07/11/2023
So why did I become a celebrant..?
If you have 5 mins, have a gander at my journey...
Well, it turned out that 2022 was to be a pivotal one for me.
On 2 April, I lost my amazing mum after a struggle with dementia and a short but horribly powerful multiple-cancer diagnosis. She was an incredible lady (I know weād all say that about our mums) and, like it or not, I find myself becoming more like her by the day (not the incredible bit, just all those funny little idiosyncrasies that you swear youāll never inherit but - be warned! - you do). She died 11 years after my dad, an equally lovely man who taught me the gift of never giving up when the going gets tough.
At both my mum and dadās funerals, we were lucky to have wonderful celebrants officiate, and I played a major role in writing the ceremonies. After Mumās service, a few people said to me, āHayley youād be brilliant at thatā¦ Have you thought about being a celebrant?ā
It got me thinking...
Around the same time, I made the mammoth decision to take voluntary redundancy from my job in magazine publishing. I was excited and devastated and terrified in equal measures. Iād helped to tell real peopleās incredible, funny, grisly, heartbreaking, moving stories for 34 years of my life. What now?
After some rest and grieving time, it was a chance for try my hand at something new, career-wise. That meant celebrancy, right? No, first off, it meant playing Mother Christmas for nearly 2 months at Lapland UK. Singing, dancing and acting... Who, me?! I had the BEST time. And it gave me a huge confidence boost.
Then, larking about on stage done with, I bit the bullet and began training with the Academy of Modern Celebrancy to be a funeral celebrant.
(I decided wedding and naming celebrancy would follow at a later date - watch this space!)
It would be a new way for me to tell peopleās real-life storiesā¦
Death and the rite of passage we call a funeral should be respected, yes, but I really believe that the taboos surrounding them also need to be broken. We are all born, we all die. I feel itās time to blow away the cobwebs and help people truly celebrate their loved oneās life in whatever way feels right to them.
In these days of ādirect cremationsā and folk ānot wanting a fussā, I think itās more important than ever to mark someoneās passing - a) because they deserve it, and b) because not doing so, I believe, will build a whole generation left coping with unresolved grief.
But that neednāt mean funerals have to be all black clothes, hushed whispers, tears and curled up sarniesā¦ It could equally be a celebration of life in their favourite place - be it in a pub, football ground, or festival field.
And the beauty of using an independent celebrant is that you can do just that. You have freedom in where and when you have a ceremony.
Though challengng at times, I loved every minute of my training, and was ready to forge my new roleā¦ With my very first service being the interment of my own parentsā ashes - complete with a furry bat, amateur radio paraphernalia and the ceremonial sprinkling of M&S gin and tonic.
I love people and I love storytelling... My passion is listening to someone's life story then weaving it into a meaningful service that is as individual as they were.
Changing career at the age of 57 may have been daunting but I hope that, in my role as an independent celebrant, I can help others truly celebrate the life their loved one lived - however they would like that to happen.