for this reminder ♥️♥️

Let them do what they need to do and you do the same.

And as the world around us rages, perhaps do a little more than just ‘let them’… perhaps you can say ‘how lovely’, ‘what a thing’…find some understanding.

Because these things really do not matter.

What matters is how we treat our fellow humans.
Ask yourself if your judgment or your disapproval is helping anyone. And then carry on with your life, sending kindness out.

Because that drop of kindness may just be the one that makes the difference.

And your drop of scorn may just be that too.

Choose wisely x

27/08/2023

“That’s my favourite thing about her…”

When I was in my twenties, an older lady made a fairly common remark about me to my mum;
“she’s very sensitive, isn’t she!” (insert derogatory tone).

My mum replied (with a smile)…

“That’s my favourite thing about her too!”

And I have never forgotten it.

I don't blame the older lady, she was brought up in a society where showing emotions equalled weakness and seeing someone walk around this dangerous world with their heart on their sleeve, was uncomfortable. I get that.

In fact, I instantly took the comments as deserved and punished myself for being so transparent, again. It was years later when my mum’s reply actually sank in, took root and began to grow…

And grow it has.

How ridiculous to believe that our beating hearts full of kindness and love could ever be a bad thing.

That the way we look UP all the time, at the sky and the trees and the beautiful mountains - can ever be a waste of our time.

That our empathy and need for human connection is anything but wondrous.

That our instinct to FEEL, everything this life throws at us is not perfectly imperfectly AS IT SHOULD BE.

And years later, when my sensitivity actually really truly became my best trait, in the eyes of the world, and the books began to flow. Did this person say “Oh how lovely!”

No, they said, “I wish you would write a proper book.”

So, my friends, my lovely wonderful friends…

There will always be people who see your best trait as weakness. And there will be others, (one is all you need (you)), who see it as a joyous sight to behold.

I see it.

And I am grateful for all of you sensitive warriors out there, with hearts on sleeves and outer shells as clear as day.

Thank goodness you didn’t ‘harden up’.

The world is hard enough.

Donna x

P.S: The softest people are the strongest because EVERYTHING hurts… but on we go ♥️

Thank you all for hearing, seeing and sharing with me. Brings me courage I never knew I had! 🙌🏻

(Oh and Waterstones restocked signed and messaged copies of Wild Hope, for anyone who missed out.)

https://www.waterstones.com/book/wild-hope/donna-ashworth/2928377222192