10/06/2024
it has been 14 months. i have survived the first round of birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, milestones, every single day in between, and am making my way around again. i am here now. lately i have been getting washed away by the tides of life and pushed into different wormholes, but i felt compelled to check in as i have now found myself here, one year later.
these photos are from april 2023, my first days in this world. an alien world where everything i had ever known, including physical laws and spiritual beliefs completely broke down. i was suspended in space and time - my soul displaced from this plane of existence, while remaining tethered to my human body and mind still on earth. living purgatory. neither here nor there, unallowed to move further in either direction. i was furious with the higher forces that could allow this magnitude of pain and darkness into this realm. through failed negotiations, they showed me quickly that the only viable path was the one that would take me forward. forward into my grief, into the reality of the loss (for myself, our family, our community), and ultimately into a new life. i struggled greatly with accepting this then and still cycle through periods of tremendous difficulty with it now. but i have managed to make it to today. these photos are some of the earthly creatures and forces that supported my early survival when i could hardly support myself.
