Sgt Claus

07/11/2024

If you’re gonna read my page to have to grow a sense of humor.

07/11/2024

Men you wanna be manly? Do this…

1. Drink coffee (strong) real coffee! Not Folgers! Not Maxwell house! Black rifle, Sumatra, Italian roast, French roast!

2. Lift weights! Not machines not light! Pick up something heavy! Then do it again (get the idea)!

3. Eat something for goodness sake. I see reel after reel of women 25-35 who say a dad bod with muscle rocks! Quit worrying about your “figure!”

4. Read! Books! News! Comics! Anything, just read!

5. Grow a beard! Nothing says I’m a man swimming in testosterone like 3 inches of thick plumage on your face! Yes I used to think they were nasty too…until I grew one. On a side note my wife has threatened my demise if I shave it off. Do it!

6. Eat meat! No woman really wants a vegan! Trust me!

7. Love animals! Puppies, kitties, rabbits, etc. It IS manly to have fur babies. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals. If you date a girl who doesn’t like animals….dump her!

8. Treat your girl like absolute royalty. Treat her like you’re a knight on a quest! Hey I’ve been married to one woman almost 40 years what do I know, right?

9. Quit being an idiot! Listen when she speaks! Compliment her on virtually everything! If the sun rises act like it was her doing. You’ll thank me later.

10. Be her protector! I don’t care if she shoots 300 on the rifle range…you be her wing man! No matter what they say they all love protection!

Rinse and repeat! No go out there and quit being a little skinny jeans wearing, twilight Tv show watching, calorie counting little wuss!

PSA: before you get your un**es in a bunch this was just for fun….maybe.

06/11/2024

Thank you very much to those purchasing my new book!

06/11/2024

Ok I have friends, close friends, who took the opposite side that did in the election. Do I shun them? Ostracize them? Demonize them? Abandon them? No! Am I disappointed in their choice? Yes! As they are disappointed in today’s outcome.

But here’s what I see: people declaring they will separate themselves from people on the other side of the vote. Citing they won’t associate with “those people.” “I stay away from hate!” They declare. Oh really?

I’m speaking to professing Christians right now, stop it! Just stop it! Jesus didn’t operate like that. He ate with sinners the Bible teaches. If you can ostracize people for how they voted you are no better than the side you voted against! That goes for both sides. Both sides!!

The election is over! Dress your wounds, stand up, quit crying and be an adult. The election is over! Stop stumping, quit gloating, stop insulting, be gracious and be an adult!

06/11/2024

I saw a Santa writing letters back to kids…in cursive! That letter might as well be a coded message from the CIA. LOLOLOL! IYKYK!!!

06/11/2024

Sitting on the porch drinking coffee with wifey.

Wifey: how does coffee get cold so fast?

Me: well the laws of thermo dynamics state that heat diminishes as cold air enters….

Wifey: *looks at me disbelieving*

Me: oh that question was rhetorical.

Wifey: exactly.

Oops.

04/11/2024

We live in a world that can’t even have a civil discourse. If you believe differently than someone else, you’re called names like… Traitor, communist, garbage, cult member. Etc.

We live in a world where you’re scared to drive on the freeway because if you accidentally cut someone off, they might shoot you. This is a violent disrespectful country.

I’m ashamed of the way people treat each other. Whatever happened to manners, kindness, and politeness?

04/11/2024

FINALLY got my bench press day volume dialed in! At 60 years old it’s easy to do too much (or too little). You gotta be:
1. Realistic
2. Consistent
3. Gradually progressing

Wow! The same things that work with training work in life. 

03/11/2024

Giant Nespresso eggnog latte!!!

02/11/2024

My wife Leesah Watson is an absolute treasure! She takes such good care of me and supports me in every crazy dream and endeavor I’ve ever had!

01/11/2024

Wifey made homemade chicken cutlets!!!

01/11/2024

Ok it’s November 1st….we’re up!!! Stand in the door! Green light GO!

01/11/2024

Sometimes when we make requests to God the answer is yes, no, or wait. There is one request that will always be a YES. When we ask God for wisdom the answer is always yes!

30/10/2024

Sometimes I wanna go see what it takes to get kicked out of a Planet Fitness! LOLOLOL!

29/10/2024

Ok folks hardcover coffee table book with extra features is up!

Debra Walters is in charge of the McAllister's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Raleigh, North Carolina. She has to suddenly replace her Santa Claus in the Parade, sound familiar? Guess again. The homeless man from England she hires to be Santa looks, acts and sounds like the real thing. Actually he's ...

29/10/2024

Yes!! It’s real!!!

29/10/2024

Black Friday special!! Nov 29 to Dec 1 you get Santa AND Mrs Claus for your event (party, function, or store sale) for the low price of $125! That’s an hour of greetings, jollyness, and photos! You get both of us not just one! Hurry! This special is for limited time!