Endue

19/01/2023

It’s crazy to think how far I’ve came since I started mulling over the idea of what I was wanting out of life exactly and how I was going to get there..

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…how many miles I’ve taken from then to how much farther I have to go.. how far I’ve came from the mindset I was in on this day to how excited I am to see how much more I get to go from here.☺️

Can never

Just out here tying up loose strings

16/06/2021

With my transition to more veggie based meals I’m finding I’m actually enjoying not having to worry about the keep and care it takes to make sure meat isn’t going bad.. for starters.. for seconds, which I’m not having anymore.. I’m more full and it’s a lighter full with that.

I’m still having some trouble with cravings for chicken, turkey or steak sometimes.. there are times a cheeseburger just looks or sounds good.. and of course if a meal is being cooked I really don’t wanna be rude and not eat what I’m offered..

I have slowed way down on my meat consumption.. with the few and far between meals still consisting of it.. I’m finding more and more veggie based meals I’m enjoying along the way.

This late lunch I’ve thrown together is probably my favorite so far.

My plate is loaded up with a salad mixture including romaine lettuce, baby greens, spinach, kale, broccoli, and carrots. I added some tomatoes, black beans, corn, and less than a serving size of wild mushroom and herb flavored couscous. For my dressing, I blended an avocado, some lime juice, cilantro, unsweetened vanilla almond milk, a itty bit of minced garlic for the oil, a couple dashes of some ginger, and of course some Chile habanero el yucateco so add some heat.

Keep up with me for more recipes along my journey as I continue cleaning up my eating habits.

16/06/2021

LONG TIME NO SEE GUYS

Another one done did bit the dust now let me tell you what..

I didn’t wreck my car this go around.. or get it stolen for the matter.. but bloooddddyyyy HEEEELLLLLL I was this close to having a 5th bitch fit if I wasn’t able to get my issues in line with my phone.
It’s been a chaotic mess of a whirlwind check for me. The struggle to keep my emotions in check with this one proved difficult to say the least.
Between past demons coming back up, internally and externally, all I’ve wanted to do was be in my groove by putting my nose to the grindstone and just work.
My bunkering down consists of drowning myself in projects and jobs to keep myself outta my head. Yeah I’ve been taking care of side jobs and focusing on other areas, but these aren’t paying the bills.
I’ve distracted myself long enough so now that I am back up and running fully and completely back online, ready to go.. I ain’t sitting back down. I got goooaalllss to make.. I feel like I’m just so much closer than I was before even though I’ve been outta pocket.. it’s just different these days. I’ve been needing different. Waaayyy difffeeerrreeenntt.

When I say NOTHING has ended up going the way I’ve wanted it to.. I can say I am at the point mentally to where I am okay with that, but I’m also better at keeping boundaries as well. I’m not at least eating s**t and putting myself out past my limits anymore.. with taking into account of me being in and out due to the complications I’ve been sorting through while trying to stay connected. Decisions made and thought processes had along the way have brought me to the conclusion that I’m pretty much a squirrel zig zagging in a road trying to scramble before the immediate danger approaching molly wops me upside the head, immediate danger being the need to make a decision based on the circumstance that’s about to get worse if I don’t make the right move soon.

My head will forever have a scar from the last physical knock I took to the dome.

I’m clumsy.. what can I say?! Physically, mentally, and emotionally… but I’m stumbling through life catching myself with each trip. At least I’m getting back up.. still going with all these scars.

I don’t mind it. I’m accepting who I am more and coming to the conclusion that all of this is what is molding me and making me who I am so I’m no longer fighting it.. but let’s go.. I’m ready for another round. Without all of these hits I wouldn’t be as colorful.. black and white, that’d be it.. no gray, reds, or purples, blues or greens.. the healing process is vibrant. There’s more to just one way or the opposite.. if I wanted either of those.. I wouldn’t have the knowledge I do today. I accept the hurt, the complications, the “what in the actual f**k’s..” I accept the challenge of getting through all of that to everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

It’s like I keep getting similar to different versions of what I believe to be my end game reward. It’s a beautiful level in itself each time I come up.. I’ve appreciated each moment as they’ve came.. and left. I have a better understanding of myself that I didn’t have in March even when I started the last jump.

Got sat down for facts. TWO TIMES. I’m coming back up thiiirrrssttiieerr than ever thooouugghhh.

“Uh oh here we go again
Where we going?
No one knows
Down a rabbit hole..”

Check out this rabbit hole I’m referring to.. not blaming it solely on Mercury in Retrograde, buuttt geeezzz looouuiiissseeee it helps knowing there’s something to back me up on this rebound.

I hope everyone of you guys are maintaining and keeping on keeping on..

If you can’t keep swimming and you feel like you’re drowning.. start drinking it.. s**t.. I don’t even know what to do at this point myself anymore. Gotta do something to get outta the water though right?
Oh, but don’t forget about the sharks coming towards ya too after you get outta that conundrum, you can just punch those guys in the nose though and move on.

03/04/2021

That morning I woke to some love from the sun.🧡


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🤨Do you even ?

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I had crashed a random campground in Arkansas late one night.. waking up the next morning to the birds whistling outside my car window was most the most peaceful alarm clock.
I was hesitant of my decision making with being as tired as I was that night, but I’m learning to stop second guessing myself and Im just gonna start following my heart without all the turmoil of weighing pros and cons.

I’m following my heart, the sun, and the wind that carries my spirit.☀️🍃

To follow where I’m being led.. be sure to keep up with my odyssey at any of the following links

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https://spark.adobe.com/page/pHZm7Me1dFSqI/

https://spark.adobe.com/page/N4VjCZcFrhJ04/

https://m.facebook.com/EndueSphere

https://www.instagram.com/p/CNMLJjpBIdq/?igshid=1v4akn37piyg6

02/04/2021

🙃How often do you second guess how far you’ve came? 👀🤨
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😓I’ve questioned my progress over the last three years more consistently than I’ve been assured in my path with no doubt, buuuttt🤔 looking back at these pictures alone tell me that I’ve blossomed and that is the only affirmation I’ve needed most recently.😁

I admit, I have had some trials and tribulations in the midst of my journey. 🥵 I’ve grew in more than a handful of ways amongst the hardships I’ve put myself through and in the lessons I’ve reluctantly needed to learn.. you could say my artistic eye has flourished, my mental health has had a vigorous spike, and my passion for my business is enduring with more attentiveness than ever before.☀️

That’s enough about me.. this isn’t the reason for this post. 🙈 I am wanting to let everyone who has had an impact on me over the years to know how thankful I am for being apart of this beautiful ride.. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for the connections I have made since 2017.

The energy I’ve been putting into this post has been nerve wracking to say the least. I was going to photo dump you with 80 photos📸 over the last 3 1//2 years.. mulled over on how to scatter them or line them up.. if it’d be appreciated, or if it’d be 😥taken out of context.. so instead I just decided to break up my trek in future posts.📝📖📚

Over the next month I will be letting you guys in my heart and also am willing to give a glimpse into the way the ones I love have opened my mind. I’ve been pushed to find my heart again and have drowned in my thoughts.. yet, I can’t begin to explain how absolutely thankful I am to have got over what I needed to in order to feel as weightless and free as I do now.

🙏🏻I thank each and everyone one of you who has had me to this point.. who’s been there, and even who wasn’t.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It is what it is, and it ain’t what I ain’t.

🧡💙This.. this is happiness.💙🧡



Endue

29/03/2021

Actuality of, “oh, how you must enjoy the heat.”
Accepting that it’s not about being comfortable..
it’s congenial vulnerability.
Alternative to such accustomed levels..

Awareness increase with a sense of deserving transcendence.
Asphyxiation.. irascibility... dancing in the rain.
Incantation for brighter incandescence... flood of current contentment.

Revolving flames with made up directions.. warmth of a soul with substance..
Illusions of magnetic resonance..
A platform built for discerning impressions.

14/03/2021

Event: Spring Bass Pre Party, Location: George's Majestic Lounge Fayetteville,AR, Starts: 3/18/2021 8:30:00 PM -05:00, Price: Free - $10.00

11/03/2021

Trying my best to alter my eating habits to having a more vegan diet. So far, I’ve struggled a few times since starting.. but I’m still trying. With this meal though, I don’t have to try near as hard..

Heat up a couple tablespoons of butter.. I used a salty stick for it.. I only had white rice here at the house, but I prefer to use brown.. it’s okay though, toss ya in about a cup. I always make a little extra when doing fried rice. Once browned, I used tomato bouillon and added in some water, about a cup. Just read the directions on the box if you can’t eye ball your amounts. Some jalapeño salt, garlic powder, and onion powder were added to taste.

Rinse can of black beans. Replace bean juice with some water.. Bit of butter.. tomato bouillon, minced garlic, little dash of some salt and pepper.. let cook.

I sliced and diced the button mushies and zucchini to preferred size and shape.. I wouldn’t cut em too little though.
In separate skillets I had a tad of butter in each heating up and I tossed my veggie chunks in.. seasoned em both with some paprika, cumin, onion salt, and garlic powder. I let those cook till the zucchini was still a little al dente.. of course cook to preference.

04/03/2021

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/gpAUzCMqTYib2Zc78

Moonlanderz- Stay tuned for for the underground 🎼🎧🎻🎷🪘🪕🎸🥁

04/03/2021

“Setting the Table”

I had a late start to say the least today, and an intended schedule full of launch offs. Well. I started running from the jump after having a late night working on the redesign of EndueSphere’s Instagram. I had woke to the realization of today’s date and was hit with a rush of emotions I didn’t prepare myself for. I got up and started doing what I do best, work.. to help push through it, because that’s how I’m pushing through these days. I’m working on myself, working more on my talents, working on my relationships, working towards obtaining more cherish-able moments in life, and working on finding passion in something each day. One of the ways I’ve been able to do all of that above in one go, is by cooking.. you know feeding two birds with one piece of grain is how like to get my jobs done.

I woke mid afternoon to see today is a day of remembrance for one of the best cooks that I have had the pleasure of sitting down to several meals with. That being said.. here’s to T-Raw... this one’s for you, for making sure I keep pushing through it. I wish you were here to taste how much more smackin my flavas be these days boogs. As many meals as we’ve tried one uppin each other on, helping each other with, or taking over from the other on.. we related, because we both feel that what matters most is the communions being had over a table set with an amazingly prepared dish and your family sitting around it. I’ve been challenging myself with each meal I prepare lately by doing something I haven’t done before or by trying to make what I’ve already made before better in some way. This was a meal I’ve done a thousand times, but I did spice it up a jazz different.

I mentioned it being a “hoe”made recipe on my personal page, because no lie.. there’s levels to how you prepare a meal.. I’ll explain that better in a later post to not stray too far from the intended subject of this one. I whipped this up pretty fast and wasn’t as conscientious of the health points on this one as I have been trying to be lately with what I cook. I really wanted that tex-mex breakfast diner type of feel to it honestly. Nailed it.

With the veggie oil hot on a 5-6 in the pan I threw in my diced potatoes, seasoned em up to taste with some lemon pepper; paprika; cumin; and tumeric, and covered em then regularly kept checking em and flipping to crisp. I started my chorizo in another pan then added the thinly sliced leftover brown sugar glazed and grilled pork loin to crisp up a bit with it on a level 4x With the refried beans.. I added some picodegallo salsa to jazz em up, just mixed the beans real well before adding the salsa and kept it on low while the rest was finishing up. Those farm fresh eggs though was what topped off the meal for me honestly.. half fried em up in some chorizo and scrambled em when they got a little over runny. Toasted some multigrain toast to top it all on personally, but do what you prefer.. solid meal by itself.. if you’re like me though, I gotta have that extra starch.

All that, that wasn’t that much given it was a concoction of already prepared meals anyways, just to sit down for the last meal of the “birthstaycation” with a dear friend.. priceless. I cooked a few meals over the course of the last few days, but this one in particular meant more for me today for reasons that are still hard for me to explain. I’m forcing myself to push through the making of this post of the dish even though it wasn’t that homemade of a meal or a traditional recipe.. this hoe made it.

Imma keep pushing through to keep making posts more somewhat like this one and others not like it more routinely.

Thank you for reading and following along with me as a I progress in my process. I appreciate my friends and family so much for the steady solid support I’ve had to push me as far as I have made it.
Much love most wishes.

Jenna Lee