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The Lads

This is what happens when ladies of a certain age try and cheer their sister up. The Lads are Wade T

07/09/2024

Poor Wade! The previous weekend had been very disappointing. The van journey had been lengthy and dull, he’d been shut in the van all day without even the hint of an open window and there hadn’t been so much as a sniff of dark fruits. And now Wade was absolutely sick and tired of hearing about the exploits of the Jolly Lady and Tiny Tarka Terry who’d swum 11 miles in Lake Windermere. “Please make it stop!” he implored the Landlady, “If I hear anything else about inspirational exploits I won’t be responsible for my actions!”

26/08/2024

"I'm borrowing your car for a bit, love" mentioned Norris to the Landlady, "I'm picking my mate up from the station, he's coming to stay for a bit!" "Thanks for letting me know Norris" replied the Landlady, choking on the cloud of dust and fumes as Norris sped off. "And make sure you put the seat back in position, I couldn't get my knees past the steering wheel last time..." But he'd gone...

24/08/2024

Wade had been invited out by the Jolly lady and farmer Dave, he was relieved, over a week had passed since any gallivanting had taken place.
Oi mate heckled Wade, got any Quo? The band did indeed have some Quo! Banger after banger infact. Wade was perplexed by the unusual outcome of his query

20/08/2024

Leaky Lee was having trouble with his plumbing so employed Wade's Therapy Friends to drive him to the hospital. Wade delegated the task to Norris who was more than happy to enjoy breakfast on expenses while he was waiting 🙊

16/08/2024

Wade turned down a trip to the supermarket, instead tucking himself under a blanket on the sofa to watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. “What on earth’s wrong Wade?” asked the Landlady, concerned. “I hope you haven’t got monkey pox!” “No love” he replied weakly, “I think I just overdid it at the gym!”

15/08/2024

Wade was feeling the effects of his recent back to back holidays. He was almost in need of a larger sweater and his abs had disappeared. "Let's hit the gym love!" he announced to the Landlady. "That weight's almost as big as you!" chuckled the Landlady, "don't do yourself a mischief!"

10/08/2024

Wade had been invited on another holiday with farmer Dave and the Jolly lady, he had followed the easyJet advice but had unfortunately forgotten his carry on🙄. Oh dear Wade, I’m sure you can borrow some cash from FD🤬

06/08/2024

Norris was still working hard, looking after the Lady on Wheels while Wade was on holiday. Wade seemed to be away more than he was home, he'd just come back from his second foreign holiday of the year and was due to visit his relatives in Edinburgh, the McTincknells, for a few days. Norris didn't mind, he had access to all the crisps he could eat and they were even a proper brand 😁

02/08/2024

Norris and the Landlady were enjoying an uneventful day in the commune, cleaning the kitchen and participating in craft. "What are you knitting, Norris?" asked the Landlady, who didn't want to stifle Norris' creativity by querying his colour choices. "It's a sweater for a mate", Norris replied, "I know he'll love it!" The Landlady wasn't convinced.

25/07/2024

The Landlady and Norris had been helping clean the Jolly Lady and Farmer Dave's house before they moved out. Wade had been conspicuous by his absence. "Wherever can Wade be?" wondered the Jolly Lady. As soon as the hard work was done he popped his head out of the kettle where he'd been resting. "Is there anything I can do?" he queried.

24/07/2024

"Get yer foot down love!" encouraged Norris, "We've got work to do!" WTF had been engaged to help the Jolly Lady and Farmer Dave move house, a task which Wade had delegated to Norris, who was happy to be paid in crisps. He worked hard, safe in the knowledge that the Jolly Lady would take weeks to find out where he'd unpacked everything and he would be paid in enough Wotsits to guarantee orange paws.

14/07/2024

Wade's farage was on the mend thanks to Nurse Tracey so he decided to head off to the Jolly Lady's where there were fewer people, more attention and the catering was top notch. "I think I'll have a lie down in my room, Jolly Lady! Wake me up when lunch's served!" Oh dear Wade, all your stuff's been packed up 😥 "Never mind, I'll relax on the recliner, that won't fit in a box!" Oh......

02/07/2024

Wade was having a bit of "down below" trouble so asked Nick to drive him to see his favourite medical professional, Nurse Tracey. "I think I've got a boil on my farage" he whispered discreetly, "Can you have a quick look love?" "What on earth's a farage?" queried Tracey, "is it something only monkeys have?" "Nick told me to say that" explained Wade, "he said it was a more polite way of saying b*mhole!"

01/07/2024

The Landlady had to get up early to take the Girl Child to work. Nick effin Morris was more than happy to keep her company with the promise of a hospital canteen breakfast. You're never alone with a monkey 😀

30/06/2024

Wade and Nick had been sucked into watching political debate. The Landlady used it for background while she procrastinated about all the jobs she had to do. Wade and Nick quite liked Rishi Sunak as they were both taller than him. They weren't sure who they'd be voting for yet as none of the candidates had been round to see them and Wade wasn't too sure of his immigration status having come over in a container from China 🙈🙉🙊

29/06/2024

Wade was bored and fed up. He'd come back to the commune for a change of scene, but so far the entertainment had been, at best, lacklustre. He'd been expected to help clean the kitchen with the promise of a relaxing massage later. However, oil was not compatible with his fur and instead of being relaxed he was just sticky. Wade knew that a boil wash and hot tumble dry was on the cards when the Jolly Lady saw him 😬

24/06/2024

Wade, along with the Jolly lady and Farmer Dave had been invited out to a summer BBQ. The group huddled under a large umbrella, determined not to be sent inside by the drizzle of midsummer. Nights will be drawing in soon quipped Wade, reaching for a cool can, followed by a delicious lunch, large pudding and a monkey sized glass of wine. Merry Christmas he laughed as the fog rolled into the valley

16/06/2024

Nick effin Morris had been out for Father's Day, taking his dad, "Big Merv" Morris, for a few pints. Nick was feeling smug. He'd found out he was taller than Rishi Sunak and Big Merv always made sure they'd had a comprehensive Sky package when he was growing up even though they had to eat beans on toast for breakfast, lunch and dinner 🤩

14/06/2024

Wade, the Jolly lady and the Lady on wheels were reminiscing over a box of old photos, Wade was a little uncomfortable with four childhood photos of his landlady staring up at him and he noted there were a lot less pictures of JL than the LL.

05/06/2024

Norris had passed his probationary period at Wade's Therapy Friends (WTF) and was in charge of taking the Lady on Wheels to a local nursery. He had submitted his timesheet promptly and looked forward to being paid by Wade. In money, that is, not peanuts...or crisps 🤩

26/05/2024

Happy birthday Jolly Lady!!! Wade's got his Monzo and lunch is on him 😊😊😊

18/05/2024

“La la la la la la la la!” chanted Wade, covering his ears with his paws. What on earth’s wrong, young Wade? Oh dear, the Landlady and the Jolly Lady are discussing the menopause again and Wade’s finding it very embarrassing! 😳😳😳

14/05/2024

Lads? Would you like to come to the river tonight… will there be snacks asked Norris? No replied the Jolly lady but I’d like a hand or paw to get me into my new wetsuit. Round peg square hole sniggered Wade. Sorry love I think we’ll sit this one out.

13/05/2024

Too hot complained Wade and Norris removing their jumpers. FPS lads cover yourselves up shrieked the Jolly lady covering her eyes.

05/05/2024

Wade was back from his holiday. He’d had a great time. “Got you a present, landlady!” he chortled, “It’s my washing, and I even folded it up for you!” Thanks Wade 🤬🤬🤬

01/05/2024

Hurry up love, demanded Wade, I’m going straight out after I’ve finished my mini pastries. I don’t want to be late…. I’m meeting my Irish cousins, Seamus and Asumpta O’Tinknell.

30/04/2024

Oi Farmer Dave, lend me a tenner so I can play the ponies ❤️.

29/04/2024

Airport drinks 🙄

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After his early night in the lovely comfortable hotel room, Wade was awake at the crack of dawn. Unfortunately the others weren't due to a late night and bus trip to Woolwich Arsenal. This looks fun! exclaimed Wade. It wasn't fun at all 😡 #ibis #ibiscanningtown

Everyone (the lads) were so excited… it was the landlady’s birthday and they felt sure leaky lee and the family would have baked a huge cake and organised a huge party…… HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE. See you at the party🙄🙄🙄🙈

Wade was enjoying a couple of weeks off, he was absolutely rolling in notes from WTF (Wades therapy friends) so felt quite happy binning it off for a well earned break. He was however swayed into some cash in hand work for the lady on wheels who wanted a trip out. Alright love, but cash up front okay, I need some extra for Boomtown Fair. They set off at quite a pace….. Take it easy love shouted Wade, it’s not Nurburgring 🙄🙈. #WTF #boomtownfair #fabioandgrooverider #cashinhand #nurburgring #heatwave

Farmer Dave has been a little under the weather but the grass won’t cut itself…. Luckily the jolly lady is about to do any heavy jobs and Wade is happy to help with the more technical stuff, Alright mate, drive on, you could get a bus through there shouted Wade encouragingly #harvesttime #monkeysofinstagram #masseyfergusontractors #getoffmyland #farmerpalmer

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