05/22/2025
I've written this post in my head a million times. But it always felt like I would regret it, or like it was too soon, or that it was just for you guys and not me. But it finally feels OK and like I'm ready, so here it is.
On a platform like this, it's easy to think no one cares, and you're just the face of another account. And on some level, I think that's true. But especially as the growing season starts up, some messages of concern have been pouring in, just simple, soft spoken messages mostly, but behind them, I can feel genuine care.
Once upon a time, I was extremely active here. In planning my content, I always felt a need to stay focused on flowers, keeping my private life private, but inevitably, relationships formed. I feel so fortunate that many followers became friends. So, this post is for me first and foremost, and also, for those of you with whom I have genuinely formed relationships with.
Almost 2 years ago, I lost my sister. Her story is not mine to share, and so I won't. I want to post pictures of how beautiful and vibrant she was, to prove to the world that she was here and that I loved her. Instead, I hold those photos and memories close to my heart, because she was even more private than I am, and she's not here to give the "OK". Maintaining Meadow through that loss and grief was challenging, but also helped me redirect my focus.
After she passed, I was able to receive some genetic testing. This was a massive gift, however, the results were not optimal. I am healthy. But, I have some big decisions on the road ahead, and I've needed to make some very intentional changes to my life, namely a reduction in stress levels. Flowers and farming have been my life and a huge part of my identity for the last 8 years. But for right now, I need to take a step back. All this, in combination with having the absolute loveliest and busiest toddler I've ever been lucky enough to know, means until further notice, things will be quiet at Meadow.
Please find more in the comments 🙏 ⏬️
