Penzancebury

31/05/2019

Well it’s been time since the last post mainly due to the fact we’re organising our biggest event yet “fender fad band fest “
Showcasing every band out there with half haircuts a Northern singing voice and the telecaster up to the armpits pose there is to offer!
Watch countless bands include the words by gum and chuffing ....
As well as a performance from the the glaciers are melting monkeys with their hit” I bet you look like a c**t on the dance floor “!!!
Tickets avalible soon via Simon Bessant ticket and p**n emporium

06/08/2018

Really big thank u to u all for asking what time it starts and never turned up anyway .. u make all the difference!! Give yourselves a pat on the p**s flaps⌚️

09/04/2018

Comming soon our sister festival “ old young beardy pipe smoker man fest”

14/03/2018

Due to circumstances beyond natural controll ken Dodd will be unable to perform at the festival we are working our hardest to incorporate an endo Skelton kind of structure similar to a terminator cyborg to recreate the show for yall... failing this the performance will feature Susan Boyle playing the part of ken Dodd

14/03/2018

Good news we’ve just secured a new site for the 2018 festival near st earth train station on some smack needle infested marsh land.... bring your wellies every stings a win!!!

13/12/2017

Seasons greetings!!! Have u secuerd your 2018 early bird tickets ?! Nows the time with our first headliner its ken dodd and his diddyc**ts!!! Yes thats right the dodfather himself is gracing our carboard box stage with his all new hide the sausage its our little secret show!!! Prepare for laughs, crys and a sacrafice of a virgin picked straight from the crowd!!!!

30/10/2017

Christmas is commin and what could cheer a family member up royally than a penzancebury gift card ???!!!!!!
Our new flexi plastic gift cards are packed with hot features letting you reap the rewards laughing to the bank as you go.

GOLD CARD... our premuim option includes two tickets to the ball sack. Museum situated in calais and alows you to treat yourself with a pay as go top up card accepted in over 2 high street outlets!!!!!!!
Browse the shelves of poundland and load up on walnut whips or run riot around wimpy in slough the choice is yours!!!!!

BRONZE.... for the ultimate rush this card gives you acess to all penzancebury events including the annual gary glitter appreciation evening and a backstage tour around the sweatshop that produces happy meal toys by child slaves!!!!!!!

SILVER..basically gets you a one on one consultation with the bloke from the sunlife over 50 plan ad .. ask him all the questions uv ever wanted about his one add two month career in acting!!!!

PLATINUM.... yes its the daddy of all v.i.p cards!!!!! Get whisked away in your own reserved national express seat where u will be taken to the talking point of all events ... yes u and a guest under the age of 85 will gain acess to the national conference of Newquay music venues..... book a gig cancel a gig book another gig get blown out... the surprises keep on comming!!!!!!* please note this experience does not garentee a paid gig in newquay... ever

14/09/2017

Unfortunately due to other commitments involving a cucumber and a cactus selotaped to a police night stick the wurzels will not be performing at this years event.... instead we welcome everyones favorites..... gravy stained shirt wearing waistcoat ensamble with single bas drum and folk tales of woe middle class half haircut band .

04/08/2017

Great to see things finally taking shape after a delay due to an unforeseen incident involving a spanner and pat butcher .... only a few weeks to go untill the gates will be open and all three of you can fill your boots wearing goggles and old young man clothes whilst taking on the persona of charlie chaplin walking around like life owes u a fu***ng favour lolol

22/07/2017

Its been quiet here at pzbury but now we can share details of our exciting secret special guest!!!yea mr wimpy will be tossing himself off over a bice fresh meat patty on the hour between 11 and 12

06/07/2017

Finally we can announce the festival closer with this bunch of rapists pleas be upstanding.... the orange organics https://youtu.be/e7YueVrn_u0

The opening titles to the 1st series of Pugwall.. pugwall's summer followed a few years later.

04/07/2017

Sat headline act sorted

02/07/2017

Its ben a crazy day but were happy to announce our sat nite headliner.. yes the rumours are true dobbin from 80s kids show rent a ghost will be treating us to a set of punchy one liners and english etiquette

01/07/2017

Great news the main structures taking shape ready for saggy ballbags.. the ska superfunk acid trio from nigeria.. dont forget our tier one early bird supersaver early entry backstage fo**le with fred west tickets are sold out.. tier 2 tix are still available including a handshake with Jeremy beadle .... onsale now at selected outlets below...

1) indian queens laundrette

01/07/2017

News just in !
In a most generous act of generosity, The Studio Bar have donated 3m of hessian to use as a backdrop on the food bank stage/pallet.
Cool 😎

01/07/2017

News just in its been confirmed our first act is the son of the brother whos aunts dad who used to warm up for cannon n ball.. hel be on the elevated midddle class palet

01/07/2017

What a pleasure it is to be part of this 48 stage festival set in the beautiful surroundings of long rock industrial estate

01/07/2017

No bands yet, or a venue...or anything else really !