Exquisite Love

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Exquisite Love Philippe Lewis is a sex & intimacy coach and his company is called Exquisite Love What is an Exquisite Lover? Are you ready to become an Exquisite Lover?

An Exquisite Lover is a someone who engages with others first with curiosity and creativity. With listening and with expression, the Exquisite Lover dances with their full humanity. With intellectual, emotional, physical and erotic intelligence, the Exquisite Lover experiences who they really are and what they are made of -- their strengths, their limitations, their skills, their experience. With

focused attention, the Exquisite Lover discovers their state, their pace, their desires, their boundaries, and brings them exactly what they have been seeking -- with their consent -- in the form of connection, growth, depth, and exploration

An Exquisite Lover is always learning and growing. An Exquisite Lover is always in service to a greater purpose. An Exquisite Lover always seeks feedback and cleans up mistakes. An Exquisite Lover is, above all else, a person who wants to make a positive difference in the world, both with men and women. Contact me!

Happy ๐Ÿฆƒ weekend everyone!What a beautiful last few days itโ€™s been in the Bay Area, especially todayโ€™s sunshine yet cooli...
29/11/2025

Happy ๐Ÿฆƒ weekend everyone!

What a beautiful last few days itโ€™s been in the Bay Area, especially todayโ€™s sunshine yet cooling late falls daysโ€”my favorite!

Coming up Monday night will be a sweet connected dance event to warm our hearts as we gather to connect and play! Join us to meet my dear friend Maha and Brigitte who will be leading this beautifully sweet experience.

Cheers,
Philippe

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Dec 1 ๐ŸŒŸ Maha & Brigitte - ACโšก๏ธDC Authentic Connection through Dance and Chakras [Alchemy House OAK]
TICKETS: https://plra.io/m/dec1-mahabrigitte

For all levels.

This unique course blends dance and chakra work into a slow-paced, deeply embodied practice for self-reflection and connection with others.

Chakras act as antennas, helping us communicate, coordinate, and resonate with the universe and the energies around us. Through guided movement, youโ€™ll explore each chakra as a pathway to emotional awareness and authentic expression.

Youโ€™ll move both solo and with partners, using dance to activate emotion, heighten the senses, and practice nonverbal communication. Together, weโ€™ll explore how to attune to the shared field of energy, connect authentically, and move beyond thinkingโ€”into feeling and being.

Come join us to step out of your head, into your body, and into a space of true connection.

Bio:

David Mahabali MS, ATC, CSCS, (Maha Dave) is an Intuitive Somatic Bodywork, Ta**ra Educator, Wellness Coach, and Professional Cuddler. As a Kinesiologist and former University faculty member, he dedicated his life to bringing awareness around yoga and harm reduction. While exploring the body he noticed how partner dance can share subtle energy not present alone. His investigation in body sheaths opened up exploration in Somatic Experiencing and Authentic Relating.

www.catalysthp.net

Brigitte Wittmer is an international movement artist, performer, and transformational guide whose work bridges dance, somatics, and ritual. With nearly two decades of experience across 20+ countries, she creates transformative spaces where embodiment meets creative expression.

Trained at Faculdade Angel Vianna in Rio de Janeiro and creator of Liquid Leading in Brazilian Zouk, Brigitte has shared the stage with artists such as Deya Dova and Swiss musicians Gรถlรค & Trauffer. Her work has been featured at Envision, Fullbloom, Zรผrich Tanzt, and beyond.

Her practice integrates contemporary and social dance, somatic education, contact improvisation, yoga, parts work, and transpersonal psychology. Through movement and ritual, Brigitte guides participants into deeper awareness, authentic connection, and embodied wisdomโ€”empowering them to bring this integration into all areas of life, from personal to professional.

www.b-moving.com
IG

On Dec 31st NYE, Club Exotica presentsโ€ฆ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘จ๐’“๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’Š๐’‚๐’ ๐‘ต๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’•๐’”: ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’–๐’๐’•๐’“๐’š ๐‘พ๐’Š๐’”๐’‰ ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘บ๐’„๐’‰๐’†๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’‚๐’›๐’‚๐’…๐’† ๐Ÿช”Join over 300 guests for 16...
17/11/2025

On Dec 31st NYE, Club Exotica presentsโ€ฆ

๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘จ๐’“๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’Š๐’‚๐’ ๐‘ต๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’•๐’”: ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’–๐’๐’•๐’“๐’š ๐‘พ๐’Š๐’”๐’‰ ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘บ๐’„๐’‰๐’†๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’‚๐’›๐’‚๐’…๐’† ๐Ÿช”

Join over 300 guests for 16 Hours where Your S*xiest Wishes can come true! Full of Magical, Musical, Exotic, Dance, Community, Celebration, Exploration, and Playful Experiences! ๐ŸŒ™ Dec 31st 6pm to Jan 1st 10am ๐ŸŒ…

This is our HUGE annual New Year's Eve play party, with a vast array of amazing and hot humans, and it will fill up quickly! Make sure to invite your closest friends and RSVP right away, as we will sell out like previous Club Exotica parties.

๐ŸŽต Featuring David Starfire, Mah Ze Tar, and many more! See our ๐‘ญ๐‘ผ๐‘ณ๐‘ณ ๐‘ณ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฌ๐‘ผ๐‘ท below! ๐ŸŽต

Keep in mind that you have to RSVP first, and then be approved to join. This is so that we can curate the event well with just the right people, which if you're reading this, is very much likely to be YOU!

This is a 16hr party, and dinner, snacks, and breakfast will be served!

Full invitation and RSVP link: www.clubexoticapresents.com

Cheers, Philippe, Jocelyn
& The Club Exotica team!

(If you can't join us this time, you can join the Club Exotica Announcements WhatsApp here: https://tinyurl.com/fjztstjk)

โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”

๐Ÿ’Œ Dear lover,

On Dec 31st, Your Wish is Our Command:
Club Exotica invites you to enter the exotic world of
๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘จ๐’“๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’Š๐’‚๐’ ๐‘ต๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’•๐’”: ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’–๐’๐’•๐’“๐’š ๐‘พ๐’Š๐’”๐’‰ ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘บ๐’„๐’‰๐’†๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’‚๐’›๐’‚๐’…๐’† ๐Ÿช”

๐‘จ ๐‘ด๐’Š๐’…๐’…๐’๐’† ๐‘ฌ๐’‚๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’“๐’ ๐‘ต๐’†๐’˜ ๐’€๐’†๐’‚๐’“'๐’” ๐‘ฌ๐’—๐’† ๐‘ท๐’๐’‚๐’š๐’‡๐’–๐’ ๐‘ท๐’‚๐’“๐’•๐’š
๐‘จ ๐‘ต๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’• ๐’๐’‡ ๐’‚ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’”๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐‘ถ๐’๐’† ๐‘ท๐’๐’†๐’‚๐’”๐’–๐’“๐’†๐’”
๐‘จ ๐‘พ๐’†๐’๐’ ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘ซ๐’†๐’๐’Š๐’„๐’Š๐’๐’–๐’” ๐‘พ๐’Š๐’”๐’‰๐’†๐’”

๐ŸŽง ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘พ๐‘ฐ๐‘ป๐‘ฏ ๐‘ซ๐‘ฑ'๐’” ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐ŸŽง

๐‘ซ๐’‚๐’—๐’Š๐’… ๐‘บ๐’•๐’‚๐’“๐’‡๐’Š๐’“๐’† ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ด๐’‚๐’‰ ๐‘ป๐’† ๐’๐’‚๐’“
๐‘จ๐‘ณ๐‘ฐ๐‘จ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ณ๐’Š๐’’๐’–๐’Š๐’… ๐‘ณ๐’๐’—๐’† ๐‘ซ๐’“๐’๐’‘๐’”
๐‘ถ๐’–๐’•๐’†๐’“๐’”๐’†๐’„๐’• ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘พ๐’‚๐’•๐’”๐’๐’๐’Š๐’™
๐‘บ๐’Ž๐’๐’Œ๐’†-๐‘บ๐’‚๐’Ž๐’‚ ๐‘บ๐‘ญ๐‘ฟ
๐‘ช๐’‰๐’๐’๐’“๐’๐’‘๐’‰๐’Š๐’ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ฝ๐‘ฌ๐‘บ๐‘ฐ๐‘ช๐‘จ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ
๐‘ซ๐’‹ ๐‘ธ๐’–๐’Š๐’๐’•๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’†๐’๐’„๐’†
๐‘จ๐‘ฒ๐‘จ๐‘บ๐‘ฏ๐‘จ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ฑ๐’†๐’๐’†๐’ˆ๐’‚๐’…๐’†
๐‘น๐’‚

โœจ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘พ๐‘ฌ๐‘ณ๐‘ช๐‘ถ๐‘ด๐‘ฌ ๐‘ป๐‘ถ ๐‘ป๐‘ฏ๐‘ฌ ๐‘พ๐‘ถ๐‘น๐‘ณ๐‘ซ ๐‘ถ๐‘ญ ๐‘ช๐‘ณ๐‘ผ๐‘ฉ ๐‘ฌ๐‘ฟ๐‘ถ๐‘ป๐‘ฐ๐‘ช๐‘จ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ โœจ

This s*xy playful dance event will bring people from the conscious play party/temple communities of the Bay Area, including Club Exotica, Love Underground, Erotic Playground, Friends & Lovers, ISTA, Pleasure & Carsten's Temples, Shanti's Temples, Sham's Temples, Starry's Temples, Enki's Temples, The Love Party, Burning Man, Elina's Co-loving Blue Lotus events, Vanilla Vanilla, and many more!

The theme, "๐‘จ๐’“๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’Š๐’‚๐’ ๐‘ต๐’Š๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’•๐’”" invites guests to explore their deepest desires and make their wishes come true!

The night begins with scampering and dancing by the lake (the pool) followed in the evening by revelry. Then, when the time comes, a ritual designed to awaken your body and soul, and nourish your heart with sweet morsels of beauty will be performed. Afterward the Midsummer Night celebration will unfold with playful music, merry dance, sensual foods, lustful drinks, and adventures with a flock of gorgeous magical creatures until the following day.

๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘พ๐‘ฏ๐‘จ๐‘ป ๐‘ฐ๐‘บ ๐‘จ ๐‘ท๐‘ณ๐‘จ๐’€๐‘ญ๐‘ผ๐‘ณ ๐‘ท๐‘จ๐‘น๐‘ป๐’€?

As you walk in the door, you notice how well both men and women are dressed, how good, how open, how s*xy they look and feel. As you step deeper, the atmosphere gets warmer, the decor, the lighting is.. richer, more intimate, more vibrant. Here a woman is kissing another woman. Here a group of old and new friends are smiling at each other while caressing and nibbling faces, necks, arms and backs. The evening has barely begun, and already people are getting to know each other in fun, creative and sensual ways. The cocktail part of the evening is in full swing. Your nervous system feels safe and open with these friendly humans. And soon enough, everyone is here and the doors close as the guests gather into the main room and dance floor, to connect with each other in ceremony and ritual, to co-create a night of exploration of intimacy, relationship, sensuality and s*xuality. A night where your every dream can become reality. Where sensuous gaze and delicious touch mingle to awaken your deepest desires.

This is your world, the world of Club Exotica.

A Playful Party is an underground private dance eventโ€”with bassy, seductive, enchanting and, dreamy music to move your body with your lower chakras and heartโ€”and where all types of connectionsโ€”from great conversations to sensual and even s*xy play is allowed. No one is obligated to do anything in particular, however all are requested and encouraged to co-create a space of openness, a space of "yes", a space of respect and support. In that space, you are asked to co-create an abundance of freedom of expression, so you can be, do, desire, enjoy, and sensually or s*xually play as you wish it, when you wish itโ€”with yourself, another person, or a group of people who want to do exactly the same thing.

Playful Parties can either/both be spiritual or fun/playful events, and they most often incorporate some sort of storyline or characters that guests can impersonate, which we find can be very helpful in allowing for a more powerful or deeper experience.

More details here: https://tinyurl.com/tzb8d8tf

๐Ÿ’ฌ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ป๐‘ฌ๐‘บ๐‘ป๐‘ฐ๐‘ด๐‘ถ๐‘ต๐‘ฐ๐‘จ๐‘ณ๐‘บ ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ’ฌ

"๐˜ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ'๐˜ต ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ ๐˜Œ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ค ๐˜ฎ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ... ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ'๐˜ด ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต!"

"๐˜๐˜ฏ ๐˜Š๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ฃ ๐˜Œ๐˜น๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ข, ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜น๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ'๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต. ๐˜š๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜บ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ!"

"๐˜๐˜ฏ ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ซ๐˜ฐ๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต! ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ. ๐˜๐˜ฏ ๐˜“๐˜–๐˜๐˜Œ, ๐˜“๐˜๐˜Ž๐˜๐˜›, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ โ™ฅ"

"๐˜•๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜บ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต! ๐˜ˆ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ!!"

"๐˜“๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฎ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ป๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ. ๐˜ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง, ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ซ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฃ. ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฌ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ง๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ. ๐˜ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ด, ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ"
"๐˜ž๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ, ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ป๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ! ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ!"

"๐˜'๐˜ฎ ๐˜ด๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ... ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ. ๐˜ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ :-)"

๐ŸŽ† ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐‘ฑ๐‘ถ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต ๐‘ผ๐‘บ ๐‘ถ๐‘ต ๐‘ต๐’€๐‘ฌ! ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐ŸŽ†

Ready to embark on this magical night with us? We would โœจ ๐’๐’๐’—๐’† โœจ to have you!

Read the full details and RSVP here: www.clubexoticapresents.com

โšก Don't wait! Last time we sold out before the event and could have filled up the event with ๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽ ๐‘ด๐‘ถ๐‘น๐‘ฌ people than our capacity. RSVP'ing holds your spot, and refunds are easy to get if you can't join us after all.

๐‘ช๐’‚๐’'๐’• ๐’˜๐’‚๐’Š๐’• ๐’•๐’ ๐’‘๐’๐’‚๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’š๐’๐’–!

Hi everyone!It's finally happening! We're launching ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’†๐’„๐’–๐’“๐’† ๐‘ต๐’†๐’•๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’Œโ€”an ongoing attachment-healing community with work...
15/11/2025

Hi everyone!

It's finally happening! We're launching ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’†๐’„๐’–๐’“๐’† ๐‘ต๐’†๐’•๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’Œโ€”an ongoing attachment-healing community with workshops, integration calls, expert guidance, and real-time support. The launch call is ๐‘ญ๐‘น๐‘ฌ๐‘ฌ to join!

For those of you who are curious, it will be similar to ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’๐’Ž๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’„ ๐‘ท๐’๐’‚๐’š๐’ˆ๐’“๐’๐’–๐’๐’…โ€“an ๐’๐’-๐’ˆ๐’๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’‘๐’๐’‚๐’„๐’† ๐’•๐’ ๐’๐’†๐’‚๐’“๐’โ€“but focused on ๐’‚๐’•๐’•๐’‚๐’„๐’‰๐’Ž๐’†๐’๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’๐’“๐’š ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’“๐’†๐’‘๐’‚๐’Š๐’“, which as many of you know, takes a whole lot of time, so doing this ongoingly feels like the best way to grow and learnโ€“๐’•๐’๐’ˆ๐’†๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’“! _READ ON BELOW!_

Cheers,
Philippe

โœจโœจโœจโœจโœจโœจโœจโœจโœจ

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ก๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ธ ๐—Ÿ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—˜๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐Ÿ’ ๐—›๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—”๐˜๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ & ๐—•๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—Ÿ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ
๐Ÿ—“ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’…๐’‚๐’š ๐‘ต๐’๐’— 20๐’•๐’‰ โฐ12pm MT / 11am PT ๐Ÿ“ Zoom (link provided upon registration)

๐‘น๐‘บ๐‘ฝ๐‘ท ๐‘ฏ๐‘ฌ๐‘น๐‘ฌ: https://plra.io/m/the-secure-network-launch-event

Come for the launch event for ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘บ๐’†๐’„๐’–๐’“๐’† ๐‘ต๐’†๐’•๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’Œโ€”an ongoing attachment-healing community with workshops, integration calls, expert guidance, and real-time support. ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’ซ

Join us live to get ๐’†๐’‚๐’“๐’๐’š ๐’‚๐’„๐’„๐’†๐’”๐’” and full details. ๐Ÿš€

It's ๐‘ญ๐‘น๐‘ฌ๐‘ฌ to join the call! Read below for details!

โœจ If you've lived with insecure attachmentโ€”anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in-betweenโ€”you know the ache of wanting closeness while fearing it, the overthinking, the push-pull dynamics, and the exhaustion of trying to fix it alone. ๐Ÿ’ญโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿฉน

This launch event is your invitation into ๐’”๐’๐’Ž๐’†๐’•๐’‰๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’…๐’Š๐’‡๐’‡๐’†๐’“๐’†๐’๐’•. โœจ

The Secure Network is our new ongoing attachment-healing community designed to help you grow into ๐’”๐’†๐’„๐’–๐’“๐’†, ๐’ˆ๐’“๐’๐’–๐’๐’…๐’†๐’…, ๐’…๐’†๐’†๐’‘๐’๐’š ๐’„๐’๐’๐’๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’†๐’… relationshipsโ€”with support, practice, and guidance all year long. ๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿค
Starting this December, every month will include:

โค๏ธ ๐‘ญ๐’Š๐’“๐’”๐’• ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’…๐’‚๐’š โ€” Monthly Workshop (rotating experts) ๐Ÿ“š๐ŸŽ“ A deep-dive, skill-building workshop on attachment, communication, conflict, nervous system healing, and more.
โค๏ธ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’Š๐’“๐’… ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’…๐’‚๐’š โ€” Integration + Community Call ๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿ’ฌ We review the workshop from that month, use a guided reflection form, open the space for dialogue, connection, and even live coaching.

This is the ๐’๐’๐’๐’ˆ-๐’•๐’†๐’“๐’Ž ๐’„๐’๐’๐’•๐’‚๐’Š๐’๐’†๐’“ people have asked forโ€”the ๐’‰๐’๐’Ž๐’† ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’”๐’† for healing and secure relating. ๐Ÿก๐Ÿ’š

At the launch event, we will reveal:

๐ŸŒŸ The full monthly schedule ๐Ÿ“…
๐ŸŒŸ Themes of the first workshops ๐ŸŽจ
๐ŸŒŸ How to join the community ๐Ÿ”‘
๐ŸŒŸ Early access to practitioner pathways (for coaches/therapists/facilitators) ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ
๐ŸŒŸ Retreat updates (including our newly expanded 7-day Hawaii retreat) ๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿ
๐ŸŒŸ Our special launch pricing ๐Ÿ’ฐ

Here are what the ๐‘ด๐’†๐’Ž๐’ƒ๐’†๐’“๐’”๐’‰๐’Š๐’‘ ๐‘ถ๐’‘๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” will look like moving forward:

๐ŸŒŸ Single workshop pass (starting in December): $27
๐ŸŒŸ Monthly membership: $20/month
๐ŸŒŸ Annual membership: $197
๐ŸŒŸ ๐‘ณ๐’‚๐’–๐’๐’„๐’‰ ๐’”๐’‘๐’†๐’„๐’Š๐’‚๐’ ๐’‚๐’๐’๐’–๐’‚๐’: $79 โšก
๐ŸŒŸ ๐‘ณ๐’Š๐’‡๐’†๐’•๐’Š๐’Ž๐’† ๐’Ž๐’†๐’Ž๐’ƒ๐’†๐’“๐’”๐’‰๐’Š๐’‘ (founding 150 people only): $99 ๐Ÿ‘‘

The first 150 members will become ๐‘ญ๐’๐’–๐’๐’…๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐‘ด๐’†๐’Ž๐’ƒ๐’†๐’“๐’”โ€”recognized inside the community and given special privileges, benefits, and milestone opportunities that will ๐’๐’†๐’—๐’†๐’“ ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’๐’‡๐’‡๐’†๐’“๐’†๐’… ๐’‚๐’ˆ๐’‚๐’Š๐’. ๐ŸŒŸ

๐‘ฑ๐’๐’Š๐’ ๐’–๐’” ๐’๐’Š๐’—๐’†: ๐Ÿ—“ ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’Š๐’” ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’…๐’‚๐’š ๐‘ต๐’๐’— 20๐’•๐’‰ โฐ 12pm MT / 11am PT ๐Ÿ“ Zoom (link provided upon registration)

Come learn what's possible when attachment healing is ๐’„๐’๐’๐’”๐’Š๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’๐’•, ๐’“๐’†๐’๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’‚๐’, ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’”๐’–๐’‘๐’‘๐’๐’“๐’•๐’†๐’…โ€”not a solo journey. ๐Ÿคฒโœจ

๐‘น๐‘ฌ๐‘บ๐‘ฌ๐‘น๐‘ฝ๐‘ฌ ๐’€๐‘ถ๐‘ผ๐‘น ๐‘บ๐‘ท๐‘ถ๐‘ป ๐‘ฏ๐‘ฌ๐‘น๐‘ฌ
https://plra.io/m/the-secure-network-launch-event

This coming Monday in Oakland at Alchemy House for The Somatic Playground, Iโ€™m back with my famous sensation play class,...
24/10/2025

This coming Monday in Oakland at Alchemy House for The Somatic Playground, Iโ€™m back with my famous sensation play class, with a twist: learn the โ€œmovesโ€ with deep attunement to your partner, playing them like a musical instrument where the โ€œsoundsโ€ they produce are felt as pleasure in their body and nervous system.

I also still need a demo person for the class. If this is you, please let me know!

See you then!

Cheers,
Philippe

Oct 27 ๐ŸŒŸ Philippe Lewis - The Art of Attuned Sensual Touch [Alchemy House OAK]
https://plra.io/m/oct27-philippe

No partner necessary!

Bring an intimate partner to take things deeper!

In this fun, hot and playful class, you and your partner will begin to expand your repertoire of touch skills and role play. First, you will learn simple yet powerful embodied ways to attune to your partner, their heart, their body, and their animal. Then you will learn to interact somatically with others such as caresses, nails, bites/nibbles, light hair pulling, grabbing, kissing, light spanking, pushing/pulling, wrestling/pinning, flirting/teasing, and more.

This practice is much like learning how to communicate with another human in a language of physical touch, pleasure, and sensations. You will have the opportunity to โ€œspeakโ€ to each other through the combined various touch skills and will be able to "read" your partner's responses through breath, movement, sound, and touch. And as you become more and more fluent in this language, the result will be greater and deeper ease in communicating through touch and play and better listening to your partner when it comes to connecting with their body, whether for playful, sensual, or s*xual interactions.

Consent/Sovereignty: All skills will be taught in a container of attuned consent to make all engagements fun, safe, and powerfully transformative for everyone.

Who: This class is both for single and couples. Friends coming with friends with the desire to practice these skills is also great.

What to bring/wear: Participants should wear comfortable clothes that allow access to the body and skin.

โ€œIt was so great to take your class on attuned sensual touch.... I learned a lot! I really appreciated your dynamism, realness and sense of humor!โ€

โ€While at a conference in Hawaii, I was fortunate to attend a workshop facilitated by Philippe. This workshop focused on very light sensual techniques pretty much for beginners although I cannot say that everyone in attendance was a beginner. I certainly was very new to this aspect of play and I found it fascinating. Philippe demonstrated many techniques (biting, nails, pulling hair, spanking and more) โ€” all things that can either be extremely sensual or very scary to the recipient depending upon how they are delivered and the conversation that takes place ahead of time. Philippe was masterful at describing the conversation for agreement and then demonstrated each technique with a different volunteer from class. I thoroughly enjoyed the workshop and found it to be stimulating, sensual and informative. Plus, I was the hair pulling model and I found it to be much more yummy than I anticipated. Check Philippe Lewis out! Heโ€™s fun and hot!โ€
โ€” Laurie Handlers, ISTA Lead Facilitor ~ ButterflyWorkshops.com

Bio

Philippe is a passionate relationship educator and founder of Exquisite โฆ Love. With a mission to empower men and women in making informed and positive choices for themselves and their partners, Philippe guides individuals on transformative journeys to become sovereign beings through the art of connection, trust, consent, intimacy, and love. Drawing from the profound insights of attachment theory, he helps people explore the depths of human connection and understand the dynamics that shape their relationships.

Philippe's impact in the realm of personal growth and self-discovery extends far and wide. As a co-founder of The Journey to Secure, he fosters a supportive community of like-minded individuals on a shared path of growth and an earned attachment style. Additionally, his role as a coordinator with the International School of Temple Arts, showcases his dedication to fostering open-mindedness and personal exploration.

Over the years, Philippe has been instrumental in founding vibrant communities that tackle essential topics. The Open Relationship Community, the Attachment Community, and the Consent Community provide safe spaces for individuals to engage in emerging discussions, redefining societal norms, and promoting healthier relationship dynamics.

Philippe is also well known for the creation of a vast array of conscious play spaces and playground such as Club Exotica, Love Underground, The Erotic Playground, and the FireLight micro-festival, as well as embodiment spaces such as The Somatic Playground where participants can find and learn about how to relate with each other at all levels.

While Philippe's professional accomplishments are inspiring, he cherishes a role that brings him immense joy and growth - that of a proud and loving father to a 13-year-old teen. This cherished relationship teaches him the invaluable lessons of surrendering to love and embracing life more fully with each passing day.

Philippe's life's work revolves around illuminating the path to enriched human connections and fostering a more compassionate and understanding society, one relationship at a time. His dedication to personal growth, coupled with his commitment to empowering others, sets him apart as a true visionary in the field of relationship education.

Join my Announcements WhatsApp group: www.bit.ly/4fMV38H

See my Offerings page: www.exquisite.love/this

IG &

SAVE THE DATE! โœจDec 31 NYE(and grab one of the few early bird tickets!)Club Exotica PresentsARABIAN NIGHTS ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธโ€œThe Sult...
23/10/2025

SAVE THE DATE! โœจDec 31 NYE
(and grab one of the few early bird tickets!)

Club Exotica Presents
ARABIAN NIGHTS ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™€๏ธ
โ€œThe Sultry Wish of Sheherazadeโ€ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป
A playful party, a story of magical exotic lands and creatures!

Evolving Details and RSVP (you know it will be EPIC!) here:
www.clubexoticapresents.com

๐Ÿซฆ Exploring Non-Monogamy with The Boundary Card Game ๐Ÿ“† When: Tuesday Dec 9 - 7-9pm๐ŸŒŸTickets: https://plra.io/m/exploring-...
10/10/2025

๐Ÿซฆ Exploring Non-Monogamy with The Boundary Card Game
๐Ÿ“† When: Tuesday Dec 9 - 7-9pm
๐ŸŒŸTickets: https://plra.io/m/exploring-the-boundary-card-game-dec9

Hi everyone!

Weโ€™re doing it again after receiving many requests of the people who could not make it in the short notice of the last class!

This class is perfect for you if youโ€™ve had frustration related to having conversations with a partner or lover around each of you playing with other people, together or separately.

The boundary card game is designed not only to help you craft agreements that feel considerate to you and your partners, it will also support everyone in understanding and supporting what matters most for each and create a solid bond between you.

Each participant will also receive a digital copy of The Boundary Card game and receive a discount code to order the physical deck for the price of shipping only.

DM me with any questions!

Cheers,
Philippe

๐Ÿซฆ Exploring Non-Monogamy with The Boundary Card Game
Tuesday Dec 9 - 7-9pm

๐ŸŒŸ TICKETS ๐ŸŒŸ

https://plra.io/m/exploring-the-boundary-card-game-dec9

๐ŸŒŸ About the Class ๐ŸŒŸ

Join us for a fun online class where you'll get to discover the nature of the bond between you and your partner, and between your partner and you, and how to care for it well as you explore with others (together or separately.

For non-monogamy to work, it's crucial to extend care and consideration towards your partner and the bond that connects the two of you as each of you engage with other people and as they engage back!

In this class you'll:

๐Ÿซฆ Receive a digital copy of the boundary card game (which you can print and use, or you can order the physical deck by paying for shipping only)
๐Ÿซฆ Learn how to use the game to better understand the nature of the bond between you and your partner as well as creating engagements with others with deep care and consideration for each other
๐Ÿซฆ Explore ways to push your and your partner's edge without putting on too much pressure
๐Ÿซฆ Make it easier to speak about what matters most to each of you or what is most scary for each of you without fear, and how to find a middle ground what feels great to both
๐Ÿซฆ Learn how the boundary (the line of what feels okay/right when it comes to your partner playing with others) looks different for each of you (and learn why it's normal and okay)

Come alone or with a partner, this will be a fascinating and captivating conversation about collaborating towards co-creating a non-monogamous relationship that is full of sweetness, playfulness, care, and consideration.

The "boundary card game" is actually much more than a game and much more than just about boundaries. Getting a sense of what is "okay" for one partner when they consider their partner playing with others represents a much deeper sense of how they conceive of the bond between them, and this looks different for each partner. This tool allows couples to finally have a conversation about what matters to them (in other words their values) in their relationship, and what both partner can do to support this bond between them even as they engage and play with others, leading to a deeper more secure relationship.

๐ŸŒŸ What is Considerate Non-Monogamy (CNM)? ๐ŸŒŸ

CNM goes beyond consent by bringing consideration as a core value of relating non-monogamously. Instead of simply seeking consent, considerate non-monogamy extends one's consideration to other partners by expressing this simple practice: "What matters to you, matters to me!".

We believe that for relationships to work well, each partner has to bring enough attunement, care, and consideration to the mix to support the relationship in being relationally healthy.

This is also how secure relating (from an attachment theory perspective) works; humans consider and include the people that matter to them as part of their decision process, much like parents consider their family--their partner and children--when making decisions that will affect them. Similarly, we believe that considerate non-monogamous people engage and make decisions that consider the impact of their actions on their lovers, partners, friends, and community.

Relationality thus becomes the waters the considerate non-monogamous person navigates and lives in.

๐ŸŒŸ The Story of the Boundary Card Game ๐ŸŒŸ

The Boundary Card Game: A Way to Discover Boundaries And Design Healthy Agreements Between You And Partner(s) to create beautiful Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships

A long time ago, Philippe and Paget made a thing on bits of paper to help them understand the boundaries they wanted for each other when it came to connecting with others.

They called it The Boundary Card Game

For many years this thing lived as a doc and they would send it to people and clients who wanted to have the same conversation with their partners and lovers.

And now it finally exists as a real physical thing, and it's been upgraded to help people design healthy rules and agreements to reflect the healthy boundaries, needs, pace, and desires they have for themselves and in their relationship, especially in the context of playing with others at play parties and "temples" (a spiritual version of a play party)

If you've had a difficult time or have felt frustrated with having a conversation with a partner about what is okay or not okay for them when it comes to you connecting with others, or the other way around, this is a game changer. Also if you're a therapist or coach and would like to get a deck for yourself to possibly recommend as a tool for your clients, please let us know!

๐ŸŒŸ About Philippe & Paget ๐ŸŒŸ

Philippe and Paget have been together for 21 years, married for 17. They have a beautiful secure open nesting co-parenting best-friendship partnership. Out of this relationship they call "Afthonia", greek for abundance, they created an amazing secure creative human named Phoenix who is now a 14yo teen boy. Together they are "Three P's in a Pod" as a sweet family living in North Oakland, California where they each pursue and support each other to explore what fascinates and captivates each of them!

๐ŸŒŸ Testimonials ๐ŸŒŸ

โ€I wanted to share about my experience playing the boundary card game with my partner (this is my first time navigating an ENM connection). The game was a really beautiful way to learn more about each other espiespicallyce we had freshly come out of a space of mending and it helped us to reconnect. The cards gave us a framework that supported dropping into a deeper level of intimacy than usual for us because we didnโ€™t have to think about the questions to ask. We had space to explore our feelings instead of searching for structure to prompt intimacy. For my partner, sometimes being asked direct questions sends him into a more logical framework. With these cards, we were able to share our stories and get to know eachother at a deeper level. Thank you Philippe & Paget for the transformational and insightful game! ๐Ÿ™โ€
~ Adrienne

I USED TO BELIEVE I WAS SECURE, AS MANY PEOPLE DO... ๐Ÿ˜ŒBut as I started to look more deeply into my own emotional body 11...
05/07/2025

I USED TO BELIEVE I WAS SECURE, AS MANY PEOPLE DO... ๐Ÿ˜Œ

But as I started to look more deeply into my own emotional body 11 years ago--three years into fatherhood--I started to notice how my nervous system would go into fight, flight, or freeze when I would run out of emotional bandwidth. ๐Ÿ˜ฐ And while I later realized that the crux of this challenge began when my son was born, and this birth creating an attachment trauma in me (my first real trauma, if you can believe it), pushing me further and deeper into the avoidance that already existed. ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ’”

This began my journey to understanding myself and what caused me to need "space" to find my emotional balance (to auto-regulate) while Paget would simultaneously need me to be close to her. ๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿ’•

As you can imagine, it brought many challenges to our relationship, but we were stubborn ๐Ÿ’ช and kept at it, knowing and believing we would eventually pierce through to the other "side". ๐ŸŒ…

Truly, the solution to being a better, more authentic human in relationships where mutuality, emotional balance, and love are present was to become more secure ourselves, but at the time, this wasn't available to us. ๐ŸŒฑ

This, indeed, is often a multi-year long journey with many pitfalls, challenges, and difficulties. ๐Ÿ—ป

A journey of 1001 steps. ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

What I never realized is how the pressure cooker of the pandemic would *finally* force me to be with my avoidance and feel the presence of my family and home as a regulating force. ๐Ÿ โค๏ธ

--

How I learned to become a Secure Attacher ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’

When I was first introduced to Attachment Theory by my friend Trevor, my reaction to his statement that I was "avoidant" was one of immediate dismissal. ๐Ÿ™„ Ironic of course, considering that avoidant attachment is also often called "dismissive-avoidant." Paget and I were engaging in the classic anxious-avoidant dance. ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บ

This journey eventually brought us to develop skills around self-regulation, self-care, and self-resourcing. ๐Ÿ› ๏ธโœจ From awareness of our own nervous system and emotional body, its strengths, its weaknesses, and its superpowers, we developed the ability to regulate and ground ourselves more and more easily over time, the ability to take care of ourselves better and better, and the ability to get the help and perspectives we would need to understand and face the challenges and difficulties that would inevitably come up time after time grew significantly. ๐ŸŒณ๐Ÿ’ช

(see the graphic of the 4 stages of the Journey to Secure) ๐Ÿ“Š

This is how we journeyed from Stage 1 (unconscious/insecure) ๐Ÿ˜ด to Stage 2 (conscious/insecure) ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ to a fairly deep Stage 3 (conscious/secure) ๐ŸŒŸ where we are today, in our current (poly/open) family configuration. ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ’•

And, it's a balance we are constantly maintaining, refining, deepening, and building together with our loved ones in our lives. โš–๏ธ๐ŸŒฑ

--

The Stages of the Journey to Secure ๐ŸŽฏ

The journey to an earned secure attachment can be seen both as a journey of awareness (becoming aware/conscious about our insecurity through our coping mechanisms) ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ’ก and a journey of developing skill (learning to engage with our insecurities, dysregulation, coping mechanisms, and emotional resources). ๐ŸŽจ

It follows the Conscious Competence Ladder which explains the process of learning and gaining competence in any area of growth. ๐Ÿชœ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Here's what it looks like: ๐Ÿ‘‡

--

**The Three Areas of Growth of the Journey to Secure** ๐ŸŒฟ

As we go through the stages of the Journey to Secure, which takes time, effort, attention, and practice, we learn and grow in three main areas: โฐ๐Ÿ’ช๐ŸŽฏ

Self-Regulation ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Self-regulation is the ability to better support a regulated nervous system for yourself when challenges arise and coping mechanisms such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn come up, generally expressed by an insecure attacher as either anxiety or avoidance. ๐ŸŒŠ Learning to self-regulate can look like the avoidant attacher's usual "auto-regulation" (the need to regulate alone), co-regulation (the need to regulate with another human or mammal) ๐Ÿค, or anything in between. A secure attacher can more easily draw from what is available at the moment of dysregulation in order to bring themselves back into a grounded regulated state. ๐ŸŒณ Learning to do this can look like breathing techniques ๐Ÿซ, movement techniques ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ, mindfulness techniques ๐Ÿง˜, connection to nature ๐ŸŒฒ, and more.

Self-care ๐Ÿ›€

Self-care is the ability to better support a body, heart, and mind in optimum health, energy, and emotional resources level. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿง  Self-care looks like realizing what needs are unmet in order to better fulfill them such that one can be fully resourced. ๐Ÿ”‹ It can also look like learning about these needs such that, over time, better planning and forecasting can occur about them. ๐Ÿ“… A secure attacher can more easily imagine what needs will arise and can better prepare for them so they can be met as soon as they occur and continuously as they occur. Needs come in various categories (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is one example), but the main ones that impact our nervous system are physical ๐Ÿ’ช, emotional ๐Ÿ’, social ๐Ÿ‘ฅ, and primal needs ๐Ÿ”ฅ. In order to keep our nervous system balanced and in top running condition, these needs have to be cared for and met on-goingly. This can look like learning about nutrition ๐Ÿฅ—, communication ๐Ÿ’ฌ, relating, connection ๐Ÿ”—, etc. In other words, awareness, techniques, perspectives, and approaches that facilitate meeting our needs (and supporting others in getting their own needs met in relationship). It's the growing of our internal toolbox ๐Ÿงฐ to keep our inner self running well and with resilience.

Self-Resourcing ๐Ÿค

Self-resourcing (or, more simply, resourcing) is the ability to seek outside support, perspectives, and resources when our internal toolbox isn't enough to meet the demands and challenges that life throws in our direction and the needs that arise from this. ๐Ÿ†˜ Self-resourcing can look like better sense-making through learning various models (such as attachment theory, IMAGO, etc) which leads to validation and understanding of what is happening to us ๐Ÿ“š, or better relating and communication tools to engage with partners in order to maintain a good level of relatedness. ๐Ÿ’• It can also look like finding the right people to help us, counsel us, and support us in times of need. ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™€๏ธ It can also look like knowing who are the people you can cuddle with when dysregulated! ๐Ÿค— Self-resourcing tends to be about engagement with the external world in ways that support our internal world, our self-care, and our self-regulation. ๐ŸŒโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ 

--

The Two Roads of the Journey to Secure ๐Ÿ›ค๏ธ

(see the graphic of the 2 roads

The Journey to Secure is both a journey of awareness ๐Ÿง  as someone moves from stage to stage as well as a journey of developing skills ๐ŸŽฏ from stage to stage. These two journeys (often overlapping) form two separate pathways or "roads." ๐Ÿ›ฃ๏ธ

The first road is the development of awareness around our insecurities, dysregulation, coping mechanisms, and emotional resources, and as we become aware of them, we learn to catch ourselves in reactions related to them faster and faster. โšก Initially, we catch ourselves in the past (ie noticing what happened before, making sense of it, and seeing the pattern for what it is faster and faster) โฎ๏ธ, then more in the present (having seen the pattern enough, we can see it happening in real time) โธ๏ธ, then more in the future (knowing these patterns, being able to see the time coming before they show up) โญ๏ธ. And as we become familiar with these patterns and mechanisms, we develop a certain amount of compassion ๐Ÿ’•, equanimity โš–๏ธ, and intuition ๐Ÿ”ฎ towards them (and about ourselves) while we work on them through the second road.

The second road is the development of skill around our insecurities, dysregulation, coping mechanisms, and emotional resources. ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ As we grow our awareness and ability to catch ourselves in the moment, we also slowly learn to do something about them via self-regulation, self-care, and self-resourcing. Initially, the results aren't so great ๐Ÿ˜…, but with enough practice, we begin to gain ground and skill on how to best handle the patterns while at the same time learning to recognize them and own them as part of our growth process. ๐Ÿ“ˆ Each little step builds on the others as we learn and earn our security and ability to get back into balance more easily, quickly, and with greater resilience. ๐Ÿ—๏ธ

As we do all of this better and better, our emotional resources (which you can imagine as like the muscles and stamina of your emotional body) also grow slowly to allow us to handle life more effectively and with more "emotional bandwidth." ๐Ÿ’ชโค๏ธ

This is how you notice yourself becoming secure: it's not that you never get dysregulated or exhausted or "hangry" or in a difficult emotional place anymore. ๐Ÿ˜ค Rather, it's that over time you develop the awareness and skill to handle events that happened before and as they occur, and you also learn to plan and prepare for events before they happen. ๐ŸŽฏ

This is both a practice and an art you have to engage with for a fair bit of time to become good at it. ๐ŸŽจโฐ

And throughout this practice, you truly get the opportunity to find inside of you and in community ๐Ÿ‘ฅ, the reference point for what Secure Attachment feels like, in the deepest sense. ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ’–

This is what Coming Home to Love is about. ๐Ÿก๐Ÿ’•

Love as the true inner experience of Secure Attachment. โค๏ธ๐Ÿ”

A bientรดt et avec amour,
Philippe Lewis

(PS: Curious to chat more? DM me!)

--

COMING HOME TO LOVE: A 6-DAY JOURNEY TO SECURE ATTACHMENT

"I've never felt this safe in my life" ~ Retreat Participant

Curious about taking your journey to secure attachment with us? ๐Ÿค”โœจ

We have created a retreat specially for you to take some embodied steps on your journey: ๐ŸŒŸ

๐ŸŒŸ Steps to becoming more regulated
๐ŸŒŸ Steps to becoming more resourced
๐ŸŒŸ Steps to finding your Secure network of loved ones and friends (like "Finding your Tribe" but even better)
๐ŸŒŸ Steps to understanding where you are on your journey and where to go from here

We created this retreat for you to become secure at a pace that is safe, enjoyable, and in community with other humans like you! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ‘ฅ

Click here to get more details about ๐Ÿ’ž Coming Home to Love: A 6-Day Journey to Secure Attachment ๐ŸŒ…

www.cominghometo.love

And here's a couple of testimonials from last year:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_49bcIsK26k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkaavA284mg

--

Want to get a sense of how you lean around attachment styles? Use this online Quiz I created: https://www.fyrebox.com/play/attachment-quiz_wdGGqvQpo
(Note: because it's self-reporting, accuracy is limited)

Then you can use the following Google sheet to plot where you are: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1eZis3tPVpSK0pLRvi1kBtjnd5D3QPTdJHedHLVR_tK8/edit?gid=0 =0

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Reclaiming Sovereignty

For 20 years, Philippe Lewis has dedicated himself to supporting people in their growth towards sovereignty and creating events and learning environments that invite participants to step into their full sensuality, and claim greater power and sovereignty around their erotic desires and boundaries.

Philippe started by co-producing Mystic Temple of Bliss in Oakland, a sensual event that aimed to serve as a crossroads for the Bay Area EDM, underground performer, and ta**ra community. These events brought together hundreds of participants in an exploration of intimacy, relationships, and s*xuality.

When Philippe united with his life partner and future-wife Paget, part of their relationship involved innovating the concept of โ€œ2nd-base partiesโ€ โ€”erotic events focused on non-s*xual touch and play, making them accessible to a wider audience.

Starting in 2009, Philippe began co-creating Club Exotica, large private s*xual gatherings and public 2nd-base parties at some of the hottest and biggest clubs in San Francisco, including the legendary Supperclub, The Upper Floor at The Armory, and 1015 Folsom. He also began co-producing events with SF underground erotic party promoters Masquerotica.