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OCTOBER 26THONCE A YEAR, TOXIC SMOKE PLUMES FROM THE SMOKESTACKS AT THE CITY’S ABANDONED MENTAL ASYLUM. ALTHOUGH THE FAC...
10/10/2024

OCTOBER 26TH
ONCE A YEAR, TOXIC SMOKE PLUMES FROM THE SMOKESTACKS AT THE CITY’S ABANDONED MENTAL ASYLUM. ALTHOUGH THE FACILITY HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN FOR DECADES, CITY GOVERNMENT ALLOWS A MYSTERIOUS CRIMINAL CABAL TO OPERATE WITHIN THE PREMISES AT ONE COST… COLD, HARD CA$H. EVERY HALLOWEEN FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS, RESIDENTS OF THE TOWN HAVE BEGUN TO DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE. MOST PEOPLE HAVE AN IDEA WHERE (OR HOW) THESE POOR SOULS ACTUALLY END UP BUT THE POLICE SEEMINGLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN INVESTIGATING.

THE LEGEND GOES… A WEALTHY, MARRIED SURGEON GOT INTO AN AFFAIR WITH THE OFFICE SECRETARY. HIS WIFE FOUND OUT, DIVORCED HIM, AND TOOK EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE KIDS. ALL OF THE TOWN TURNED THEIR BACK ON HIM. HE SOON FOUND HIMSELF ON THE STREETS, MAKING BACKDOOR DEALS WITH WHOEVER HE COULD TO GET BY. THEY SAY HE WAS PICKED UP BY THE MAFIA, OR SOME SORT OF POWERFUL GANG. NO ONE’S REALLY SURE BUT HE WAS NEVER SEEN FROM AGAIN. YEARS LATER, THERE’S ALL THIS TALK ABOUT ORGAN HARVESTING AND MEDICAL EXPERIMENTATION ON THE LOCAL NEWS.. IN OUR LITTLE TOWN? SHUCKS IF I HAD HALF A MIND I’D SAY THERE’S DEFINITELY SOMETHING GOING ON HERE…

THIS YEAR IT’S TIME TO FINALLY PUT AN END TO THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL. ON HALLOWEEN WEEKEND WE INVITE ANYONE BRAVE ENOUGH TO JOIN US IN ENTERING THE ASYLUM. THE ULTIMATE WAR BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL IS UPON US.. IT’S TIME TO TAKE BACK OUR TOWN! WILL YOU DISAVOW THE CORRUPT CITY GOVERNMENT AND HELP US LAY TO REST THE SOULS OF THESE MISSING PERSONS?

JAGU4R
NOMIII
VIVIAN OBLIVION
BLANKPHOSPHENES
DJ EDDY BAUER
GABBERBITCH69
FRANXX B2B ZNORTHY

FLYER BY
TIX ON RA

HAS YOUR LIFE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN? IS LOVE IN YOUR FUTURE? CALL NOW! WE ARE HOSTING A SPECIAL PSYCHIC MARATHON ON AUGUST ...
31/07/2024

HAS YOUR LIFE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN? IS LOVE IN YOUR FUTURE? CALL NOW! WE ARE HOSTING A SPECIAL PSYCHIC MARATHON ON AUGUST 17TH! WE KNOW EVERYTHING YOU WANT… AND EVERYTHING YOU DON’T. PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE TO CONNECT 2 UR HIGHEST PHANTASY … COURTESY OF 140+ x FWB

THANK YOU FOR CALLING 1-800-F*CK. PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY AS OUR OPTIONS HAVE CHANGED. FOR OUR LIST OF PSYCHICS PLEASE PRESS 1. *BEEEEEEEEEP*

MOISTBREEZY HAS GAINED MASSIVE SUCCESS HELPING MILLIONS CHANGE THEIR LIVES. NOW SHE’S LETTING “YOU” SEE IN2 THE FUTURE JUST LIKE HER! PRESENTING MOISTBREEZY’S CELEBRITY PSYCHIC NETWORK.

NOW ONLINE! DC’S MYSTERIOUS “TRUTH TELLER” DIMAS WILL OPEN ALL BLOCKED CHAKRAS AND BREAK U OF SPIRITUAL PSYCHOSIS. WHAT’S THE TEA? WOULDN’T U LIKE TO KNOW

…RETURNING TO THE NETWORK! PSYCHIC TWINS HISSYFIT & FRANXX WON OVER THE COUNTRY WITH THEIR APPEARANCES ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA, THE TODAY SHOW, AND MANY OTHERS. RELAX AND LET THEM OPEN THE GATEWAY TO YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL. DON’T BE SCARED OF WHAT AWAITS YOU. CALL IN NOW.

CALLING IN FOR 1-NITE-ONLY IS BALTIMORE’S FAMED GIRLYPOP PRINCESS. ARE YOU OPEN 2 LOVE? OPEN 2 LIFE? DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ALL WILL BE REVEALED. HAVE COURAGE AND TAKE THIS LEAP OF FAITH.

FEELING CONFUSED? NOT SURE WHERE TO GO? WHAT TO DO? TIME TO ELEVATE YOUR MOOD! PSYCHIC HOTLINE RESIDENTS DJ LAND REFORM AND GET FACE WILL CALM YOUR NERVES AND OFFER YOU PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE. THERE’S A REASON THEY’RE THE “BEST” IN THE “BUSINESS.”

DON’T FORGET OUR LONGTIME PHONE OPERATOR, ARTEMIS. ALWAYS BEHIND THE SCENES PLUGGING AND UNPLUGGING WIRES. MOISTBREEZY CELEBRITY PSYCHIC NETWORK IS PROUD TO BE SPONSORED BY BRADY RALL & CO. ATTORNEYS AT LAW (AKA HE’S DOING SOUND) – “DON’T HESITATE TO SUE ANYONE FOR ANYTHING, EVER. SERIOUSLY, JUST DO IT. THEY PROBABLY DESERVED IT.”

tix on ra

ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS OF PLANET TURBO… THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! ALL CREWMEMBERS ABOARD THE 140+/FWB INTERNATIONAL DIVA S...
18/04/2024

ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS OF PLANET TURBO… THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! ALL CREWMEMBERS ABOARD THE 140+/FWB INTERNATIONAL DIVA SPACE STATION HAVE VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE. INVESTIGATORS HAVE REPORTED EXTREMELY HIGH LEVELS OF ALIEN RESIDUE AT THE SCENE. WHERE HAVE THEY GONE? IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE END? ONLY TIME WILL TELL…

LIKE A CUNTY METEOR FLINGING ITSELF ACROSS SPACE FROM THE UNITED JUMP FRONT ASTEROID BELT, JESSXO MAKES HER WAY TO THE 140FWB STAGE! 😱😱😱😱 THERE WILL BE A GUARANTEED CRASH LANDING AT 618 H ST NW ON SATURDAY MAY 4TH. DON’T MISS THE DANGEROUSLY DESTRUCTIVE AND WORLD-ENDING DIVALICIOUS BLENDS. WILL YOU MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?? IT’S TIME TO START PREPPING, GORL.

A SECOND FLYING FLYING OBJECT HAS ENTERED THE STRATOSPHERE… THE CATASTROPHIC SELECTION OF RESIDENT GABBERBITCH69! HER SICKENING BEATS WILL SHATTER GLASS AND RATTLE YOUR BRAIN.. HAILING FROM BALTIMORE - GOKIBSTARGO IS UNLEASHING NEVER BEFORE ENCOUNTERED TURBO SELECTIONS ALONGSIDE RESIDENT GET FACE. SOUND THE ALARM! THIS IS IT, FOL###.

POUTY’S RAGE WILL BE YOUR HERALD OF SALVATION ON FLOOR 2. SHATTERING THE SPEED OF SOUND AND PUMMELING EARDRUMS WITH THEIR COMBINATIONS OF BREAKS & DRUM N BASS. LISTEN CLOSELY FOR A SPECIAL DEBUT OF THEIR NEW PROJECT! IN A LAST ATTEMPT TO SAVE HUMANITY FROM THE CLUBPOCALYPSE, FLOTUSSIN WILL BE TEARING IT OUT WITH HER DIVALISH CLUBBY AND PUMPING FREQUENCIES. RESIDENT FRANXX ON OPENING DUTIES TEARING IT OUT WITH A POPPY TECHNO-FEMME SLAY SET.

ARTEMIS PRODUCTIONS GONNA PAPI SMACK MY ASS
AND SOMEBODY IS DOING SOUND *100 EMOJI

WE’RE BACK!!! AND WE’RE GETTING STICKY ON MARCH 2NDLONDON’S BOUNCE-TASTIC DEFENDER OF DONK, DJ FINGERBLAST, IS COMING ST...
08/02/2024

WE’RE BACK!!! AND WE’RE GETTING STICKY ON MARCH 2ND

LONDON’S BOUNCE-TASTIC DEFENDER OF DONK, DJ FINGERBLAST, IS COMING STRAIGHT FROM IJBOLIA TO SLING A SIGNATURE MUD-BATH OF MASHUPS AND “LOLS ’N’ BASS” THAT WILL LEAVE YOU HOT, SWEATY, AND STICKY AS FFFFF!! CAUTION IS ADVISED: THIS EVENT WILL RIP A HOLE IN THE BOING-ZONE LAYER AND EXPOSE YOU TO ULTRASTICKY RAYS…

IT’S CUNTING SEASON AND GABBERBITCH69 AND FRANXX HAVE RENEWED THEIR B2B LICENSE. ARE YOU READY TO SCALE THE JUNGLE CANOPY TO ESCAPE THEIR GRIP? BE PREPARED TO LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE OUT LOUD AS THESE CUNTRESSES OF HARDCORE & BOUNCE TURN THIS VENUE INTO THE HUNGER GAMES…!

WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU! RESIDENT DJ LAND REFORM HAS ESCAPED FROM THE NEARBY SCIENCE LAB AND HAS BEEN SPOTTED SLINGING AROUND A SUSPICIOUSLY LARGE & SUCKULENT PACKAGE CONTAINING HIS FRUITIEST SELECTION. DON’T GET BONKED IN THE HEAD WITH HIS THICK, HEAVY… RECORDS.
BACK ON THE FOREST FLOOR, SAMANTHA FRANCESCA HAS JOINED THE CREW TO TAKE US ON A TANTALIZING SONIC SAFARI TRIP. PLEASE KEEP ALL HANDS AND FEET INSIDE THE VEHICLE AS THE LOCAL WILDLIFE HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY HOSTILE TOWARDS UNWELCOME VISITORS… DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YOU!

RESIDENT JUNGLE SCIENTISTS, GET FACE AND ZNORTHY, HAVE DEDICATED THEIR LIVES TO THE STUDY OF DONKOLOGY AND NOW NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THE RAINFOREST! TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND THEY NEED YOU TO PRODUCE AS MUCH SWEAT AS POSSIBLE TO KEEP THE FLORA & FAUNA HUMID, MOIST, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY… STICKY. DANCE YOUR LITTLE HEARTS OUTS AND PLEASE SAVE OUR PLANET!

ARTEMIS IS BACK WITH HIS ULTRAJUICY, ULTRASONIC TECHNOLOGY READY TO BLAST & STUN UNAUTHORIZED INDIVIDUALS IN THE CRANIUM. NOTICE: MAY RESULT IN INTERNAL HEMORRHAGING.

IN ACCORDANCE WITH LOCAL GOVERNMENT LEGISLATION, BASS SUPPORT HAS CREATED A FORCEFIELD OF SONIC MANIPULATION, GUARANTEEING NO ONE PASSES THROUGH WITHOUT SUCCUMBING TO THEIR ULTRASEXY TECHNOLOGIES.

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