13/08/2025
I have been in a space of Catch & Release. You know how they tell you catch flights, not feelings. That sense of release. As I have been closing out the last chapter, culinarily speaking - there’s been another skin that I have watched shrivel and die. At first, I was fighting this and then eventually, I gave up because resistance isn’t necessary when old versions have already dissipated. With that newness, I went back and started re-reading some old projects.
AFRODESIAC was my first cookbook and, if I’m honest, its full of testing recipes because at that time, I had a great deal of scattered energy, a brand that I was building and some visions I was determined to bring to life. I was in my mid-30s, hadn’t fully processed the significance of presence in particular spaces yet knew there were some stories that I needed to share. In present day, the book title ended up being more weighted than I anticipated. Most people know an “aphrodisiac” to be something -insert drink, food, or drug - that attaches itself to desires. However, as I’ve often said, it’s about the food, but really it’s about the people. That book did not shy away from what it means to continue to create within a body that others often chose to fulfill their dreams and then lay to waste.
I’ll let you decipher that however you’d like.
DEATH & THE GIRL was very different. It was as unexpected of a project as the deaths that inspired it. I had no desire to write this book the way that I did and even when I did. It cemented the chef I had became in my 30s and laid foundations for the business woman I had morphed into in my 40s. It contains some of my most raw stories and best recipes…to that date. And I say this because I feel like I have only gotten better….as a chef, as a business, as a woman.
Both books are a tale of multiple cities and closers to different versions of self. I’m excited for all the projects I’m crafting next. I said that I wasn’t going to write another cookbook and just like with the others, the universe gives me pushes. I’m not sure what all the next one will say but I know exactly where I need to be when I write it.
Are we there yet? I don’t know….you tell me.