a curiosity cabinet of the strange and fantastic
I am a lover of beauty, he of humanity. Each feels that the other has ignored great opportunities.
โTed Chiang, "Understand", ๐๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐ช๐ง๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด (2002)
Artist unknown.
Thou criest like a white cat upon the roof of the Universe; there is none to answer Thee.
โAleister Crowley, "Liber LXV Cordis Cincti Serpente sub figurรข ืืื ื", ฮฮตฮปฮทฮผฮฑ (1909)
Artist unknown.
The third kind thinks "I didn't suffer, so it's impossible that anyone else did."
Man thrives where angels would die of ecstasy and where pigs would die of disgust.
โKenneth Rexroth
So many questions, so little desire to investigate for answers. ๐คฎ
We must all descend into the realm of evil in order to vanquish it from within.
โGershom Scholem, ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ธ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐๐บ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ด๐ฎ (1941)
![Avast, ye scurvy ๐ดโโ ๏ธ dogs!โWilliam Shakespeare [probably]](https://img5.evepla.com/802/708/122141090708027081.jpg)
Avast, ye scurvy ๐ดโโ ๏ธ dogs!
โWilliam Shakespeare [probably]
In the universe where everything works the way it common-sensically ought to, everything about the study of Artificial General Intelligence is driven by the one overwhelming fact of the indescribably huge effects: initial conditions and unfolding patterns whose consequences will resound for as long as causal chains continue out of Earth, until all the stars and galaxies in the night sky have burned down to cold iron, and maybe long afterward, or forever into infinity if the true laws of physics should happen to permit that. To deliberately thrust your mortal brain onto that stage, as it plays out on ancient Earth the first root of life, is an act so far beyond "audacity" as to set the word on fire, an act which can only be excused by the terrifying knowledge that the empty skies offer no higher authority.
โEliezer Yudkowsky, "Above-Average AI Scientists", ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ (2008)
The voice of any camel has a wide range in pessimistic eloquence; beyond question a camel has a vocabulary and can say many things, all of them discontented.
โBooth Tarkington, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ญ๐ถ๐ต๐ฐ๐ค๐ณ๐ข๐ต (1927)
Still from ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ (dir. Jiลรญ Menzel, 2006).
Then the Venerable Ananda said to the Blessed One: "How, Lord, should we conduct ourselves towards women?"
"Do not see them, Ananda."
"But, Lord, if we do see them?"
"Do not speak, Ananda."
"But, Lord, if they should speak to us?"
"Then, Ananda, you should establish mindfulness."
โ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ข-๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข ๐๐ถ๐ต๐ต๐ข: ๐๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ข (trans. Sister Vajira & Francis Story, 1998)
Reason can determine nothing: there is an infinite chaos which divides us.
โBlaise Pascal, ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ด (1844) (trans. A. J. Krailsheimer, 1966)
It is said that in Ulthar, which lies beyond the river Skai, no man may kill a cat; and this I can verily believe as I gaze upon him who sitteth purring before the fire. For the cat is cryptic, and close to strange things which men cannot see. He is the soul of antique Aegyptus, and bearer of tales from forgotten cities in Meroe and Ophir. He is the kin of the jungle's lords, and heir to the secrets of hoary and sinister Africa. The Sphinx is his cousin, and he speaks her language; but he is more ancient than the Sphinx, and remembers that which she hath forgotten.
โH. P. Lovecraft, "The Cats of Ulthar", ๐๐ณ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต (1920)
Followed by ๐ซจ & ๐ซ , naturally.
Sometimes the hokey pokey really is what it's all about.
Comic is ๐๐บ๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด (2013) by Dave McElfatrick.
Zero, the point intermediate between positive and negative, is a portal through which every man must eventually pass.
โLouis Cyphre, ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ญ by William Hjortsberg (1978)
![[This type of] magic uses emotion as fuel for the engine, which is an exhausting and scatter-gun approach. It also quick...](https://img4.evepla.com/402/708/122138579594027081.jpg)
[This type of] magic uses emotion as fuel for the engine, which is an exhausting and scatter-gun approach. It also quickly becomes a feeding station for hungry parasites. It is also dangerous. A person who uses rage to magically attack an enemy has already lost: the magic is often poorly thought out, and thus bounces around causing all sorts of unforeseen calamities. It also exposes the weakness within the magician: if you are ruled by your emotions, then you can be ruled. Emotions catch us off-guard, and they make us act unwisely in many ways. And a soup made of unwise acts, emotion, parasites, and unthinking spontaneity with no long-term planning is a recipe for disaster.
โJosephine McCarthy, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ช๐ข ๐๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฆ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ ๐๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ (2018)
Art by .
If you haven't made your HGA look like this after your latest magical experiment blows up in your face, can you really call yourself a wizard? โจ
Photo is ๐๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ญ (2018) by Mark Coggins.
What is a magician?
'One who does magic' is the Magician's reply.
What is a magician?
'One who stands at the centre of everything' is the
Developing One's reply.
What is a magician?
'One who reflects the golden rays' is the Foremost
One's reply.
What is a magician?
'One who is I,' replies the Divine.
โJosephine McCarthy, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ช๐ข ๐๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฆ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ ๐๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ (2018)
Art is ๐๐ช๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ต by Andrew Ferez.
QUESTION: Did Dean Moorehouse tell you anything about anybody in the family, the Manson family, owning anything in their own name?
ANSWER: No, none at all; everything was one. He used to talk about the oneness and how everybody was โ how you gave up your identity and all of your wants and all of your desires and all your thought and became one, as one person.
QUESTION: Were you permitted to own property in your own name as a member of the family?
ANSWER: No.
QUESTION: Did Morehouse say anything about that?
ANSWER: He said that everything belonged to one and the one was Manson.
..
QUESTION: Were you aware of the fact that you were changing in some respect?
ANSWER: I was aware of it, but I was losing โ losing from what I had, it was going out of me, and thatโs why I left in December.
QUESTION: What did you feel you were losing when you left in December?
ANSWER: I was losing my โ myself, my individual thinking, like I was becoming Charles Manson and I was becoming the girls. I remember we could look into each otherโs face and it would be the same face; my face would be Mansonโs and the girlsโ faces would be Mansonโs, and just have one face.
โCharles "Tex" Watson, testimony from his trial for the charges of first-degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder (1971)
Strip from ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฎ (2006) by Ed Brubaker & Pablo Raimondi.
It is a secret which every intellectual man quickly learns, that beyond the energy of his possessed and conscious intellect he is capable of a new energy (as of an intellect doubled on itself), by abandonment to the nature of things; that beside his privacy of power as an individual man, there is a great public power on which he can draw, by unlocking, at all risks, his human doors, and suffering the ethereal tides to roll and circulate through him; then he is caught up into the life of the Universe, his speech is thunder, his thought is law, and his words are universally intelligible as the plants and animals.
The poet knows that he speaks adequately then only when he speaks somewhat wildly, or "with the flower of the mind"; not with the intellect used as an organ, but with the intellect released from all service and suffered to take its direction from its celestial life; or as the ancients were wont to express themselves, not with intellect alone but with the intellect inebriated by nectar.
โRalph Waldo Emerson, "The Poet", ๐๐ด๐ด๐ข๐บ๐ด: ๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด (1844)
Comic is ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ท๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ด (1995) by Bill Watterson.
O sweet spontaneous earth how often ... has the naughty thumb of science prodded thy beauty?
โE. E. Cummings, "O sweet spontaneous", ๐๐ถ๐ญ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด & ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐บ๐ด (1923)
Comic is "Near the End", ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ช๐ค๐ด (2018).
It was easy to imagine those pampered hands gripping a whip. Nero must have had such hands. And Jack the Ripper. It was the hand of emperors and assassins. Languid, yet lethal, the cruel, tapered fingers perfect instruments of evil.
โWilliam Hjortsberg, ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ญ (1978)
Finally, distractions in high-resolution!
Everyone steals in commerce and industry. I've stolen a lot, myself. But I know how to steal!
โThomas Edison, ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ญ๐ข: ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ณ๐ค๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ณ (1999) by Daniel Blair Stewart
Comic is "Thomas Edison's Nightmare", ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ต๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ (2012) by Matthew Inman.
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a God.
โJean Rostand, ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐๐ช๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐ช๐ด๐ต (1938)
"You're, er, insufficiently dressed, sir."
"What? I've got my hat on, haven't I?"
"Yes, sir-"
"Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery."
โTerry Pratchett, ๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐๐ข๐ต๐ค๐ฉ (2002)
A cowl is a perfectly acceptable substitute, however.
I really want to hear David Draiman with a Cockney accent now.
During the second interview we were asked why we wanted to be elves. This is always a problem question.
โDavid Sedaris, "SantaLand Diaries", ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐๐ค๐ฆ (1997)
If the eye could see the demons that people the universe, existence would be impossible.
โBerakhot 6, ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฅ [as translated in ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ญ๐ต'๐ด ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ญ๐ถ๐ฎ (1988) by Umberto Eco (trans. William Weaver, 1989)]
"You're here to fอiอgอhอt! โ not fอiอdอdอlอe."
Erich von Stroheim plays to type in this clip from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (1918) as a dastardly German officer during WWI with a particular dislike for long(er)-haired musician types. He would later go on to direct, among others, ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด (1922) and ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ (1924), widely considered one of the greatest movies ever made.
I had graduated from the D.W Griffith school of filmmaking and intended to go the Master one better as regards film realism. In real cities, not corners of them designed by Cedric Gibbons or Richard Days, but in real tree-bordered boulevards, with real streetcars, buses and automobiles, through real winding alleys, with real dirt and foulness, in the gutters as well as in real castles and palaces . . . I believed audiences were ready to witness real drama and real tragedy; as it happens every day in every land; real love and real hatred of real men and women who were proud of their passions.
โErich von Stroheim, from an unpublished article later reprinted in ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ: ๐ข ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ (ed. Joel W. Finler, 1972)
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (dir. Alan Crosland, 1918).
The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on Love states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: "Avoid, if at all possible."
โThe Book, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ณ'๐ด ๐๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐น๐บ (dir. Garth Jennings, 2005)
One wonders if sufficiently advanced extraterrestrial civilizations have done the same to humans.
But I will not deceive you by a pleasant prelude: I will rather tell you truly the things that are, as the gods have ordained them.
For of all things good and fair, the gods give nothing to man without toil and effort.
โProdicus, "On Heracles", ๐๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ข๐ฃ๐ช๐ญ๐ช๐ข by Xenophon (trans. E. C. Marchant, 1923)
Sometimes all it takes is love to forgive a marital indiscretion. That, and the magical power of mystic passes.
Footage from ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐บ๐ฆ๐ด (dir. Will Louis, 1915).
It was here he told me about "my chess game," as he put itโa story he loved to tell. It was a "blind-fold" game (one in which the player does not see the board). Anyway, he went to bed with the lady of his choice at the time, while his chess opponent sat at the board within easy talking distance, but where Crowley couldn't see it. The idea was to see if Crowley could achieve climax and call "Mate!" at the same time. As he said with great delight, "I did it!"
โGrady Louis McMurtry, "On Knowing Aleister Crowley Personally", ๐.๐.๐. ๐๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ 2:7-8 (1979)
For the ungodly said, reasoning with themselves, but not aright, Our life is short and tedious, and in the death of a man there is no remedy: neither was there any man known to have returned from the grave.
For we are born at all adventure: and we shall be hereafter as though we had never been: for the breath in our nostrils is as smoke, and the little spark in the moving of our heart:
Which being extinguished, our body shall be turned into ashes, and our spirit shall vanish as the soft air,
And our name shall be forgotten in time, and no man shall have our works in remembrance, and our life shall pass away as the trace of a cloud, and shall be dispersed as a mist, that is driven away with the beams of the sun, and overcome with the heat thereof.
For our time is a very shadow that passeth away; and after our end there is no returning: for it is fast sealed, so that no man cometh again.
Come on therefore, let us enjoy the good things that are present: and let us speedily use the creatures like as in youth.
Let us fill ourselves with costly wine and ointments: and let no flower of the spring pass by us.
Let us crown ourselves with rosebuds, before they be withered:
Let none of us go without his part of our voluptuousness: let us leave tokens of our joyfulness in every place: for this is our portion, and our lot is this.
โWisdom of Solomon 2:1-9, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ: ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ (1611)
Stills from ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด (dir. Jean-Luc Godard, 1960).
"Confound it!" I cried; "and if I am not Bedford, what am I?"
But in that direction no light was forthcoming, though the strangest fancies came drifting into my brain, q***r remote suspicions, like shadows seen from away. Do you know, I had a sort of idea that really I was something quite outside not only the world, but all worlds, and out of space and time, and that this poor Bedford was just a peephole through which I looked at life?
โH. G. Wells, ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ (1901)
Painting isn't an aesthetic operation, it's a form of magic designed as a mediator between this strange hostile world and us, a way of seizing the power by giving form to our terrors as well as our desires.
โPablo Picasso, ๐๐ช๐ง๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ฐ by Franรงoise Gilot and Carlton Lake (1964)
Art is ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐๐ข๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด (1517) by Lucas van Leyden.
I'll settle for a q***r hallucinogenic honey cult. ๐ฏ
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"You're here to fอiอgอhอt! โ not fอiอdอdอlอe." Erich von Stroheim plays to type in this clip from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (1918) as a dastardly German officer during WWI with a particular dislike for long(er)-haired musician types. He would later go on to direct, among others, ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด (1922) and ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ (1924), widely considered one of the greatest movies ever made. I had graduated from the D.W Griffith school of filmmaking and intended to go the Master one better as regards film realism. In real cities, not corners of them designed by Cedric Gibbons or Richard Days, but in real tree-bordered boulevards, with real streetcars, buses and automobiles, through real winding alleys, with real dirt and foulness, in the gutters as well as in real castles and palaces . . . I believed audiences were ready to witness real drama and real tragedy; as it happens every day in every land; real love and real hatred of real men and women who were proud of their passions. โErich von Stroheim, from an unpublished article later reprinted in ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ: ๐ข ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ (ed. Joel W. Finler, 1972) Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (dir. Alan Crosland, 1918).
Sometimes all it takes is love to forgive a marital indiscretion. That, and the magical power of mystic passes. Footage from ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐บ๐ฆ๐ด (dir. Will Louis, 1915).
Not the guru we deserve, but the one we need. ๐ฅฒ Footage from ๐๐ฐ ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ- ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ฉ- (๐ถ๐ฏ) ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ (2021) by Masoom Boomgaard.
Hermes has some pretty rad kicks, not gonna lie. Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ต๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ (dir. Georges Mรฉliรจs, 1907).
Me and the homies on our way to the party spot. Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐บ๐ข๐จ๐ฆ (dir. Georges Mรฉliรจs, 1904).
You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on dried grape vine? Footage from ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ (dir. Edward C. Taylor, 1914).
Remember the boombox scene in ๐๐ข๐บ ๐๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ? It was already done 76 years prior. Footage from ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐น๐บ (dir. C. Jay Williams, 1913).
Falling asleep on the job as an Olympian is never fun when Zeus is around. Footage from ๐๐ถ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฅ'๐ด ๐๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1908).
Even 113 years ago, putting up your own wallpaper was still something best reserved for a professionalโat least in some cases. Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ (dir. Ashley Miller, 1910).
Ever wanted to see a man battle an eagle to the death over a baby? Now's your chance. Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ค๐ถ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐จ๐ญ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ต (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1908).
Ah, an American Christmas. There's nothing quite like waiting up to see Santa only to tie him up with a rope, threaten him with a revolver, and force him at gunpoint to take you with him after he pleadingly tries to trade presents for his life. Footage from ๐ ๐๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ญ ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐๐ช๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ข ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1907).
What do you do when you need to convince your fiancรฉe that the woman she saw you with was actually your (fictional) sister? Get your college chum to dress up as her, of course! Just don't be too surprised when they start flirting with your future father-in-law. Also note the cozy ambiance of the Edwardian-era frat houseโguns on the wall, a human skull by the liquor tray, and a nude sculpture. All that's missing is a poster of Tupac. Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
Pay no attention to the mysterious figure standing in the background. I'm sure he won't be somewhere in the distance, motionless and staring, if you look out your window shortly after watching this. And no, he has nothing to do with the plot and is never mentioned in the film. Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ญ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1907).
Sometimes the film budget runs out before you can properly train your performing cat. Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
A demonstration of economic scarcity in action with millinery. Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
One man's trash is another man's beautifully festooned hat. Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
What do you get when you make a film of the fairytale "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" in America by the Edison Manufacturing Company in 1907? Why, a fever dream of furry bears, stop-motion animation, and gratuitous slaughter of both Momma and Poppa Bear followed by the forced captivity of Baby Bear. 'Murica, f**k yeah. The other two clips are posted in the comments. Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ '๐๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐บ' ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & Wallace McCutcheon, 1907).
An example of real flash photography. The photographer uses an air hose to blow flash powder (usually a mixture of a metallic fuel like powdered Mg with an oxidizer like KNO3) into the air at the time of ignition. It was, shall we say, somewhat hazardous. Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ท๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
People had a somewhat different response to getting photographs taken without permission back in the early 1900s. Also, just look at how big that camera is! Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ท๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
You know you're having a bad day when not only do you get tripped by a dog holding a clothesline, but gravity reverses and you proceed to roll uphill. Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฅ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & Wallace McCutcheon, 1906).
If only this was how neighbors normally responded to unjust attempts at eviction. Footage from ๐๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ท๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. โLord Darlington, ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฏ (1892) by Oscar Wilde Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
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