Botanisör Florist Launceston

Botanisör Florist Launceston Local florist on the outskirts of the Launceston CBD cocooned in Miledge Lane.
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A rose by any other name… is probably mislabeled. Please see the manager, it’s Humpday. If however you want to stop and ...
05/03/2025

A rose by any other name… is probably mislabeled. Please see the manager, it’s Humpday. If however you want to stop and smell the flowers, come on in. Sniffing is free. Touching, I charge.
And my HDAD is so bad today it’s AD4K. The dyslexic ain’t helping either.
Dear bigots, patriots and right leaning politicians, a heads up. I have just learnt that the LGBTQIA+, (the Alphabet Mafia), are hiding CCTV in hornets nests to spy on you. Please knock them all down in the name of… Antiwoke… and don’t be controlled.
Can someone remind me to invest all my money in an aluminum, yes, one i), company later this afternoon. Or as they call them, hat material.
We are here for you like a psychiatrist. Only cheaper.
Keep up the good work and remember you know your old when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date.

How are we pulling up after the weekend? Anyone still going from Mardi Gras? I did however learn the collective noun for...
03/03/2025

How are we pulling up after the weekend? Anyone still going from Mardi Gras? I did however learn the collective noun for a group of angry le****ns is a Militia Etheridge.
And for the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world knows whom you mean.
While the Dogebag, puppet master has lost over $1 billion in two months as Tesla is stripped of sales, as well as if everyone boycotts Tesla stock, he will have to default on all of his loans that are collated by the stock value. He would be penniless in days. Just saying.
Tesla, the Swasticar. It goes from 0 to 1939 in 3 seconds.
On a brighter note, how many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb? Well, I know it’s not six because the basement is still dark. I’ll let you know when I find out.
In the meantime I’m trying to fill the shop with beautiful bouquets, if customers would stop buying them, really.!They can’t all be that stunningly perfect, can they? You come in and be the judge.
Have a great week and remember a blue whale’s a**s can stretch over a meter wide, making it the second largest A***e on the planet.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🇺🇸🍊🤡 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Tis Friyay and the last day of February. For a short month it has taken a long time this year. Do you also know what tha...
28/02/2025

Tis Friyay and the last day of February. For a short month it has taken a long time this year. Do you also know what that means, some of those born on the 29th are celebrating their birthday.
Lucky ducks only aging every four years. Wish I could find scales that only counted every fourth kg. When will I start looking like a Victoria’s Secret model and not a Queen Victoria sponge? On the up side, I do taste of strawberries and am full of cream. Mmmmm.
If a diabetic has a Sugar Daddy who pays for their medication, does that make them a Insulin Pimp?
And I see He-who-can-not-blend is upset no one is using his new name,(Gulf of America), and using his dead name. A dead name is a birth or former name no longer in use, mostly used in the trans community. So just to annoy him, I prepose we rename the Pacific Ocean to Australia Lake and, drumroll, Antarctic is now New South Tasmania! Got to admit it does have a ring to it.
Has anyone ever seen a giraffe when it’s not aroused? Does it look like a spotted horse?
As always, loads of stunning fresh locally grown flowers in shop. It is Economic Blackout Day, so ditch the multi conglomerates, they will only send your money into space. Us locals support other locals and our community keeps working. And employ your children and grandchildren without them having to move interstate. SUPPORT LOCAL!
Have a great weekend and remember can not Shazam the deafening silence that consumes you. I’ve tried.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 💵👭👬🛍️⬇️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Hi, we’re back. Hope you had a great LCD and had a successful flutter. If things did go wrong, there is help. And can I ...
27/02/2025

Hi, we’re back. Hope you had a great LCD and had a successful flutter. If things did go wrong, there is help.
And can I say after fashion on the field, welcome back the 1940’s & 50’s. You stay in the kitchen with that new fangled washing machine little lady. Those ensembles were text book. Nothing new, just not seen in a while. How long before we see the hobble skirt?
Also if anyone is interested tomorrow is a day of cyber economic blackout. People around the world are voting with their own money to send a message to massive online corporations who destroy the planet and treat their workers like slaves, by not buying from them. Support local and owner operated businesses. You know, the ones supporting your community.
And do we have a shop full of flowers grown here, supporting me, my staff, the growers, their staff and the couriers. By buying one bunch to make your one cosy, you are supporting so many.
Keep up the good work and remember once weapons were manufactured to fight wars. Now wars are manufactured to sell weapons.

☎️ 6334 9287, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌻🌹🌸 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

It’s a busy, busy Monday. And all before we close up at 2.30pm for today only. Do you know what happens if you slap some...
24/02/2025

It’s a busy, busy Monday. And all before we close up at 2.30pm for today only.
Do you know what happens if you slap someone at really high frequency? It hertz.
Which reminds me, I came upon a as quote attributed to one Mary Anne Trump, “Yes, he’s an idiot with zero common sense, and no social skills, but he is my son. I just hope he never gets into politics. He’d be a disaster”. For reference, she was not orange.
Back to regular transmission tomorrow and we will be closed Wednesday for Launceston Cup.
Have a great week and remember a pickle is great until your in one.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🍑💰🤣 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Yay for Friyay! It’s been a long year so far. So if you need a place to escape too, we’re here. Except next Wednesday, i...
21/02/2025

Yay for Friyay! It’s been a long year so far. So if you need a place to escape too, we’re here.
Except next Wednesday, it’s Launceston Cup and we will be closed. Tally Hoe and all that rot. Or is that the one with the foxes? And closing at 3pm on Monday as yours truly has an annual medical that comes around every fourish years. Hoping to get the thumbs up like I did in the prostate exam.
Did you know the KGB, CIA, KLF & MI5 all have a lot of secrets. KFC, only one.
I once worked for MI5, as an interrogator. Got fired but don’t like to ask why and make a fuss. I heard a rumour it was because a report said I was defecting in a stairwell. They need to reread that report and watch the surveillance tapes.
Back to the future, we have gorgeous flowers and gifts for pick up or delivery, for home, for giving or for any event you can name.
Have a great weekend and remember no one works as hard as the R when Googling actor Gary Oldman.

☎️ 6334 9187, or www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌻🌹🌼 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Hey Hoe Humpday. I did forget, Mondays photo was of a dragonfly that is one of the many creatures using our hanging helm...
19/02/2025

Hey Hoe Humpday. I did forget, Mondays photo was of a dragonfly that is one of the many creatures using our hanging helmet garden as a home. We created a bio-diverse environment. Go us!
This morning on the way to work I was accosted by a contemptuous lumber Jack, boy did he have an axe to grind. I had to tell him to act like his hair line and take a few steps back. His DNA also had a few too many 404 files for me. He was so bordering on stupidity, I didn’t know if I should call him Canada or Mexico.
We had fun this morning changing the front window. If you like lush plants and mirror balls, this one is for you. Fingers crossed I can get the fairy lights to work tonight.
Do you think Pavlov’s dogs trained him to ring a bell so they could get food?
Keep up the good work and remember if you have ever been pregnant with a boy you have indeed “grown a pair”. Insult defeated.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🪩🪴🪩 122 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

I’m not missing in action, I survived last week but we will not speak of the horrors. It is time to start a new week wit...
17/02/2025

I’m not missing in action, I survived last week but we will not speak of the horrors. It is time to start a new week with a clean slate and a tidy shop. Not to mention the fridges are organised and sparkle. Inner peace is returned.
Although it did make me realise that my toxic trait is I assume people have common sense and get frustrated when they don’t. Delivering flowers to an airport gate at a specific time to someone going to Europe? NO! You have been watching too many romcoms and believe that is how real life works. And can I make them to fit in the overhead compartment? In the words of our saviour, Snap out of it!
If a pig looses its voice, does it become disgruntled?
Anywho, the shop is restocked and we are back to regular transmission. Hope to see you soon.
Have a great week and remember a typo on a tombstone is a grave mistake.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌵🪩🌵 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Take cover, it has started. The first of the roses have arrived. I think it’s Humpday? Ok, it must be because it all loo...
12/02/2025

Take cover, it has started. The first of the roses have arrived. I think it’s Humpday? Ok, it must be because it all looks down hill from here. I see red! Lots of it. At least I’m not a waxer.
More be the foolish telemarketer/ scammer to call me for the rest of the week. I have rose thorns, only second in danger to paper cuts.
And good luck to the faceless dyslexic profile on a dating app looking for Alan.
Now what do I need to do next ? Why, yes, MORE ROSES. Hopefully I’ll be done by March.
If you still need to order for Friday, may I suggest the fastest and most convenient way to do so is via the web site on tinternet. And it’s got pictures.
Keep up the good work and remember we all wish we were as thin as our patience.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or ❤️🌹❤️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

This week is going to be as hard as Chinese algebra. It’s Valentine’s week. Although a man as hard as Chinese long divis...
10/02/2025

This week is going to be as hard as Chinese algebra. It’s Valentine’s week. Although a man as hard as Chinese long division wouldn’t go astray. I’m single but only because my liver can handle a lot more than my heart.
And never buy Valentine flowers from a monk, only YOU can prevent florist friars. Ok, my brain is broke already. New record.
Hey, when a house is “haunted” why is it always a 17/1800’s white person? I want a ghost from 2007 that screams “it’s Britney biatch” at 2AM everyday.
Off topic, flowers, red roses, ethically grown local blooms, happy customers… there I’m back in the room. Now I’m off to cry in the storeroom while I still have time. I might even treat myself to a mini meltdown.
But pop on over to www.botanisorflorist.com to order a delivery or order a pick up from the shop. It’s too easy, we love saving you time.
Look out for Wednesday, I’ve got some doozies planned. Tip, have a towel ready.
Have a great week and remember when you think there’s no hope, there was a tank of lobsters in the Titanic’s restaurant. Things work out.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌹🌹🌹 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

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It’s Friyay, and you know what that means? You have seven days to order Valentine’s flowers to avoid disappointment. Or ...
07/02/2025

It’s Friyay, and you know what that means? You have seven days to order Valentine’s flowers to avoid disappointment. Or death if your lucky. Or the silent treatment if your not so lucky.
Did you know a Peacock is a male peafowl. The female is a Peagina.
What in the Worthers originals are Americans going on about DEI. They maker it sound like it’s about hiring people that are not qualified for the job they are doing, so I assumed it stood for Don jr, Eric & Ivanka.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
Why does Leonardo DiCaprio not play tennis? He can’t het past 30/love.
Pop in store or online to see our Valentine’s range and what will suit your loved one, budget or get you the leg ove… the most Brownie points and kisses.
Now, if someone steals my identity and I kill them, is that su***de and do I no longer have to pay tax? Asking for a friend.
Have a great weekend and remember Kmart group made $20.6 billion revenue in 2023 while the women and children who made the clothes earned $6 per day? We control slavery.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🌹❤️🌹 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

It’s Humpday and due to personal reasons I’m going to keep posting silly stuff instead of seeking professional help for ...
05/02/2025

It’s Humpday and due to personal reasons I’m going to keep posting silly stuff instead of seeking professional help for my mental health. Unless you know a cheap unprofessional therapist?
I was asked if I had seen the dog bowl, I didn’t even know he could.
Today I discovered what DNA is. The National Dyslexic Association. Actually DNA is like Tom Cruise, very complex and very, very tiny.
Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards.
And in the why, just Why? category, why did the pram come with a “remove child before folding” warning? Listen, I know they are pliable and bendy at that age but please, your child is not a panini! And don’t get me started on the “for external use only” label on the curling iron.
Yes I’m here all week. Every week. Now I may not have been blessed with a great singing voice or companion but I can whip up a few flowers to make a bouquet that will make angels weep. Or angles, I’m not sure. It’s one of them.
Keep up the good work and remember if its illegal, immoral, impossible or ill advised, it is a new policy of President Pumkin.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or🍲🐕‍🦺🎳 112 Cimitiere st, Launceston.

Did everyone have a fabulous Festivale? The City Park was heaving, and the weather was amazing. Speaking of, while the w...
03/02/2025

Did everyone have a fabulous Festivale? The City Park was heaving, and the weather was amazing.
Speaking of, while the weather is still in the high 700’s, well it feels like it, we still have a few popsicle /ice pole trays. Especially to cool the mini humans down after school. I’m thinking of freezing soup so I can two birds, one stick. You know. Who can make me a good Polish borscht? Pierogi optional but essential.
And I want to go on the record by saying Elon Musk is not a N@zi, they knew how to make cars! Who doesn’t love a VW? Also ICE,(Immigration & Customs Enforcement), has paused a hotline where people can call to report undocumented immigrants because 90% of calls were for Elon. Talk about Mr Popular.
Apart from our ICEy-pole trays we got lots of good flowers, some lovely gifts and few bottles of Papa’s recipe. I just heard the Waltons theme music. If your old you know.
Did you know there is such a thing as a free lunch, if you have strong enough stomach acid, Vultures; keep calm & carrion.
Have a great week and remember anti-intellectualism is an authoritarian tactic that is used to control a population by robbing people of the tools to understand and solve problems, innovate and build communities. Education gives people power to improve their conditions.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🚘🚔🚖 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Happy Friyay! Look what we got in. I know they are not locally grown but they are Australian, and we only get one chance...
31/01/2025

Happy Friyay! Look what we got in. I know they are not locally grown but they are Australian, and we only get one chance a year for lotus pods.
If Where’s Wally has an emergency, how would the ambulance find him?
I was arrested for impersonating a politician yesterday. I was just sitting around doing nothing. Sitting because I’ve been on my new high fibre diet so long I am now producing wicker furniture. In a month or three I hope to advance to garden furniture.
The shop is fit near to bursting with a vast array of flowers,(and lotus pods). And Asiatic lily are back in stock, there’s, celocia and the tallest straw flowers I’ve ever seen. Come be spoilt.
If you going to Festivale pop in and have a look. And enjoy the weekend of food and music.
February is Black History month, isn’t it funny how black history is for black people and white history for every, when it’s white people who really need to understand black history.
Have a great weekend, stay hydrated and remember America is the home of the free, which came as a total surprise to all the slaves.

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🍻🍱🥂112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

It’s Humpday and the world has gone mad. You know it’s bad when you look back at lockdown wistfully. Can we go back?I th...
29/01/2025

It’s Humpday and the world has gone mad. You know it’s bad when you look back at lockdown wistfully. Can we go back?
I think that orange vegetable posing as a President has challenged himself to destroy the world in one year. His antennae don’t pick up all the channels, if you stand real close to him you can hear the ocean. And he has a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road.
I wonder if Melania will be kicked out of the country? She arrived in America on a tourist Visa and worked illegally as a model. No wonder her standards were so low when looking for a Green Card husband.
As today he has put 20 + million people in fear as he halts HIV medication to developing nations. Without continued medication their fate is sealed.
He is the grandchild of immigrants, who has been married to two immigrant wives. I would love to treat him as a slinky. It would make me so happy to push him down a flight stairs.
On better news we have a magical world for you to escape to. Forget the outside world and be free. The flowers will make you happy. In this shop you can be your authentic self. We definitely don’t judge … unless your wearing a MAGA hat🤣. Or support gas, coal & oil development.
Keep up the good work and remember all equipment looking for intelligent life is pointing away from Earth, there’s a reason for that.

☎️ 6334 9287, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 1️⃣🌏❤️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Yeah yeah, I know it’s the wrong day but it’s a short week. So let’s get two days work done in one. Anyone else think th...
28/01/2025

Yeah yeah, I know it’s the wrong day but it’s a short week. So let’s get two days work done in one.
Anyone else think the word lavish doesn’t work because it sounds a bit like a toilet?
Have we got a shop full of great fresh flowers for you but wait there’s more, we have gifts too. And a range of cards from Tasmanian artists… and much cheaper than the mass produced blah ones.
I was told, is it true, Australians like to do it “canine style” so they can both keep watching the cricket? Although I do find s*x and sport very similar, there is a lot of huffy and puffing, punching, biting, hair pulling ,running around, tackling,crying and you still come out with a stitch in the end.
Now I have probably pi**ed some people off. You would think I was a black mermaid or a green witch or something.
Last night I was asked if I had seen the dog bowl,to be honest I didn’t know he could.
Have a great week and remember when Princess Kate “organised” a Christmas concert to remember struggling kids she wore earrings worth £5,400 and a Saville Row coat valued at £10,000. Now who’s pi***ng on your leg and telling you it’s raining?

☎️ 6334 9187, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🐕🐩🐕‍🦺 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston. Behind Festivale.

We have a little house keeping this Friyay. We are open tomorrow (Saturday) from 8.30 till 1pm but closed Monday due to ...
24/01/2025

We have a little house keeping this Friyay. We are open tomorrow (Saturday) from 8.30 till 1pm but closed Monday due to a public holiday we refuse to participate in. So, we will see you again Tuesday but our section of Cimitiere Street will be shut down to one lane for the whole of next week. This is for the team to get the ready for a weekend of festivities, food and fmusic. Did I get away with that one?
If you want to pop in there is our carpark, it will be in demand. Or you are more than welcome to ring us, we can deliver or have something ready to save your precious time.
Alternatively, there is the web site. Again for deliveries and pickups. And if your not sure what we can conjure for you, this is an excellent tool to find what tickles your fancy.
Really? Now I have just heard you can change the name of a body of water but can’t call a person by their preferred name or pronouns. Let’s rename Bass Strait…ummm, Keith. Keith’s pronouns are wet/as.
Why are people so uptight about gender? When Shania said “let’s go girls”, I knew she included me.
And today is the day I realised that African American immigrant, Elon Musk is an anagram of Lone Skum! Isn’t the world an amazing place?
Pop in if you require fresh florals for the weekend, there is such a massive selection at the moment. Good fresh local blooms.
Have a great long weekend and remember if you have ever wondered what you’d do during a holocaust, the civil rights movements or for First Nations peoples to achieve equity, congratulations, your doing it right now.

☎️ 6334 9287, 💻 www.botanisorflorist.com or ❤️💛🖤 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Address

Shop 5/112 Cimitiere Street
Launceston, TAS
7250

Opening Hours

Monday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Tuesday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Thursday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Friday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Saturday 8:30am - 1am

Telephone

+61363349187

Website

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