15/07/2022
Vegan cheesecake and the laws of acceptance
I have always cooked and baked. Nothing serious, nothing fancy, but always taste-, flavour- and health-oriented. Then I had my burnout in 2018.
This unfortunate/fortunate event took a while to manifest and hit me like a heat-wave flattening everything out.
My mind was always overworked, constantly buzzing with thoughts, good thoughts, bad thoughts. It never stopped. Even at the middle of the night, it would just switch on making my mind race. On and on. For a while I felt I had no free-will.
To free myself from this constant noise, I occupied my hands. Long , long time ago, my wise Granny said to me: If you are troubled by your body, occupy your mind. If you are troubled by your mind, occupy your body.
So this is what I did. I started tasting food differently. I started cooking and baking. I kept my hands busy. This in turn stimulated my constant thirst for knowledge and understanding. So books. I bought about 300 of them and with some minor exception, I read them all. I used recipes from some of them. The books mostly served to understand and improvise afterwards.
What followed then was a period of a very , very happy eaters in my family and friends as mommy spent a good few hours a day cooking from the Michelin chefs books.. good times of intense, intense concentration and adequate ex*****on.
The negative aspect of such intensity was a quest for perfection. There was always something that could have been improved. The tastes were fine, I think. My palate is in training, but I like to think that I rather understand flavours and flavour combinations (just my immodest take on it here). But the visual aspect was a different matter. If the edges were not perfect, one too many bubbles of air visible, the cut not at the right angle..there was always a reason for self-criticism.
This picture is a perfect/imperfect example. Back then I thought it only showed how imperfect and unprofessional this cheesecake was..
Today, I remember how absolutely delicious it was- sweet, tangy, creamy and crunchy- yum. And the picture? Today it looks pretty lovely to me.