24/07/2024
Just keeping it real, as I cry in my car tonight:
If I said: I’m a three time divorced woman who has been 🛋️ surfing all summer so I can finish grad school in my 50’s. Not long ago, due to circumstances out of my control, I lost my 🏠 , job, community, long-term relationship, etc.. I get turned down at auditions a lot. I have relationship struggles with kids, and grandkids I don’t see. I lost my 27 year old daughter in a horrific way, and have battled the justice system ever since. I have family members I don’t/won’t talk to anymore. I have chronic neck pain 😩 and many food allergies. I have scars and cellulite and wrinkles and my hair is turning gray. I am a jack of many trades, but master of none.
What would you think?
If I said: I’m in at least one musical every year, I’ve sung solos with orchestras and jazz bands. I’ve done marathons and triathlons. I am going to grad school at Harvard. I have a kind, handsome, intelligent partner. I have supportive family. I have 6 beautiful, smart kids and 6 adorable grandkids. I have so many generous friends willing listen to me, and let me stay with them. I get to hike, do yoga and paddle board often. I have a job I love. I can cook, decorate, dance, sing, play the piano, write poetry, teach yoga.
What would you think?
Both are true.
Everyone has an intriguing life story.
Happiness lies in our focus 😊.
Wanna know the secret to maintaining a smile? Welcoming grief when it taps me on the shoulder. I cry my guts out (or post to the social media abyss) when I need to.
The key to being confident? Doing things that scare the HELL out of me. (Like a tiny “stripper” role in a musical…and no, I don’t actually strip).
Behind all of my posts about grad school, spending time with my kids, being at the lake, musicals, success stories with students, etc., there are insecurities, failures, fear, deep loss and many tears.
There are days I don’t want to get up. Days I feel lonely. Days I feel helpless and insignificant. Days I feel ugly. Days I feel like a failure.
So I feel it…
I accept what IS…
and then I count my blessings and move forward.
Life is short and I’ve got things to DO, people to LOVE, places to see, policies and 🧠 minds to change, things to learn 📚, and a lot of self-improvement to do. 💜 ❤️🩹
Thanks for reading my self-TED talk. 😆🤷♀️
