What are the opening hours?

Monday 8:30am - 5:30pm Tuesday 8:30am - 5:30pm Wednesday 8:30am - 5:30pm Thursday 8:30am - 5:30pm Friday 8:30am - 5:30pm Saturday 8:30am - 1am

https://linktr.ee/botanisorfloristlaunceston

Botanisör Florist Launceston, Shop 5/112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston (2025)

17/12/2025

We had peonies dropped off this morning. Various colours, with name labels. Short but gorgeous.
What do you get the person who has everything? Flowers! Or wrap up something they already own.
Are bunk beds just people shelves?
I am going to open a gym next year to cash in on the New Year’s resolution fitness thingy. Im getting the instructors to go door to door to sign people up. Im calling it Jehovah’s Fitness.
Is Erika Kirk the new Tammy Faye Baker? Same grift, slightly less make up. Well,more natural tones.
To give you perspective, 1 million $ in seconds would be 11 days. 1 billion $ would take 31 years. So 1 trillion $ would take 31,709 YEARS! And you can’t make the world a better place. Or pay child support it seems.
Has anyone else gone to get coffee and given their name as “The Lord be with you”? It’s hilarious when the barista calls your “name”. The number of people who instinctively answer.
Today’s second pic is a suggestion to anyone designing libraries, civic buildings or anywhere adults with children need to sit and complete paperwork or a computer task. It will lessen stress, noise and anxiety. For everyone. A much more pleasant environment for all. It’s the small details in life.
Keep up the good work and remember a bank loan could take 30 years to pay back if buying a house. If you rob the bank you can be out in 10. Follow for more cost of living advice. Hey banks and policepeople, it’s a joke Joyce.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 💸🔫🏡 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

17/12/2025

We had peonies dropped off this morning. Various colours, with name labels. Short but gorgeous.
What do you get the person who has everything? Flowers! Or wrap up something they already own.
Are bunk beds just people shelves?
I am going to open a gym next year to cash in on the New Year’s resolution fitness thingy. Im getting the instructors to go door to door to sign people up. Im calling it Jehovah’s Fitness.
Is Erika Kirk the new Tammy Faye Baker? Same grift, slightly less make up. Well,more natural tones.
To give you perspective, 1 million $ in seconds would be 11 days. 1 billion $ would take 31 years. So 1 trillion $ would take 31,709 YEARS! And you can’t make the world a better place. Or pay child support it seems.
Has anyone else gone to get coffee and given their name as “The Lord be with you”? It’s hilarious when the barista calls your “name”. The number of people who instinctively answer.
Today’s second pic is a suggestion to anyone designing libraries, civic buildings or anywhere adults with children need to sit and complete paperwork or a computer task. It will lessen stress, noise and anxiety. For everyone. A much more pleasant environment for all. It’s the small details in life.
Keep up the good work and remember a bank loan could take 30 years to pay back if buying a house. If you rob the bank you can be out in 10. Follow for more cost of living advice. Hey banks and policepeople, it’s a joke Joyce.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 💸🔫🏡 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

15/12/2025

I’s Monday and I didn’t wake up to One Big Beautiful Obituary, but as a leaked photo from the Big House,(or what’s left of it, worst tenant ever), showed The Nod Father using a walking frame. I might get that Xmas present I want. Do you think they will bury him in the golf course next to Ivanka? Or another course to get more tax free land?
There goes my visa free entry. Oh well. Kay Sera. A wonderful drag queen.
Now I know all you mums are busy and tired but can you please stop, breathe and reread the note. As one mum has sent a child to school dressed as Elvis instead of an elf.
If you want to know what busy really is at this time of the year have a talk with the printer for the bu****it artist formally known at Prince Andrew.
I think I’ll have fruit salad for dinner tonight. Well, mostly grapes. OK, it’s all grapes. Fermented. I’M HAVING WINE FOR DINNER. OK!
Did anyone think of calling a group of squid a squad?
Met a girl who described her job as using harsh chemicals to preserve wild animals. I thought she was a taxidermist. Turns out she Botoxs vain rich women.
We have fresh flowers arriving all week, with something for teachers, work mates, suck up to the boss or a heart felt thank you, in all price ranges. And has anyone put the Christmas tree up themselves? Because I put it in the shop.
Have a great week and remember “show me that butthole” is five syllables if you are ever stuck on how to end a haiku.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or ⛳️🧝‍♂️🍷 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

12/12/2025

Can anyone find my shiny balls? Cough.
Getting old is insane. I thought I had blacked out this morning. Turns out I put my hoodie on backwards. Old enough to be a sugar daddy, so poor I am officially a Splenda Daddy.
Did you know Australia came 12th on a list of least racist countries this year. LEAST! All before us were lovely, tolerant, educated countries. We are more racist than Vanuatu. Than Belize. I’d love to know where they got the data… Play School, Hi5, the Bananas. Oh, so we become racist after primary school.
Loving Kris Jenners new face. She is the parent one? Caitlyn’s ex wife? Bit of advice luv, hand cream wouldn’t go astray. They look like you just laid the bricks for a nine story apartment block. Just age gracefully.
And I am admiring the Black woman in the US who drove three hours to confront the man who left a racist comment on her socials. She gave him a choice, so he read the apology she had written for him. Or she was going to show his wife his profiles on gay dating apps. Bi**ch, you are my spirit person.
Working so hard today I may be in line for employee of the afternoon. No, really, it’s busy so come get it before it’s gone. Didn’t think I have to say that twice in one day.
Have a great weekend and remember if you think I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🤔📋📱 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

#

11/12/2025

Not gonna lie, haven’t done one this big in a while, and it made my hand cramp. You don’t often get to hold a big thick one for so long. Anyway all involved were very appreciative.

10/12/2025

What happens when your inspiration is Tim Burton doing a Christmas remake of the Secret Garden? You get this arrangement, gracing the table at .
Instead on an advent calendar this year I have resorted to opening cupboard doors in the kitchen and eating whatever I find. Also never drink AND wrap presents. Note: if anyone gets a remote control, puffer or dirty glass, I’m gonna need that stuff back. Glass cleaned would be wonderful.
What happened to the days when we lived in houses we owned watching TV’s we rented? Now we live in houses we rent with TV’s we own. All while Santa no longer uses the “Naughty “ or “Nice” lists. He now judges a child’s eligibility for a present largely on parental income.
Do you think in an alternate universe Mariah Carey is in a supermarket sick to death of me singing the same song every half hour year after year? I do hope so because I just know other me can’t sing either.
Congratulations to everyone graduating today and tomorrow. We will see you walk through town in the morning, gowns a flutter.
Keep up the good work and remember s*x is like playing Bridge, if you don’t have a good partner you better have a strong hand. Rejection is when the hand goes to sleep.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 we.botanisorflorist.com or 🎅🃏👌 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

08/12/2025

In the words of the bullet that James Packer dodged, “It’s time…” We are at the pointy end of the year.
So I suppose it is too late to go Trick or Treating for martinis?
If buying presents on the interweb, please remember it takes an Amazon driver 45 days to earn what the company Union Buster earns in 1 day. Please shop local.
Now if anyone is spending Christmas alone this year, please let me know. I need to borrow some chairs. Although I tell you, cooking for family members I should poison takes all myself control. Hence no mushrooms this year. I will be doing a slow sautéd tulip bulb though.
We have some wonderful festive themed flowers at various budgets. For fiends, teachers, boss’, years most indespesable staffer or even I don’t know what else to give. With reasonably priced gifts for crinkles or oh, I wasn’t expecting you, are also available.
Have a great week and remember to skip right past the “old enough to know better“ stage and move right into the “who cares” stage.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🎄🎁⛱️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

05/12/2025

Why have we lost the colour from our lives? The 80’s were so bright and happy. Today we live in grey scale with an accent of beige. Is it to make us depressed so we will consume more?
I’m also going to throw in the occasional pic of things I find that would make our society/ community a better place for everyone. Today’s is for tourists, parents and the unhoused.
Here is to all the Multifuktionals out there. Those people doing way too fing much and hanging on by a fing thread, whose pronouns are duck/off. We see you, we support you and we will be your alibi.
The White House has erected its holiday nativity, featuring all the animals the Mango Mussolini can identify from a cognitive test. A horse… a dinosaur..… His advent calendar also has a name from the files behind each door.
Now if anyone is buying for me, I am a size 4 in an old growth forest I can protect and provide an undisturbed habitat for native species to breed and survive.
You know where we are and we love seeing your faces.
Have a great weekend and remember the secret to happiness is to be as weird as you like and the wrong people will leave the party but the right ones will join the dance.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🦜🌳🦘🐨 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

03/12/2025

Happy Humpday from a badass with a good ass.
I have written my Christmas list and it is short this year. 1) $1,000,000 in cash. 2) the souls of all who have displeased me. 3) a puppy and 4) a hot cup of tea with a shortbread biccy.
I see Coles is testing new technology to combat the skyrocketing rise in theft and assault in retail outlets. Here’s an idea, use that money to pay your staff well and employ more staff so that customers get personalised service and feel welcome in your “outlets”. Use that money to bring prices down and stop gouging. The more you become automated, the internet has shown us, customers become alienated. Impersonal service begets rage, theft and disloyalty. There is less regret stealing from a machine. A face, a greeting and a “can I help you” will reduce your problems. Go back to basics and consult Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Your problems lie in trying to be too clever and being way too greedy.
Does anyone else see how many of our problems both political and cultural are the result of a decline in reading, learning and a loss of interest in humanities? Also, pay teachers more!
I realise we can’t make everyone happy. We’re not tiramisù. But we can make a community where we all reach our full potential.
I don’t care if you don’t buy anything from me, come in for personal friendly service. I have served celebrities, Ladies, immigrants, homeless and the rudest, but they all got the same happy pleasant service. And maybe something might catch your eye.
Keep up the good work and remember it is not a “male loneliness epidemic “ it’s natural selection.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 💰📸☹️ 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

01/12/2025

I have one thing to say… Pauline, if you don’t like it go back to where you came from!
And the fresh peonies have just been delivered. First in, very lucky. Best dressed is up to you.
It’s the first of the month and I’m doing a challenge called “December “. It’s where I try to get through every day of December. The reward, a new year.
I wish I was a bin man, they only work on Tuesdays. Well mine does.
Here is to the Goddess Cher, who paid off the cafeteria lunch debt for students in 112 schools in 7 states. This will ensure students can eat without shame or stigma and not go hungry. What has Elon, Jeff or Mark done? It rhymes with hero.
Don’t you get a huge surprise when you buy a 42-inch TV online in the Black Friday sale only to answer the knock at the door to a dwarf transvestite. Read the terms & conditions. I’m calling mine Mamadom.
Today is also World AIDS Day. We have come a long way since the 80’s but one of the most important things is to know your HIV stratus. I will be closing early today, ( 3.30) to go do my blood test. And with advances in medication, an undetectable viral load means untransmissable. HIV stops here.
Have a great week and remember never ask a New Zealander how many partners they have had. They fall asleep counting.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🗑️❤️📺 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

28/11/2025

As it is December next week I thought we might celebrate with a good old Nordic Christmas game of skill.
And to let you know the Christmas window is done and all the decorative bits are out. From baubles to reindeer to puddings for the tree. And they smell of the holiday season. The puddings.
If you’re shopping for a glamour Dolly bird this year, let me give you a bit of advice to save money. Co***ne is cheaper than Chanel, so tell them a pale white powder look will be in next year but do not, I say do not use it instead of icing sugar. You only make that mistake six or seven times.
Changing the empty toilet roll does not cause brain damage of shrinking testicles. Just Do It!
Did you know man’s best friend is a Hot Dog. The only dog that feeds the and that bites it.
If you’re after peonies, you’re too late. I will let you know next week once I have secured some more. See, snooze you loose.
I went to a boxing match last night. I know, me! Anywho I packet fifteen more cartons than anyone else. Yes, bragging.
Have a great weekend remember to be way more interested in how your life feels than how it looks to others.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 📦🌸🌭 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

26/11/2025

Great news for peony lovers, we have fresh from the farm peonies. Get in fast before they disappear. Ah, that scent.
Does the Prime Minister of Sweden have to put his own flat pack cabinet together with an Alan key?
We should all start calling Elon Musk the “greediest man” instead of “richest”, structurally this is most correct.
I knew a woman who would set fire to all her bills when they were in the letterbox. We called her Burnadebt.
Wishing our American listeners a happy thanksgiving tomorrow. Now that’s the celebration of when the Europeans MIGRATED ILLEGALLY to North America and were helped by the native tribes because they were starving? Just checking.
Must send flowers to my Aunty Marg. She has been ill for so long we now call her Aunty I can’t believe she’s not better.
And haters beware I have hired an Asian assassin to protect me. He’s in my phone as Chinese takeout.
Keep up the good work and remember it doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, tall or short, fat or thin, at the end of the day… it’s night.

☎️ 6334 9187, 🖥 www.botanisorflorist.com or 🔥📬😎 112 Cimitiere Street, Launceston.

Botanisör Florist Launceston

17/12/2025

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11/12/2025

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Monday	8:30am - 5:30pm
Tuesday	8:30am - 5:30pm
Wednesday	8:30am - 5:30pm
Thursday	8:30am - 5:30pm
Friday	8:30am - 5:30pm
Saturday	8:30am - 1am