15/02/2017
A father's beautiful letter to his daughter on the day of her wedding.
Many fathers feel pride in their daughters on a special occasion, but for writer Paul Daugherty of Cincinnati, Ohio, his daughter Jillian’s wedding held an extra note of joy. Jillian has Down syndrome and, as Daugherty wrote in a heartfelt letter in honor of her wedding day, “I don’t know what the odds are of a woman born with Down syndrome marrying the love of her life. I only know you’ve beaten them.”
When Jillian was born Daugherty and his wife, Kerry, knew that they could fight for her right to education and work, but, he wrote, "What we couldn’t do was make other kids like you. Accept you, befriend you, stand with you in the vital social arena. We thought, What’s a kid’s life, if it isn’t filled with sleepovers and birthday parties and dates to the prom? I worried about you then. I cried deep inside on the night when you were 12 and you came downstairs to declare, ‘I don’t have any friends.’”
But, he continued, "I shouldn’t have. You’re a natural when it comes to socializing. They called you The Mayor in elementary school, for your ability to engage everyone. You danced on the junior varsity dance team in high school. You spent four years attending college classes and made lifelong impressions on everyone you met. Do you remember all the stuff they said you’d never do, Jills? You wouldn’t ride a two-wheeler or play sports. You wouldn’t go to college. You certainly wouldn’t get married. Now… look at you."
“A decade ago, when a young man walked to our door wearing a suit and bearing a corsage made of cymbidium orchids said, ‘I’m here to take your daughter to the Homecoming, sir,’ every fear I ever had about your life being incomplete vanished,” Daugherty wrote. “Now, you and Ryan are taking a different walk together. It’s a new challenge, but it’s no more daunting for you than anyone else. Given who you are, it might be less so. Happiness comes easily to you. As does your ability to make happiness for others... It worked out for you, because of the person you are.”
And so this loving father asks everyone, "Do not look at my daughter, and define her by her appearance. See her, and allow her to define herself." As he told ABC News, "every single of one of [the 125 guests at the wedding] had helped Jillian get to that day... Those who have taken the time to see Jillian, rather than simply look at her, have benefited from the relationship, and rewarded with a lifetime friend."
To read more about the Jillian's wedding on Today, visit http://on.today.com/1K6IG4k - or you can read her father's complete letter on The Mighty at http://bit.ly/1Ik9CIo
Paul Daugherty is also the author of a touching memoir about the experience of raising Jillian, “An Uncomplicated Life: A Father’s Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter,” at http://www.amightygirl.com/uncomplicated-life
Many parents discover that books about Down syndrome and other intellectual abilities ignore or neglect information about sexuality, even though romantic relationships are a natural part of any teen’s development. For a great book about kids with Down Syndrome and sexuality, check out “Teaching Children With Down Syndrome About Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality” at http://www.amightygirl.com/teaching-children-with-ds
There are several wonderful children's books about kids with Down syndrome that are perfect for teaching the value of acceptance of differences, including the excellent "We'll Paint the Octopus Red" (http://www.amightygirl.com/we-ll-paint-the-octopus-red) and "My Friend Isabelle" (http://www.amightygirl.com/my-friend-isabelle) -- both for ages 4 to 8.
One way to make socialization easier for kids with disabilities is to ensure that they are represented in children’s literature! For a selection of books featuring characters with disabilities, visit our section on "People with Disabilities" at http://amgrl.co/1nmtpnp
And, for our favorite children's books about the special father-daughter bond, as well as several parenting books focused on forging a strong relationship, visit our post "A Father's Love: A Mighty Girl Celebrates Fathers" at http://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=11474
