21/12/2020
Hi everyone,
today marks the birthday of having received a ‘Huisverbod’ for ten days.
The police was waiting for me, when I was in the shower, since I was planning on doing a radioshow with Slice Of Pie in Brussels.
I didn’t object, cooperated in any way possible, and was dropped of by the police to do my radioshow afterwards (since I already knew I was going to dedicate my life to doing radioshows whether I was free or not), after having spent some time in a cel, before meeting the person in charge of deciding whether I had a future or not, and whether I worked enough to have human rights we all take for granted.
I never took these for granted, since I already had lost housing when I was ten years old and my whole family is in prison and I didn’t want to end up in prison even though my mom threatened me as a child she would put me in prison. So, my whole life I promised myself to never let something like this happen to me, whether it was ending up in jail or losing my house.
Since I was ten, I worked for 11 years to get a diploma, a job and support my family at the same time (mentally and financially), yet, my family did not support me when I need it the most. Instead, they did their best to ruin my future, since I was not home enough, so they thought I was doing ‘some bad sh*t’ , when actually I was doing rehearsals, doing concerts, working to have money as a student, and studying at the same time, with not more than 4-6 hours of sleep per night, during the four years that preceded these events.
Today, I can say I am very happy that the not-so-racist-police thought I was planning a terrorist attack, even though there wasn’t any indication, besides them not knowing what I did in my private time, without checking in on my work, my school or my friends in the music business.
Apparently, gossip and jealousy is enough, to put a man on the street and take away his means of survival, after breaking his privacy claiming I was ‘a threat to national security’ because I mentioned that ‘there were problems in the world, and I’m working as hard as I can at work, school and in music, to be the change the world & myself needed for a better future’.
I do not object anymore, since during this year, a year in which the world stopped because of a pandemic, I got everything I was working for: yet I’m still broke as f**k, but happier than ever!
I want to thank my mom for not trusting me, even though I always proved myself as being trustworthy, I want to thank my sister for gossiping, without having seen me for years, and ofcourse: I want to thank the police for the discrimination and I want to thank the people working for the Belgian Justice System, for being as dumb as it gets, while having more diplomas than I could ever dream of!
You see, having a ‘huisverbod’ made one thing sure: I will never be a part of my family’s bu****it again, and I can do whatever I was planning on doing, before I had my huisverbod.
So, now I ask you: besides me being an emotional do*****ag after being traumatized by my family, the police and the justice system, did I really deserve to not get a chance to work for a diploma, to lose my job and to lose my money over gossip and assumptions?
Well, since it got me exactly where I wanted to be, I can say yes, I did deserve all of this, since I believed more in myself, than the people I believed in, believed in me. So now here I am, happy and confident, about to release my first rough single, which will be played as the opening track for my radioshow tonight at 8PM!
As a final question for our and my moral understanding: is my punishment correct? Instead of ten days huisverbod, I already did more than 1000 days? If I would have been in jail, with a sentence of 1 year, I already would have done 100 years! So tell me, am I that bad to be punished this hard? To be forgotten, as many people had forgotten about me, and only talk to me about my dj-stuff without asking how my personal life is going? Am I that bad to not be a part of society for years and being forced to re-integrate as if I hadn’t integrated in this society, even though I was born here and integration is not necessary for people whom are born here and go to school here and grew up only having white, innocent friends?
I doubt it, so, I applied changes to my life: I’m back in touch with my culture and other cultures, without sucking the life out if it like people did with me, I’m going a 1000 procent on music and radio, and I’m trying to be a better human by also being the bad version of myself, without pretending to be better than I actually am.
Therefore, I dedicate this single, to all the people I saw and all the people whom helped me and gave me a place to stay, when I lost my legal status in Belgium, and lost my savings from 6 years of work, and lost every result I worked for since when I was a 10-year old on the street and tried to make a better life than the life I had as child..
I dedicate this track, to all of you, that let me sleep on their couch, that taught me music, that taught me to love again, because love was replaced by hate. The hate the Belgian police and justice system spread everyday, the hate I fought against, which was shoved down my throat by my mother, sister and the people whom are supposed to protect us from this same type of hate..
So today, I wholeheartedly accept my huisverbod, and I will celebrate it every year again, because I realize, that if I was in prison right now, I would have already served a sentence that is so long, that I would be nothing but bones and be forgotten by everybody whom had more comfortable lives than a life I could never dream of…
Also, after three years, I'm still living in this illusion in which I still think my huisverbod is just 10 days. I'm still counting down these 10 days, so I can get back to my family, as if I'm the one who has to fix things. I have to remind myself everyday, that my sentence, is a LIFE SENTENCE, and that how good I try to be, it is not me who has to fix things, the people whom are quiet because they know they are responsible, they have to fix things, and I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF... that they never will...
So thanks to all the people for handling my emotional ass, the support & the opportunities you gave me! I can tell you now, that it was not in vain.
You can find the track on Bandcamp after 9PM, when I finished my radioshow in which I’ll be playing this song as opening track (8PM, Bruzz Radio)!
PS: Lots of love to Adel Setta for the crazy artwork that really shows how I felt these last 3 years