Keith "Aussie" Eleftheriou - Celebrant & Emcee

29/01/2025

"I was going to launch into a story of Biblical proportions, about how these two met when Jemima called in on Glen at his engineering firm and left with a warm fuzzy feeling as well as his advice on rectifying an issue with her horse float.

And I was also going to wax lyrical on how they grew close over the course of a couple of years and plenty of Friday night work drinks, and how Glen invited her home for a feed served on paint tin lids.

There was also the story of how it came to pass that they mutually agreed to pay an extortionate amount of cash to this here deviant in the hope of receiving a Government-sponsored rubber stamp of approval to their joined existence.

I could tell you that, but I won’t..."

I was coaxed out of the ceremonial wilderness by a lovely couple who I suspect were turned down by others. A shared love of dogs, cars, and drinks certainly made my decision to come out of exile easier...

What started out as a simple ceremony escalated rather quickly as I suggested some minor details; how about having a photographer, and a reception.

With a small of her fingers, Jemima made it so.

Add in a pair of Clydesdales, and a mad Scotsman in a kilt, and Hey Presto!

Aussie was back.

Congratulations to Jemima & Glen on their Big Day Out. See you for drinks soon.

Photography (raw data) by Cohen Simpkins.
Planning by Renée Eleftheriou.
Catering by Country Feasts (the pork belly was not on the menu!!).
Fu***ng Huge Horses by Hugh.

27/09/2024

Well, that didn't last long, did it?

OK guys, you know (one) of the most important things in my life is my beloved , and rides feature big in my fight against my inner demons, so when it was confirmed that the single best rally I have attended to date - The Kickdown Festival in Whangamata - is back early next year, Yours Truely intends to be there.

But, I want something more.

If anyone is aware of a couple who are looking to be married around the 8th February 2025, and would like to be married amongst 5000 or so partying two-wheeled maniacs, and would love to be able to say that they had The Dudes and Kora (amongst others) playing at their wedding, then please get them to get in touch with me.

I've done many a wedding, including weddings for fellow bikers, but I would love to perform one at a bike rally, and none would be better than The Kickdown Festival...and it also allows me to keep my license valid.
..so please share this via any channel you can, and lets see if we can make this happen.

Humbly Yours

Aussie, The Bacchanalian Biker

Send a message to learn more

11/04/2024

And that's a wrap!

While I'll never say never*, a huge Congrats to Stacey & (scruff) Nate who gave me full freedom in sealing their respective fates on their Big Day Out, and I couldn't have asked for a better couple to sign out on. It's not often you actually befriend your couples, but these two are worthy.

Was a shame I had to work the following day, for the wine doth flowed!

(photos courtesy of Andrea Kewish Photography)

*a return from retirement will depend on two weddings; my good pal Micky B, and Taylor Swift's - although I'm not sure I can officiate my own wedding.

03/02/2024

While my lovely wife is officiating in Oxford for Kayla & Stu, I'm up in (thankfully) sunny Nelson to destroy the lives of Rachel & Jamie.

13/01/2024

As most will know - especially those mad couples I've married during the height of summer - I don't do heat, which is why today I find myself locked inside with the air con running as the temperature climbs towards the high 20s...and taking the opportunity to write up a wedding (February in Nelson) and a funeral (Christchurch, no fixed date*).

27/12/2023

What's for dinner?

Fu***ng potato salad and ham.

Again.

F**k I hate post-Xmas dining.

06/12/2023

Symbolising strong roots and a relationship that's made to last, wood is the traditional gift given on your fifth wedding anniversary.

Knowing Malcolm, he won't know this, and if he did he would likely buy a wooden spoon...knowing Pang, she will take that spoon, and they will have to change the sixth wedding anniversary gift to bandages and antiseptic cream.

One of the great couples who share the same cheeky sense of humour as myself, Happy Fifth guys!!!

19/11/2023

As anyone knows, I'm partial to a le***an, or two, so when lovely ex-neighbour and friend, Sammy, switched codes and announced her engagement to the equally lovely Courtney, and asked if would join them, I was understandably ecstatic...
..as it turned out, it seemed that I may have misread the request.

*sigh*

Three years after their wonderful Big Day Out, I still live in hope...

Happy Anniversary, you beautiful creatures ###

11/11/2023

It's great to be back...

&Caitlyn

07/10/2023

So as not to freak out my upcoming weddings in 2024 and 2025 - notwithstanding those remaining this year - I have just completed my request to renew my role as a Celebrant and now fingers crossed that they fall for it...
..but seriously, take note of this from the Dept of Internal Affairs;

"Every person who falsely pretends to be a marriage celebrant and solemnises any marriage, knowingly and wilfully so doing, commits an offence and shall be liable on conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 5 years."

26/09/2023

If you're not laughing, there's something very wrong with you...
..or your Celebrant.

10/09/2023

"And it was Karita’s mentions of “fish and chips”, and “sitting on someone’s deck at sixat night” that were like red rags to Mark’s twisted humour, and when one day Karitaturned up with bright red lippy, Mark couldn’t help himself and pointed out that shelooked like a clown wearing make-up, she snapped, and she threw a punch.
“It was a solid bloody throw, to be fair,” Mark explained to me.
But it started a friendship in the pair that grew, and over the next eight or ninemonths, a change in their dynamic.
Ironically everyone but the pair could sense the sexual tension in the bar, and whenone day Karita decided that Mark needed a woman in his life, when castration was
probably the better option to womankind.
And so she started on her quest, and as time went on and she failed to find anyonesuitable for her friend, she came to the realisation that the only woman perfect for
him…was her.
And she messaged him to that effect; “I can’t find you a girl, because it’s me!”
Awwwww…"

And so it passed to be that Karita and Mark exchanged vows and rings, turned down a monetary offer from a deviant Celebrant, and even survived a night in A & E.

Congrats guys, what a great day! Safe travels home!

30/08/2023

As the weather warms, and the days lengthen, I am slowly emerging from hibernation in readiness for the wedding season, and first off the rank is yet another disgusting mish-mash of Aussies fornicating with Kiwis coming out from sunny Queensland for their nuptials at Wigram Air Base, and then a couple of metal-heads at the Woolston Club; both bringing very unique music options into the bargain.
While I have played Queen in many ceremonies (including my own), Karita and Mark's choice of "Flash" is one I am looking forward to cranking at full volume, albeit for the "Beer Boy", and some T.I. and Bianco Brown makes their debut as well. Meanwhile, Lavina & Mitch have opted for some Evancescence and Amy Lee which have featured before, but in a first for me, they will walk out to Rammstein!!

10/04/2023

On the way to Bangor Farm - The Deer Shed I spotted what I thought were a bunch of Mormons on the side of the road, until Madam Thirteen pointed out that it was Dan, the Groom of the ceremony I was about to perform. It turned out the classic ride delivering the groomsmen could not deal with the somewhat large Tongan in the back seat, and s**t itself. So it was "The V8 Wedding Wagon" to the rescue, getting the lads, and then later the girls, to the wedding.

A little later than expected.

But that's why they entrusted me with their Big Day Out, I delivered, and what a day, what an occasion, and what a night.

A great couple that - despite everything life has thrown at them - did what they were destined to do; be together.

05/02/2023

Today* is a double Anniversary celebration;

First - and the couple who 'popped my cherry' - a good all-round bloke (and I'm not just talking about his girth) and half-decent front-rower, Vaugno, and the absolutely stunning Gabby. Hugs & Kisses to you both.

And then there is Ants and Amanda, tattoo-nirvana, and a hell of a laid-back couple. Hugs & Kisses to you both as well.

*as it turns out, both anniversaries are actually tomorrow - I ran into Vaughan in the street and wished him a happy anniversary and he freaked out a little thinking he had got the date wrong. Sorry bud - and to you Ants if I have had you running circles - my notifications are set for a day's notice. Oops.

04/02/2023

And it's a Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary to this great couple of boguns!