12/09/2022
One of the things (that I believe is very toxic) that we are taught As we grow up is that we should always be strong for everyone and that it is good to put other people before you. I was recently watching an Iyanla video and she said “you are the representation of God in your life so when you put yourself last and put other people and things first, it means you are putting God last in your life!!” Nothing and nobody should come before God and that means that you must always put yourself first. You have to treat yourself as well as you want God to treat you so that you can be of service to others. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, it’s not selfish to prioritize your well being, it’s not selfish to look after yourself before everyone else - it is self love and self preservation and it is loving God!! YOU CANNOT POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. So please, go ahead and dish out those NOs when you are not able to say yes, go ahead and draw boundaries, go ahead and remove yourself from toxic situations, go ahead and refuse to be guilt tripped!! It is fine. In any case, those who truly love you will never put you in a position to feel guilty about prioritizing yourself. Those who care about you will never put you in a position to compromise yourself for them. Iyanla concludes by saying “When you give to other people to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you are making other people thieves. You are making them steal from you what you need most.”
Friends, let’s stop this toxic notion that you must “give until it hurts”. If it hurts then it’s not giving out of love it is out of pain and we shouldn’t give in such a context. It’s ok to prioritize yourself, it’s ok to say no, it’s ok to leave toxic spaces and just take the memories. Don’t be a slave of people’s guilt tripping. Thanks to one of my mentors for sharing this video.
Good afternoon bagaetsho
