23/01/2018
Four years ago today my 9 year old son, Samuel, died.
Five months of pain, fear and sadness would of broke most people. Instead, Samuel started a charity to help the other kids on his ward.
The picture is of his bed just after he died. It captures the emptiness I felt losing him. Over the last four years I have, with the support of some amazing people, kept his charity going. Just after he died I thought it would keep me busy, stop the pain invading every moment. Then, as the months passed, I thought it could help me feel closer to Samuel. A way to stay close, a link that would survive his passing.
None of this was the case. Nothing I did stopped the deep grief or the anger, sadness, guilt or pain. His younger sister mourned his passing too and that added to my grief, seeing her so sad.
But the truth is his charity only did what he wanted it to do. It helped other kids through the unbelievably awful time that serious and terminal conditions create.
I am more commited to his charity today than I was back then. When Samuel was sick I felt an overwhelmimg helplessness - watching him slowly and painfully die in front of me, a bit every day.
Now I see what the charity does, bringing much needed and normally unaffordable equipment to kids wards. Equipment that reduces pain and improves their quality of life.
We provide entertainment equipment and decorate wards - whatever the kids need to bring a smile. We also support individual children going through treatment.
Samuel knew that bringing some light and laughter into an otherwise dark and painful day makes a big difference. It wards off the slip into depression, helps give a child a reason to get up, to carry on and to feel less an outcast or prisoner.
Today is so emotional for myself and all of Samuel's family. We want to say a huge thank you to all who have supported us so far and to ask for support from those who can help.
To continue and increase what we do, and there is a huge need across the UK as so many NHS hospitals are massively underfunded, we need individuals and companies to support us through donations, participating in events and partnering with us.
If you think you can help, or know someone who might, then email me at [email protected]
I wish what we do would stop any child from losing their battle, but that is not possible. With your help though, we can make a difference, one that brings a smile to thousands of children and to their families as well.
This, my little man, is for you.
Love dad ###