01/03/2023
I'd say I need help, but I'm already losing my grip,
I'd say I wanted someone to hold and love, when I'm alone, scared or sad, but I've gotten this far without anyone's help...
To those who I have loved, i'm sorry, I wish I could've done better, I just hope I was there when things went down, to even cheer yoi or brighten you up, even if noone is here for us when a life is slowly fading away...
To those I have spoke ill, I don't blame you for getting pi**ed at me, :(
In fact, Now is your chance for a free shot!!!
Come at me!
To the point of endless exhaustion, to the point of sleepless nights, to the point of me crying myself to sleep as I watch my mom, slowly fading to nothing,
I feel empty...
I watch her day in and day out...
Looking at my peers and friends enjoying their lives...
As I wonder, when do I get to at least go out, have fun and enjoy what I do?
Day in and day out, for nearly the past decade, I may complain, nag etc, but I have tried my best to be there for my mum, despite me just doing my best trying to make my life a little bit better as others just watch me, I'm always left alone my heart aching in anger and sorrow asking myself...
"WHERE ARE THEY?"
It was only me, and my beloved sister who are always there for her...
Now my mom is fighting for her life, all I can do is watch idly by as the woman who gave birth to me, might soon be just a memory... and the irony is, it's almost my birthday...
We're tired, exhausted, but still hoping for a miracle, still hoping for a cure... talk about being a foolish optimistic.
I refuse to believe this is the last, despite me getting expert advice that chances are pretty slim, and even if she pulls through.
I don't know what to think, I don't know how to react, I don't know what to do but all I know is, my mom is strong, despite the odds, I'm happy she still stayed this long...
One more lap ma... for me? For us? Pls?