20/07/2024
DQOMfest 2024 OPEN MIC FEATURED ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
Meet the Performer: The Loser Section
You won’t want to miss this set at 2:00pm!
When Alex Kreutzer was a young boy growing up in the wildlands of Eastern Pennsylvania, his sister encouraged him to try out for a local community choir for children. (She was particularly cruel.) While he lacked natural musical talent, he did possess an abundance of enthusiasm and an intense and innate love of songs. Unfortunately, the Choir Director didn’t fully appreciate Alexander’s zeal, and instead focused on his perversely rancid singing, his chaotic and unpredictable rhythm, and his fabulous and overwhelmingly distracting sense of fashion. Still, the literature for the choir did proclaim “All Are Welcome!” The Director had no choice - No. Choice. - but to admit Alexander to the group.
Finding himself in somewhat of a quandary, the Director created a new section just for Alexander: “The Loquacious Section.” Alexander didn't know what “Loquacious” meant, but he liked the way it rolled off the tongue. The Loquacious Section wasn’t actually allowed to sing. Instead, the entire section (which was really just Alexander) dressed in all black (though guidelines for footwear were conspicuously missing), and during each performance, at one very specific moment in one very specific song, The Loquacious Section would make one very specific sound with one very specific instrument. In the Spring concert performance of “Africa,” for example, The Loquacious Section would deftly flip a rainstick upside down. The Summer show meant a waving sheet of metal mimicking thunder. Winter invariably involved sleigh bells.
Alexander didn’t exactly mind his role until one day, while returning the cowbell to the storage closet after a particularly grueling rehearsal (one can only give so much “more”), he overheard Jenny Finklemeyer say, “I don’t even know why they keep The Loser Section around, anyway. He can’t even sing. And did you see his shoes?”
Alexander looked down at his purple shoes, and he felt a desperate stirring deep within his sole. [sic] He had heard that phrase tossed around before, but he had never made the connection until just that moment. The Loser Section? The Loser Section??? One day, Jenny Finkelmeyer… one day. One day I’ll show you what The Loser Section is really about. Just you wait and see.
And now, after many long years, the loser section has returned. Beware, Jenny Finkelmeyer. Beware.
(Much like the songs of the loser section, this story may or may not be true.)
Tickets on sale now!
https://my.cheddarup.com/c/dqomfest-iii
