12/11/2025
The 10 Commandments of Ultrarunning
1. Thou Shalt Not Go Out Too Fast.
For the trail is long, and the ego is weak.
2. Thou Shalt Honor Thy Crew and Volunteers.
For they feed thee, tape thy feet, and pretend to care about thy chafing stories.
3. Thou Shalt Eat Early and Often.
For once thou art hungry, it is already too late.
4. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Strava Splits.
Every runner hath their own suffering to bear.
5. Remember the Aid Station, to Keep It Holy.
Rest, refuel, and thank the person who handed thee a quesadilla at mile 73.
6. Thou Shalt Embrace the Pain Cave.
For therein lies enlightenment, hallucinations, and sometimes snacks.
7. Thou Shalt Not Take Shortcuts, Except When Peeing Off the Trail.
Integrity is thy compass—modesty optional.
8. Thou Shalt Carry Thy Trash, Even the Sticky Gel Wrapper That Will Not Unstick.
Leave no trace, but leave plenty of salt.
9. Thou Shalt Not DNF Without a Damn Good Story.
For a worthy excuse is the only balm for a bruised ego.
10. Thou Shalt Remember Why Thou Runneth.
It is not for medals or glory, but for the absurd joy of moving far, eating junk, and calling it spiritual.
