16/12/2023
So many people don't understand the importance of a good, reputable Santa school. I am a member of the Worldwide Santa Claus Network. This group educates Santa portrayal artists in the proper ways to portray Santa. Things like the importance of Gloves, Education, Contracts, and Insurance.
A hypothetical, and highly unlikely story.
But not absolutely impossible.
“But it was just a picture!
Congratulations! You decided to be Santa! You went out and bought a suit, and now you can’t wait to perform!
What could be better than to show up at a community event and spread holiday joy! And maybe get a referral or two!
Everyone is delighted to see you! Photos all around! Ho Ho HO! This is GREAT! Everyone LOVES you! Children! Families! Couples! What could be better! A young family with a newborn, with Grandma and Grandpa for good measure! What a wonderful holiday picture! You hold the baby and everyone smiles! What a great night!
Fast forward to a month later. There’s a knock at your door. Who could that be?
You open the door to a process server. You are being sued for defamation of character and molestation.
WHAT????
See, that picture you took with the baby. You never had training in how to hold a baby. You didn’t think about your hand placement. You just held one leg in one hand and supported the baby with the other.
You didn’t even give a second thought to your thumb.
Your pink, un-gloved thumb.
Sticking up between the baby’s legs, right at crotch level.
No one noticed it – at first.
See, Grandpa, it turns out, is a very high priced and powerful personal injury lawyer, and he had copies of that photo sent out to his entire firm and all his clients as a Christmas card. Which was fine. Till someone noticed your thumb. Your pink, round thumb – right where the baby’s… um… anatomy… would be.
That picture got blown up and circulated all around the office, captioned “Well Hung Baby!”
Well, Grandpa is NOT amused. Grandpa didn’t get to where he was by having a sense of humor. No, grandpa is ruthless and proud. And having his grandson mocked and laughed at was a personal insult and is VERY bad for business. Someone will pay.
And you gave out a ton of business cards. Grandpa knows EXACTLY where to find you. And he does.
Welcome to court. But it was just a slip of the hand, no big deal, right? The judge will understand!
Well, the Grandpa and the judge went to school together many many years ago. And well, the judge cheated on an exam. And got away with it.
Grandpa knows. And didn’t tell.
The judge knows that grandpa knows. Grandpa holds it over the judge constantly. Grandpa has the judge in his pocket. There’s no way the judge is going to go lightly on someone who Grandpa has in his sights.
You lose. Everything.
It was just a picture.
Oh… wait… it doesn’t end there.
Grandpa sued the event sponsor, too. But they didn’t hire you! It was open to the public!
No, allowing you to solicit business at their event was tacit approval on the sponsor’s part, and they are responsible. The grandpa wins that case too.
Now you get another summons. The event expects you to cover their losses. The judge asks to see the contract.
You don’t have one.
You lose that too.
But now you’re broke from the first suit. You can’t pay. So the event sponsor goes bankrupt and the event can no longer continue.
You wanted to bring joy. Instead, you shut down a beloved family event. And it’s in all the papers.
Who’s going to hire you now?
“But it was just a picture.”
Go ahead. Tell me this could never happen.
I have had my own personal experiences that shook me to the core, but my love of providing a "Santa Experience" to children and families keeps me going.
Santa Claus portrayal artist for northern New Mexico & sourthern Colorado.
