Botanisör Florist Launceston

Botanisör Florist Launceston Local florist on the outskirts of the Launceston CBD cocooned in Miledge Lane.
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Calling all cats, cat owners and friends of cats and cat owners, the cat grass is potted and ready to be chewed.We have ...
27/10/2025

Calling all cats, cat owners and friends of cats and cat owners, the cat grass is potted and ready to be chewed.
We have some potted up or you can grab a punnet to do yourself. Does anyone know where I can get a mini lawn mower? Maybe I can juice it to and add vodka to make a “Lawnmower”. Anywho I’ll pop some in my lunch and see if it makes me lazy and aloof like cat.
To be fair I did lick what I thought was dirt off my arm earlier. Happynews it was chocolate. Now when was the last time I had chocolate?
We also have on the plant front new string of pearls or dolphins, spath romano, umbrella plant and peperomia polyotrya, that’s the really cool raindrops leaf. Beautiful leaf on that. The most beautiful leaf. People who know leaves say it is the best leaf. I don’t know if a better leaf than the polyotrya. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
Does anyone else’s arm ache between 9.55 and 10.05 everyday? Cos I think I might have tenish elbow.
A customer asked if we would dress up as a clown to deliver flowers to his wife. We had to say no but it was a romantic jester.
Is there conversation therapy for conspiracy theorists, n***s and people who do Zumba? I thought it was a class run by pastry chef but nooooo. Very different. That’s four hours of my life I’m not getting back.
Have a great week and remember when the rich rob the poor it is called business. When the poor fight back it is called violence and when the oppressed fight back it is called terrorism. Don’t you love the English language.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🐈🪴🪉 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

To keep myself sane this Friyay I am taking up Projectile Mindfulness. That is when I tell other people what’s wrong wit...
24/10/2025

To keep myself sane this Friyay I am taking up Projectile Mindfulness. That is when I tell other people what’s wrong with them, preferably at full volume. It helps them change faster to become human. Not better, just human.
It also prepares me for old age. Because the older you get the less you care what others think of you. Maybe I was born old. Well I am older than the internet and I do remember McChucks biscuits in a box, lemonade flavour, and I do miss the bean salad from the Kids Fattening Centre.
Demolish has commenced at the White House and now the entire East Wing has gone. The WH was 4650 metres square, with the new ball room to be 8400 metres square. I’m not sure why the leader of the Turd Reich needs so much ball room. When I was having drinks with Stormy Daniels last night she indicated a one car garage would be adequately roomy. Abundantly.
As the Americans protest, the only monarch they want is a monarch butterfly. Or in German , schmetterling. Such a romantic language.
And what was with the AI fighter jet clip? Worst audition for a Depends add ever. Dig up June Allison I say.
Oh, the last photo is SprAy TAN Trump in either photographer was right place/right time, or how much do you hate your job?
Now, if you have a cat or know a cat owner or have trouble finding a gift for a cat, we are here to help. Just delivered… CatGrass. Fantastic for indoor cats. It lets them touch grass to keep them selves centred. They love the stuff. We have it by pot or we will be planting some up into new season ceramics. For the most stylish of feline.
Anywho, have a great weekend and remember the only thing safe in the US are the Epstein files.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🐓🏚️🚜 112 Cimitiere Steet, Launceston

Oh the Grand old Duke of York, He had 12 million quid, He gave it to someone He never met, for something He never did. H...
22/10/2025

Oh the Grand old Duke of York, He had 12 million quid, He gave it to someone He never met, for something He never did.
Happy Humpday y’all. With a pic of Oriental lily and Arum lily. Two flowers people either love or hate, like Vegemite… or Scott Morrison. Oh that man, I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw a wet mattress up a spiral staircase.
Think I’m sarcastic? Watch me as I pretend to care, while you talk and I diagnose you.
Kidding.
Yeah Japan has its first female Prime Minister. Boo she is anti LGBTQAI+ and idolises Margaret Thatcher.
You know cost of living crisis is getting worse when you visit a friend, for a cuppa you can’t afford at home, to find a spatula on the toilet roll holder. The one time a digital newspaper will not work.
Mind you it still amazes me that with all that access to infinite information, it has made us dumber.
I suppose we are all a bit of a mess trying to do our best.
Great news, the weather has warmed and gerberas are now back in stock. Fresh from the NW coast. As well as all the other fresh lovelies form all over the state. Except Brontë, nothing lives in Brontë. Kidding again. But no nothing comes from Brontë.
Keep up the good work and remember we need less fascism and more fashion. Slow, quality fashion that is. Made for you, forever, not just the season.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🛌💷🌼 112 Cimitie Street, Launceston.

If any of our Listeners are in a position to help, it will give you a warm tingly feeling. Our donations of funds from r...
21/10/2025

If any of our Listeners are in a position to help, it will give you a warm tingly feeling. Our donations of funds from recyclable containers only makes so much, but if you could donate to Strike it Out, or containers to us, that would be fantastic. Thank you.

A huge shout out to everyone celebrating Diwali, the Festival of Lights. Let’s hope it doesn’t come with bill shock this...
20/10/2025

A huge shout out to everyone celebrating Diwali, the Festival of Lights. Let’s hope it doesn’t come with bill shock this year. We all need colour and light at the moment.
Well I’m here putting the ass in class while Israel has committed 47 violations since the Gaza Truce came into effect NINE days ago.
It’s like Deja poo. That feeling you get that you have heard this crap before.
Also why is the word “phonetically “ spelt with a PH and not a F? Who decided this, the work experience kid?
Makes you feel proud when an Australian export gets another accolade. Rupert Murdock has now done more damage to humanity and the planet than nearly anyone else throughout history.
Hang on the courier is here and wants me to sign for a package. Gee, I didn’t know he was deaf. And I’m underwhelmed by his package.
Anywho, I sell fantastic flowers that make your life better, groceries cheaper and rent affordable.*
Have a great week and remember bottled water companies do not produce water, they produce plastic bottles.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌼🌷🌸 112 Cimitie Street, Launceston.

*Some facts could be lies and should be taken either with a pinch of salt and a litre of penicillin. Or both with a law degree chaser.

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To give you listeners hope and a reason to go on in this crazy world, I have just discovered there is a Solve-Along-A M...
17/10/2025

To give you listeners hope and a reason to go on in this crazy world, I have just discovered there is a Solve-Along-A Murder She Wrote show. We need that production here, now! Yesterday!
And it would have been the amazingly talented Angela Lansbury’s 100th birthday last weekend.
It reminds me of the time I went door to door selling security alarms. I was really good at it and if no one was home I would leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
Can we agree and normalise that changing your mind when you learn new information is acceptable. Rather than doubling down on outdated beliefs to protect ego.
And today’s quiz, can you identify the celebrity who believes a woman is someone who doesn’t need to put in any work to become a woman. And yet has had more feminising surgery than the majority of trans women. Yeah, it’s Joanne.
There are so many people in life that inspire you to be nothing like them, and we are all the better for it.
Now if your weekend could be made better with lilies, iris, alstroemeria , chrysanthemums, snapdragons, proteas, stocks, tulips, waratah or sweet William to name a few, come on in and see us. We can even put them together for you. Our pleasure.
Gerberas return next week. YEAH!
I’m now googling to see if there is a Solve-Along-Skippy production.
Have a great weekend and remember no matter what’s going on in your life, there is always some form of potato to support you.

☎️ 6335 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🪓👵✍️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

I was so born to dilly dally but this world forces me to get a wriggle on. It’s not fair, and only chocolate milk will c...
15/10/2025

I was so born to dilly dally but this world forces me to get a wriggle on. It’s not fair, and only chocolate milk will comfort me.
Good news for the week. Türkiye has set sail a ship carrying 900 tonnes of aid to Gaza. It will need to dock at Egypt’s El-Amish port and be trucked into Palestine as the ship is so large.
And if you’re counting, Israeli hostages released under Agent Orange is 28. Joe Biden secured the release of 140. Also the peace deal that was just signed was the deal former President Biden drew up 10 months ago.
Other stats include Israel managing to “remove” 178 children per day. Adolf only managed 127. Benny Mileikowsky wins.
My wins this week have been two successful consecutive nights of drawing rack jenga. Last nights washing up was higher than the window ledge. Sunday didn’t count as the knife block was used as a prop and stabilised/ held the cheese grater.
Loads of fresh flowers in and more coming tomorrow. Warning: the tulips are coming to an end as the weather heats up. So get in fast to enjoy them or wait till next year.
Keep up the good work and remember if the environment was a bank it would have been saved by now.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 👃🌷🛝 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

As we start a new week we are proud to announce that we are the number one plastic polluter in the world for the fourth ...
13/10/2025

As we start a new week we are proud to announce that we are the number one plastic polluter in the world for the fourth year running. With your help we can make it five. No, wait, that’s Coca-Cola.
We have a very strong record of recycling and use of biodegradable products. We even started a container recycling program for our candle jars before the Sate Government.
And thanks to Bryan from Rocherlea for sending in a photo of his wife, but the competition was actually called “Fact Hunt”. Oh well.
You know how frustrating it is when you get a song stuck in your head, an ear-worm they call it. Today it’s , “I just met you, and I know it’s crazy. But I’m taking your house, cuz I’m Israeli”.
I’ve decided I want to open a hair salon and call it N. Just so I can use the tag line, putting the N back into cuts. Too bad I can’t cut hair… well not human. And the RSPCA still wants to talk to me about that seagull.
Maybe I could use the business mode of Coca-cola. They steal our water, ie don’t pay for it and sell it back at inflated prices. How gullible are we? Plus those artificial sweeteners give you a 33% greater chance of developing Type 2 diabetes. Can’t get a better “free with purchase” than that.
Today’s pic is also a reminder that it’s Waratah season and you got to get a wriggle on if you want to enjoy them this year.
Have a great week and remember if the reason for someone’s smile is you, that’s something truly special.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 😁😁😁 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Hello and happy Friyay from your favourite anti-social butterfly. And yes, due to the blowy and moist weather I am sport...
10/10/2025

Hello and happy Friyay from your favourite anti-social butterfly. And yes, due to the blowy and moist weather I am sporting some very snuggly flannelette un**es. Of the candy stripe variety. Here’s hoping for a bit of sun soon or those old towels may be conscripted into a new use.
I can’t help it, I was born with a silly heart and a glorious ass.
Did you realise that the movie Wizard of Oz is 86 years old this year? Today if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no heart and no courage she would land in Canberra.
How do you make a pool table laugh? You tickle its balls.
Why was it that when Yemen stopped boats carrying weapons to Israel to maintain a genocide, it was called terrorism? Whe Israel stops boats in international waters carrying food and medical supplies, and kidnapps people from 46 countries, world leaders are silent. Yes, you Penny.
Look the weather is going to be crap for a while so let’s freshen up your insides with flowers. We can work with all budgets and spaces. From simple to extravagant. Come on in and try us. I did flowers for Clarence House, I would be honored to do some for you.
Have a great weekend and remember as Samuel Beckett said, Ever tried and failed, ever failed, no matter. Try again. Fail better.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🩲⚽️🎱 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Happy Humpday and to celebrate we have a huge haul of waratah and protea. The waratah are Tassie grown and the Tassie sp...
08/10/2025

Happy Humpday and to celebrate we have a huge haul of waratah and protea.
The waratah are Tassie grown and the Tassie species. This means a smaller head than the NSW variety but easier to use. Not so top heavy. In shades of red, pink and white, they have a short season of weeks, so hurry.
Isn’t it funny how Gina Rinehart has ownership of a lithium mine in WA that runs on 81% solar, wind and battery power yet is publicly opposed to renewable energy.
What sits on the bottom of the ocean and has a lot of anxiety? A nervous wreck.
We will be closed tomorrow for the Show day public holiday. I shall be catching up on laundry, weather permitting, or sewing underwear out of old bed sheets if raining. You know the ones with the holes in the middle. The sheets, not the grundys. We will be back Friday and Saturday as normal. Ok, as normal for us.
I know why Uluru is in the middle of mainland Australia. Because it was too heavy for the British to send back to their museum.
And if anyone’s interested we have one bunch of lotus lily left to good home. And they are pink. And it has to be a good home.
Keep up the good work, enjoy you day off and remember Australians have always been bullies. We named a swimming pool after the only Prime Minister to drown at sea.

☎️ 6334 9287, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🎢🎠🎡112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Before you ask, those are Lotus lilies. Locally grown, devine and seasonal, so get in early. Also if you’re a rosé lover...
06/10/2025

Before you ask, those are Lotus lilies. Locally grown, devine and seasonal, so get in early. Also if you’re a rosé lover, and who isn’t with Summer rolling in, we took stock of two delicious options this morning. They are from so you know they are the best. We got other wines too. Oh, and there is champagne, sorry, sparkling wine coming soon.
Sorry I forgot to warm you of the Daylight savings. I also forgot to tell you that Saturday was National Vodka day. The two facts are not mutually exclusive. I may have seen practicing.
I did however go to a vodka party on the weekend. There was an undesirable young chap in what was left of a flannelette shirt and a mullet. He was telling jokes about non-consensual in*******se. Like, what is the difference between yes and no… nothing. So I asked if I could punch him in the face. He said no and that’s how he learnt about consent. I have a court date three weeks from Tuesday. Some people learn practical/ hard way.
The Cheeto Chief has a new drag name, let’s hear a huge round of applause for ReLisa DeFiles!
The irony has not passed me by to see Mandala Mandela now imprisoned in an apartheid state philosophy that once imprisoned his Grandfather. But because of the flotilla, the Israeli navy was so busy that Palestinian people were able to fish in the sea for the fist time in years. To many the flotilla was unsuccessful in delivering aid but it did deliver aid, dignity and hope.
It’s Show Day this Thursday so we will be closed but more on that on Humpday.
And a friendly reminder that if you are experiencing joint pain… you may be holding the wrong end.
Have a great week and remember the number one cause of child mortality on Earth this year is Israel.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🪷🍷🍾 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

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It’s Friyay, that’s enough, put a blanket over my cage. Now! The world’s getting weirder and all we are fixated on is Ni...
03/10/2025

It’s Friyay, that’s enough, put a blanket over my cage. Now! The world’s getting weirder and all we are fixated on is Nicole’s marriage breakup. I’m more interested to know where her freckles went.
I did see on the news that a woman who gave her 8 year old daughter Botox to enter her in beauty pageants has lost custody of her. The child’s did not look surprised.
I’m not weird! I’m just completely different and I sell racist free flowers.
Heads up, the Rapture is back on Monday 9th. It didn’t happen last week because God didn’t know we don’t use the Julian calendar anymore. Their words. Leads me to believe he is also a politician. Rules everything, doesn’t know what’s going on and is known to have a hand in large boats. Just saying.
The police have released a statement that a man has been shot with a starting pistol by a gang of youths, he was then beaten with a relay baton. They believe it to be race related.
Israel kidnapped 500 civilians from 44 nations in international waters trying to help 2 million starving in Gaza. If you aren’t angry, you’re not paying attention. Pass it on.
But imagine being the person who arrested Nelson Mandela’s grandson. They are going to be popular as the person who snitched on Anne Frank.
Funnily flipping facist free flowers for frugal funds. Take that Spanish leather.
Have a great weekend, hug a tree and a nice person and remember poor countries are not “under developed “ , they are “over exploited “.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌏🕊️‼️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Address

Shop 5/112 Cimitiere Street
Launceston, TAS
7250

Opening Hours

Monday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Tuesday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Thursday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Friday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Saturday 8:30am - 1am

Telephone

+61363349187

Website

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