Adults deserve and need play too ❤️
When did you last play for the fun of it?
#noguilt #play #playnotjustforkids #innerchild #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #importanceofplay #stressrelief #creativity #problemsolving #newskills
open ended play helps your child think outside the box, remain curious and approach problems with creativity in mind, as logic only gets you so far ❤️#openendedplay #loosepartsplay
Children thrive in the wild 🌲✨
Join our Free to be wild sessions every Friday morning at @goldengrovegelliaur
Book now for our six week summer.
Sessions start 10th June 🌲
Credits ‘wild’ a story by author Emily Hughes. Flying eye books
The trouble with rewards!
Alfie kohn author of ‘punished by rewards’ states that ‘rewards and punishments are two sides of the same coin and it doesn’t pay for much’
Let’s look at What do reward systems teach?
When we start to give rewards for behaviour we teach children that our love and appreciation for them is conditional. We only love or like them when they behave a certain way? This can lead to people pleasing as we suppress how we really want to behave to make others happy.
When we give rewards for activities and tasks children miss out on doing things for their intrinsic value and enjoyment. (Doing something that is rewarding personally to you)
Rewards put the focus on extrinsic motivation and teach children to do tasks to avoid punishment or just to gain that reward. Intrinsic motivation is a longer term method for achieving goals which brings more fulfilment.
Rewards promote the thinking ‘ what can I get for this?’
Rather than
‘ what sort of person do I want to be?’
When the rewards stop the behaviour may stop or the child will no longer be interested in doing that thing.
Instead of rewards try
⭐️setting goals together
⭐️showing appreciation
⭐️encouraging and celebrating
Keep following for more ….
#alfiekohn #instrinicmotivation #unconditionalmotivation #punishmentsandrewards #parentingtips #awareparenting #growthmindset #emtionalintelligence #childdevelopment
It’s not called the great outdoors for nothing 😉hop over to Instagram to see the rest of the video ☺️🌲✨#forestschool #1000hoursoutside #natureplay #playislearning #outdoor #outdoorplay #play #forest #guidingstarjourneys
✨truth Bomb✨
Sometimes I don’t like playing with my children. Here are some reasons why👇
✨I m tired
✨I can’t switch off the to do list
✨my back hurts
✨some types of play are just not for me 🤷♀️
But I know how important it is to show up for my children and join them in their world of play. Children don’t tell you ‘I have problems I want to talk to you,’ they ask ‘can you play with me?’
When you play with your child for five or ten minutes your child feels connection and it strengthens your relationship.
Play builds empathy skills and over time children may start to open up to you and let some of their frustrations and feelings out. My daughter has often thanked me for listening, when all I did was sit and play.
There will be some days that you won’t show up in all the ways you wish you had but that’s ok, we are human and some days are harder than others.
It helps to have a list of ways to play for short periods of time that feel more manageable for you. Because no one wants to play horse with a child on their back after an emotionally or physically draining day.
I will be sharing more about play so keep following for details .
Do you find it hard to play with your child?
#play#playfulparenting #parenting #connection #playisregulation #empathy #respectfulparenting
#bonding #willyouplaywithme #parentingtips #playisimportant #playistheworkofchildhood
Reflecting on my year has helped me realise I need to give myself more credit. I wonder how many of you share that feeling too?
It’s been a challenging year filled with ups and downs and good moments too, for us as a family and for guiding star journeys ❤️
January 2021 the started with home schooling and myself going back to uni. remote learning was challenging, working around the kids and my struggles with BDD resurfaced.
In February I was taken to court and told I had a year left to live in my children’s home before it had to go to sale. Due to my loss of self employed income over 16months of no income, I was unable to get a mortgage. It was difficult to know I couldn’t save their home.
I renamed my business, designed my own logo and returned to work in the woods with a lot of anxiety after so long out. Meanwhile trying to write essays and caring for my children as they struggled too.
I completed aces training for myself, my parenting and my work. I have helped my children with emotional trauma and have seen a Huge difference in my son this year ❤️
I spent my summer catching up on essay writing after having to apply for numerous extensions , on essays and completed my level 7 counselling skills course.
In September I started a masters in counselling and psychotherapy and restarted my regular Friday forest sessions 😅
My worst moment of 2022 was Saying goodbye to our beloved dog seren😢We miss her so
I had a busy December with uni and work as I struggled with burn out from such an exhausting year with little support.
It’s been emotional, hard work, exhausting and I have wanted to quit university so many times.
It’s tough Trying to Balance everything and the things that have got me through are the connections, the play and nurturing myself and my relationships.
I go into 2022 not knowing where we may end up living but hopeful that I will find a way to keep guiding star journeys going. I look forward to working with fam
Expectation v reality
We are only human and
Sometimes we are able to use our skills and thrive and sometimes we are just trying to survive and we make mistakes. It’s okay and it’s going to happen.
The goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to show up, be authentic and do the best we can every day.
For the times we didn’t respond well, we can come back to them take responsibility, apologise, repair and reconnect.
Keep going the relationship with your child is worth it ❤️
#parenting#selfhealingjourney #noshortcuts #skiptothegoodpart #awareparenting #consciousparenting #parentingtips #showup
What’s the secret to avoid Christmas stress?
Watch the reel or read to the end to find out ….
Start Christmas earlier
⭐️some people enjoy starting Christmas earlier and that’s okay if you do but don’t let yourself feel any pressure that ‘ should ‘ too
If you Start to feel any pressure rising as others share photos and remember you have the choice on what your social media shows you. If you need to mute or hide from your newsfeed. Protect your mental health
⭐️better time management
This can be helpful but ask yourself what you’re fitting in and why? It’s helpful to remember that what’s the most important thing to you for this time of year. Align your commitments to your values and allow time for rest and play that you really enjoy and isn’t just for photos and memories.
⭐️make a to do list
Who doesn’t love a list to tick off ? I know I do but it can be very tempting to be over productive when you’re making to do lists. A good tip might be to try to balance it out with some things for nurture, play and connection eg 👇
- wrap presents
- watch a Christmas film
- decorate the tree
- dance to Christmas music
- write Christmas cards
- hug the kids
And if the the list doesn’t get ticked off just remember to breath and tell yourself it doesn’t Mather if you don’t send those cards out . Your well being is more important just text them instead ❤️
⭐️push yourself to do more
It’s very tempting to want to do all the Christmas things you see on social media but Don’t lose sight of what you value you most. If fitting in every activity from North Pole breakfasts , to Christmas jumper photos isn’t as important to you as it is to just spend time being present with your children.
Anyone else just wanna dive in?
I Saw this huge leaf pile today and knew exactly who would enjoy throwing themselves into this with me 😍🍁🍁🍁🍁
And this was the First thing she did when she saw it. It Just made me think of this tune as I was watching her had to put it together 😂❤️
We spent two hours under this tree together playing and connecting 😍🍂
#leafpile#autumnleaves #fall#outdoorplay#whereistheloveblackeyedpeas #whereisthelove #connection#play
#attachmentplay #familytime #autumn#natureplay
#keepitsimple #joy #parentingtips
What does success mean to you?
Recently I told my therapist..‘I m not really successful as my business doesn’t earn a lot of money yet ‘
He helped me to get curious and explore the belief I held that ‘success meant having money??’
I realised that success meant different things to different people and it’s all about perspective.
I may not have a lot of money but I feel good about what I do and the difference I make to the lives of children and families who I come into contact with.
Success doesn’t equate to having lots of money or owning a lot of material things. If you look up the definition of success there is no mention of the word wealth!
For me Success isn’t about how something looks from the outside it’s about how it feels from the inside.
It’s about purpose, aims and goals . And my purpose is to provide playful moments for children and adults. My aim is to guide them to reconnect to themselves to nature and to nurture their inner childhood wounds and strengthen their relationships with their children.
That’s my new version of success ❤️🔥🍁🍄🌿
So What does success look like for you?
#success #lifegoals #purposefulliving #missionsuccess #newwaysofthinking
#mentalhealthawareness #becurious
Sometimes our child’s behaviour can really activate us and we just want it to stop and we resort to unhelpful ways to try to control them.
It’s helpful to remember that all children want to cooperate. They want to do well when they’re able too. They want to connect with you.
As the adults it’s up to us to remember that it’s not personal and their behaviour doesn’t say anything about us as a parent/ teacher or care giver .
It’s a sign that they are struggling and need some support with their big feelings and struggles .
Meet children where they are with empathy and respect. Use play to connect , help them to regulate and then try Problem solving.
Just like us sometimes their feelings get the better of them but their brains are not yet developed so they need us to guide them not to control them .
I find using play and problem solving the best way to support my kids and sometimes just validating their feelings back to them.
What positive tools do you use to to support your children?
#parentingtips #childdevelopment #consciousnessparenting #raisinghumans #playfulparenting #kids #respectfulparenting
You never need to apologise for
Not being perfect! None of us are.
Parenting is hard, it’s messy, exhausting and it can be crazy Hectic at times😅adding expectations onto that just makes is even harder.
We are all in this together and we can relate so be kind to yourself and remember.
‘ those that matter don’t mind and those that do mine don’t matter ‘ ❤️#l
#parentingtips #parenting #motherhood #mothersunite #judgementfreezone #wedontcare
