Inger - Celebrant

20/09/2022

As I watched the impact of the late Queen’s death on us, I’ve been reflecting on the many different and personal ways that grief affects each of us. For some, a simple acknowledgement suffices: a moment to reflect on the life lost, and the impact that life had on the individual. Others might need to share their grief, by talking about their memories with others and comparing their experiences of the deceased with them, or on the circumstances that brought them together, literally or figuratively, through local and national events. Yet more mourners are overcome with emotion and need to display it, almost as a badge of honour, signalling to others the depth of feeling they are experiencing.

What’s your experience of grief? As someone who witnesses grief in many mourners in my role as Funeral Celebrant, I see many shades of emotion associated with the loss of a life, whatever a person’s relationship was with the deceased. Most of us will put on a brave public face for a funeral, which may last half a day, if you include a reception. In some cultures, the period of mourning lasts for days - but often those traditions are partnered with an expectation that the mourners can release their emotions throughout the mourning period.

What I find astonishing is the way that the British Royal Family are putting so much of themselves in the public eye through their mourning, yet they manage to remain stoic. Pageantry and tradition aside: is this really fair? Do we expect this of any grieving family? It has been suggested that these duties, these ceremonials, are helping them to deal with their grief: I sincerely hope that’s the case.

I grieve in a very British, private way, whether that’s right or wrong - it’s my way.
However close my relationship is to you: please don’t expect me to stand vigil after your death, march behind your coffin or talk to complete strangers about my feelings.

There are some for whom the Queen’s life was not something to be celebrated: I hope for them there will be reconciliation, and a time to let go of resentment, of anger. But I hope that this period of mourning is followed by celebration: for a life well lived, for the joy of what this woman brought into our lives. Rest in peace.

07/08/2022

20/06/2022

Such a beautiful poem that was shared with me recently:

Behind the eyes.
You wear it well, that great disguise,
But I can see behind your eyes.
The many tears you have cried,
All of them you’ve tried to hide.
Scared to show the real you,
And all the pain that you’ve gone through.
Thinking of others and trying to save,
You feel the need to appear brave.
But feel no guilt in having to share,
You’ll find so many people, out there care,
Many want to play a part,
To help repair your broken heart.
The grief you carry and pain you’ve had,
We understand why you’re so sad,
But many others share such grief.
And opening up will bring relief,
There is no need to feel alone,
Just pick up the telephone.
Your friends and family understand,
There to lend a helpful hand.
So, feel no shame in feeling down,
No shame in sometimes, a need to frown.
It takes some time to deal with grief,
But shared with others brings relief.
They’d rather see the real you,
They’ll understand what you’ve been through.
So don’t avoid or try to hide,
No need to bottle things inside.
Some grief will stay with you forever,
But it helps when we all stick together.

14/06/2022

14/06/2022

14/06/2022

05/04/2022

Thanks to the client who left this testimonial:
I approached Inger to conduct the ceremony for a dear friend who sadly passed away recently. She visited my home and was warm friendly and caring. She wanted to know as much background knowledge of my friend so she could build a picture of the man he was . Her attention to detail was exceptional. She kept me informed every step of the way to make sure I was happy with the way the service was going to be presented. Needless to say the ceremony was perfect and a fitting tribute to my friend. I would recommend Inger to anyone looking for a celebrant to officiate at a loved ones farewell

30/12/2021

You found me. I can help you deal with the challenges of losing a loved one. As a celebrant I conduct personalised funeral services, in a place and time of your choice. I can also advise you on all aspects of funeral arrangements, whether traditional, natural, modern or multi cultural. Let me be your guide through difficult times: I'm here to help.