28/04/2021
This is ME. 2 kids, via C Section in 2 Years. April is C-Section Awareness Month and I wanted to share my a little of my story with you.
I wanted to do an all natural birth, unmedicated vaginal birth with my first child.The entire pregnancy so far was a breeze so wouldn't delivery be too? It was very clear, at the half way point that might not be possible because of his size and my gestation diabetes. Still, I planned my natural vaginal birth plan. I got to 40wks and was scheduled to be induced. I got into the hospital & everything happened gradually but my on paper birth plan was slowly fading away. My first set of contractions had me screaming for an epidural. I labored for 23 hours, got to 9.5 cms, got a fever and dr found meconium so we were rushed into an emergency C-Section. From the time it was decided to the time I was on the table was SO fast. I remember shaking uncontrollably from the meds they were pumping through me, the OR was freezing. I was scared even with my husband gripping my hands right next to me. For my doctor it was a routine day, he and his staff were calm cool collected and bumping Rihanna in the OR. A couple pushes and pulls later and a huge 10 # baby boy entered the world, on the scans 2 days before he was only supposed to be 8.8 so we were all surprised! My husband went to cut the umbilical cord and was whisked away with baby to do skin to skin while I was stitched up.This was the only part of my birth plan that was intact, and I didn't get to do it first. I layed there, feeling tired, confused, cold, HUNGRY...still shaking a ton. My recovery with baby #1 was rough on my body, I was in a lot of pain. Baby ended up being sent to the NICU since we both had fevers upon his delivery. This was a blessing in disguise. I was able to recover under constant care of a hospital staff and rest, and so did he.
Baby #2 a year later was hard. Her pregnancy was rough from start to finish. I was also pregnant just as the pandemic started.I had all the symptoms all 3 trimesters and again, halfway through we knew this time for sure, I would have to deliver via C-Section. It was different PLANNING for a c-section and having gone through it the year before. I was much more collected going into it, I knew kind of what to expect and I was able to eat even till a couple hours before surgery. I remember calling my bffs and asking for reassurance because I was scared to go under the knife for sure this time. They all reassured me it was normal to be scared to be cut open, and to have faith in my team. Leaving for the hospital was surreal, kissing my parents and son goodbye, hopping in the car casually like we were going to dinner and showing up to L&D with our small bags and waiting to be called in. The entire staff had history of my first birth a year earlier so we knew what to expect with little details like which arm took best to my IVs and which veins were best for poking. I got to meet the anesthesiologist who ended up being a light during my surgery. From the time we got there to on the table was an hour or so. I got to sit and text/call all my friends and family right up until the procedure. Laugh with my husband and talk about how our lives were going to change in a couple mins. They wheeled me alone into the OR as my husband got dressed to go in. My staff was joking that even though it was turnover time they all wanted to stay to see baby because we all became friends fast (and I was massive.) The procedure was before christmas so christmas music echoed through the cold room, this time they made sure I was very comfortable, my anesthesiologist made tons of conversation and kept us laughing the whole procedure. My doctor brought in another doctor to learn from him how he was going to stitch me up since he was opening the scar from the year before. This time, when they got to baby, and pulled her out, I felt an immense relief of pressure. She was 11 # (for reference im 5'1 BTW) everyone let out a collective sigh and laugh because she was so big! It was joyous in the OR. Christmas music continued to play as my husband went to cut the cord. I was excited to see her knowing there was no need to rush her off to the NICU like our first baby.
My husband left the OR again to do skin to skin. This time I was thrilled for him. I got to carry our children, I knew what they felt like. Having him do skin to skin before me, alone with our children before while I got closed up was a very special moment for them. He likes to joke hes their favorite parent and bonded with each of them differently because he they felt his heart first out of the womb. I love that for him, because our children know how my heart feels from the inside.
Both of my recoveries were different. Thats a story for another day.
My best friend is a L&D nurse. She always told me, your only plan should be to have a baby Paige, no matter what that looks like. Even though I wanted the natural birth, she would always remind me that any healthy birth is GOOD birth. I found being pregnant both times that people push the all natural, non medicated birth is put on a pedestal like its something we should strive to do. I remember feeling shame that there was a chance I couldn't birth them naturally. Shame that a c-section somehow made me feel less of a mother and a woman. My body could not have delivered those babies naturally. And thats okay. I needed the assistance of science and medicine.
These tools were created TO HELP ME bring my babies into the world. Science and medicine has come SO far from even when I was born 31 years ago. I think the language around birth has to change just as much.We should advocate for women to have healthy happy births no matter what that looks like. There is so much shaming and hierarchy in motherhood/parenthood/pregnancy/postpartum that is really unnecessary. Every person is different and every birth, is different. My doctor knew my wishes and truly tried to have me deliver my children the way I wanted to. The world had a different plan. Doctors and nurses are so well versed in their jobs and what they do, it does a world of difference if you TRUST their knowledge. Its important to advocate for yourself too but again, different post for a different time.
I am grateful for the advances in medicine that allowed my children to transition earthside . I am grateful for the staff at Sacred Heart L&D and the Womens Group Pensacola. And lastly, I am grateful for my family and friends that supported me through both pregnancies. My children's deliveries are a miracle of science and I am so happy they're here.
Mahalo to for capturing these moments for us and for always making me feel beautiful, bare in front of the camera. You are the best. Flower Tattoos by Yours Truly