21/12/2023
There are many things in life that we are not meant to get over, move on or completely heal from.
Even the idea itself of being completely "healed" is derived from a colonial, patriarchal psychology that is rooted so deeply in individuality while being divorced from any proper, nourishing root system of its own.
If we need to be "healed' we risk repressing so much of our grief that it transforms into shame and narcissism that has us unconsciously repeating the losses that we could not name, grieve or allow to truly shape us in more meaningful, generative ways.
This conditioning is rooted in how we approach death, how long our culture allows us to grieve before we must "get over it" and move on with our lives.
But, in our heart of hearts, we know it does not work like that.
♡
We might grieve the loss of a loved one who passed away for the rest of our lives.
We might long for and miss people we continue to love, even when they cannot be a part of our lives.
To be human is to be a constellation of every experience we have ever had in our lives.
Everyone we have ever loved.
Those who have loved us.
All we have survived.
All that we have created.
Everything we have learned, witnessed, felt, grown from and opened into.
It's all within us, in our cells, pulsing in our bones, woven into the tapestry of story that beats our hearts.
It's not something we can clear away or "get over."
♡
Self is a constellation of ancestors, stories carried in the bones of the earth, roots that drink from the darkness of the mystery and psyche expressing itself as the seasons.
Nothing is the same within us from day to day when we allow what we have lived to shape and change us over time, the way a river carves out ancient stone in the deep forest waterways.
Every storm leaves its mark in the forest that later twists the trunks in a particular way, informs where seeds will take root, what will feed new life and what will not.
The nature of the ecosystem is to thrive.
This is our nature to.
We spiral through the seasons, each time being shaped closer and closer to our true form as an expression of love and honoring of all that came before.
♡
We are part star, part earth, part raging river, part crackling fire, part Winter storm, part Spring blossoming, part Summer passion, part Fall's letting go, part wild instinct, part divine tuning fork...
All of us is woven from the web of the great creation and to allow ourselves to be shaped by all that we have loved before, to ebb and flow through the evolution of the Spiral of creation, is a great, deep healing at the hands of something far greater than us.
Far more beautiful than the isolation of a psyche trying to force itself to get rid of something that gives its genius more character.
Far more interesting than trying to mold ourselves into being okay in an unwell, disconnected world.
♡
There is something within us that has not been broken, can never be harmed within us; something that has continued to carry us, hold us, love us and shape us through it all.
We move forward, into the future that is shaped by the great Dreaming that is shaping us and dreaming us as much as we, it.
We move forward.
We spiral.
We integrate.
We move forward again.
♡
What are we bringing with us from the past that will support us in thriving now?
What gifts, qualities and lessons will we take with us into the next dreaming that life presents us with?
How can we transform the pain of our heartbreak into something beautiful that can feed and nourish the present?
What greater capacity have we now for trusting the Dreaming to deliver us greater love that we must now learn how to receive?
More love.
Not less.
Art by Mia Ohki
