"You're here to fอiอgอhอt! โ not fอiอdอdอlอe."
Erich von Stroheim plays to type in this clip from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (1918) as a dastardly German officer during WWI with a particular dislike for long(er)-haired musician types. He would later go on to direct, among others, ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด (1922) and ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ (1924), widely considered one of the greatest movies ever made.
I had graduated from the D.W Griffith school of filmmaking and intended to go the Master one better as regards film realism. In real cities, not corners of them designed by Cedric Gibbons or Richard Days, but in real tree-bordered boulevards, with real streetcars, buses and automobiles, through real winding alleys, with real dirt and foulness, in the gutters as well as in real castles and palaces . . . I believed audiences were ready to witness real drama and real tragedy; as it happens every day in every land; real love and real hatred of real men and women who were proud of their passions.
โErich von Stroheim, from an unpublished article later reprinted in ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ: ๐ข ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ (ed. Joel W. Finler, 1972)
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ (dir. Alan Crosland, 1918).
Sometimes all it takes is love to forgive a marital indiscretion. That, and the magical power of mystic passes.
Footage from ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐บ๐ฆ๐ด (dir. Will Louis, 1915).
Not the guru we deserve, but the one we need. ๐ฅฒ
Footage from ๐๐ฐ ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ- ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ฉ- (๐ถ๐ฏ) ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ (2021) by Masoom Boomgaard.
Hermes has some pretty rad kicks, not gonna lie.
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ต๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ (dir. Georges Mรฉliรจs, 1907).
Me and the homies on our way to the party spot.
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐บ๐ข๐จ๐ฆ (dir. Georges Mรฉliรจs, 1904).
You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on dried grape vine?
Footage from ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ (dir. Edward C. Taylor, 1914).
Remember the boombox scene in ๐๐ข๐บ ๐๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ? It was already done 76 years prior.
Footage from ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐น๐บ (dir. C. Jay Williams, 1913).
Falling asleep on the job as an Olympian is never fun when Zeus is around.
Footage from ๐๐ถ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฅ'๐ด ๐๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1908).
Even 113 years ago, putting up your own wallpaper was still something best reserved for a professionalโat least in some cases.
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ (dir. Ashley Miller, 1910).
Ever wanted to see a man battle an eagle to the death over a baby? Now's your chance.
Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ค๐ถ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐จ๐ญ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ต (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1908).
Ah, an American Christmas. There's nothing quite like waiting up to see Santa only to tie him up with a rope, threaten him with a revolver, and force him at gunpoint to take you with him after he pleadingly tries to trade presents for his life.
Footage from ๐ ๐๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ญ ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐๐ช๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ข ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1907).
What do you do when you need to convince your fiancรฉe that the woman she saw you with was actually your (fictional) sister? Get your college chum to dress up as her, of course! Just don't be too surprised when they start flirting with your future father-in-law.
Also note the cozy ambiance of the Edwardian-era frat houseโguns on the wall, a human skull by the liquor tray, and a nude sculpture. All that's missing is a poster of Tupac.
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
Pay no attention to the mysterious figure standing in the background. I'm sure he won't be somewhere in the distance, motionless and staring, if you look out your window shortly after watching this.
And no, he has nothing to do with the plot and is never mentioned in the film.
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ญ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & J. Searle Dawley, 1907).
Sometimes the film budget runs out before you can properly train your performing cat.
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
A demonstration of economic scarcity in action with millinery.
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
One man's trash is another man's beautifully festooned hat.
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).
What do you get when you make a film of the fairytale "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" in America by the Edison Manufacturing Company in 1907? Why, a fever dream of furry bears, stop-motion animation, and gratuitous slaughter of both Momma and Poppa Bear followed by the forced captivity of Baby Bear. 'Murica, f**k yeah.
The other two clips are posted in the comments.
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ '๐๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐บ' ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & Wallace McCutcheon, 1907).
An example of real flash photography. The photographer uses an air hose to blow flash powder (usually a mixture of a metallic fuel like powdered Mg with an oxidizer like KNO3) into the air at the time of ignition. It was, shall we say, somewhat hazardous.
Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ท๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
People had a somewhat different response to getting photographs taken without permission back in the early 1900s. Also, just look at how big that camera is!
Footage from ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ท๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
You know you're having a bad day when not only do you get tripped by a dog holding a clothesline, but gravity reverses and you proceed to roll uphill.
Footage from ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฅ๐ด (dir. Edwin S. Porter & Wallace McCutcheon, 1906).
If only this was how neighbors normally responded to unjust attempts at eviction.
Footage from ๐๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ท๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1906).
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
โLord Darlington, ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฏ (1892) by Oscar Wilde
Footage from ๐๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ด ๐๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ (dir. Edwin S. Porter, 1907).