Rägnvaldr Andrewson - Shaman in Training

Rägnvaldr Andrewson - Shaman in Training My name is Ronnie. I'm a learning Heathen. This is a lil blog of my progress :))

06/03/2024

Just a little check in. I'm not dead!

I've been quiet recently, and it'll stay that way for a while. I'm currently focusing on my studies at university, everything else has been put on the back-burner. I'm excited though, because I've been applying for some placements this summer, and would love the opportunity to get a taste of actually working in physics.

I regained the weight I lost. It was a rough winter last year. I'm trying to bounce back as best I can, though. Going to the gym again, meal prepping again. I do at least think I don't look as big as I did this time last year, because more of that weight is muscle mass. So I still look a little leaner than I was.

On the brighter side, I've actually got a provisional diagnosis for ADHD, and am finally awaiting medication for it. I've got everything crossed that it'll help to largely take the edge off of my lack of impulse control and focus.

I'm leaving the shamanic path for a while. I'm still a proud Heathen, but shamanic work proved too much for me to handle without making too many mistakes. I aim to revisit the path in the future, when I'm a bit older, wiser and more experienced.

That's what's been going on with me, really. I hope all of you are well. May the gods watch over you all.

26/09/2023

Life can suck, hard.

I've felt disconnected recently, from the gods and from my spirituality. Its a trial for sure. I feel low, like I'm in a pit. Its nothing I haven't faced before. I've climbed out of deeper holes.

One thing I like to do, when I'm feeling like that ton of bricks is on my chest as I lay in bed, is to heal with music. In a specific way. I'm almost definitely not the inventor of this method, but this was from my own mind and not outside influence.

I have 2 playlists for this. One is called The Pit. This is filled with sad and depressing songs. I listen to those, queue up maybe 6 or 7, and really allow myself to feel the feels.

The second is called The Climb. And this has songs in it that get progressively more feel good and happy. They start low, and eventually become very upbeat. This allows me to transition into a functioning member of society for a while.

Never underestimate how much music can touch your soul, how much it can whisper to you when no words are even being sung.

I will climb out of this pit, once I reach the bottom of it. Its a natural part of life, peaks and troughs.

As I fall down that pit once more, may the parts of me that must be shed, die. May Hel take that layer which I leave behind. When I inevitably lay at the bottom, may the deep dwarven forges strengthen my being. May the elves inspire with light and love so I may begin my climb. May my ancestors watch me in awe and shock as I recover from yet another tribulation. When i reach the top of that pit, may the winds of Hræsvelgr's wings carry me forward and propel me into new life. May this break me open, and not break me down.

22/08/2023

Thought I'd share something I wrote back in January. It's one of my favourite poems I've written. Let me know what you think :))

Poem: Sound Garments
By Ronnie Nobbs

How can one begin to describe melody
Blissful tunes that echo souls of thousands years passed
Vibrations we cause, and we hold
So the spirits can dance with bodies they never had
Memories made to surface
Of experiences never had
The beauty of sound cannot be touched, nor compared
How many messages can one convey?
With a song woven by one's whole being

Aural fabric stitches it's way through
Deep into our hearts and minds
We wear songs like garments, to share love
Yet this holds no candle to music, nor the feelings that it invokes, nor the song weavers
I bid you feel, breathe, love and hold the sounds in all their might
For in darkest days, the radiance cuts through the umbral
And carries you home from the farthest shores

Infinite possibilities, we hold creation in our hands
With music we can touch the gods, we can listen to cosmos
We can achieve anything
Motivation, transformation, reincarnation
Inspiration, determination, unification
Annihilation, ruination, devastation
It's all there, it's everywhere around us
No bad or good, only song, only sound
We must use it as we see fit, for it is ancient, long before the gods
Song is our release, so we release the song

01/06/2023

When you reach success, when you attain your goal, people may tell you to thank the gods for getting you to where you are.

The gods did not give me my current physique, the gods did not give me my current mind. They planted the seeds, I tended the garden. They have far more important things to tend to than my mere musculature and mind.

I did not offer to any of the gods to make my body better. I offered my suffering and pain to the god within myself. To the core of my being. I granted it libation, and it set to work.

I have chiseled myself out from stone, both body and mind. Every shaping strike was my own. Every strike had pain behind it, and shook me to my core. But I keep carving. I keep offering my suffering to the god within me, to climb closer to a perfection I know I'll never reach

This is not a singular goal I am working towards. This is a continuous path striving upwards on the mountain. The further I ascend, the more pain I endure and the more pain I heal from.

This mountain has no peak I could reach in a lifetime. But the closer I get to the top, the better a man I am. The more I become a man worthy of respect.

The gods guide me, and they comfort me. They teach me of my soul and how its parts work. They teach me of all that I don't know about myself. Nothing is handed to me on a plate.

The gods made it possible, but I made it real.

22/05/2023

It's crazy to believe how different of a place I'm in this year compared to last. This time last year I was mid mental breakdown cram learning all 4 of my modules in 3 weeks, stress eating my way into oblivion, not working out, feeling like the gods had abandoned me.

Now I feel much better. Still have s**t days where I feel like I can't do much. But I'm gymming 6 days a week, connecting with the gods daily, I'm on top of my courses and possibly on track to get first class grades this year.

I'm eating healthy compared to having a takeaway every night and 2 meal deals for breakfast and lunch. I'm better off financially, having money saved up rather than living loan to loan.

I'm at my lightest weight since 2020, 112.7kg today. All time low in fat mass and fat %.

And I am fu***ng proud of myself. I dug my way out of that pit I'd fallen into. I guided myself back out of it.

Thankyou to everyone who's supported me along this journey. I've got a ways to go, but f**k me am I ready for it.

- Rägnvaldr Andrewson

10/05/2023

Finally managed to change the name :))

Doing some vanir based rituals this week, gonna spend some time in nature where I get the chance to.

03/05/2023

Barring the unfortunate temporary name, this page is going to be given new life. I used to be one of the people who owned it, and now it's returned to me.

GaldrSkaldr is of course, no more. Going forward, this page will be a mini blog about my journey as a Heathen and a shaman in training :))

Many happy returns to all of you,

Verr Haill!

- Ronnie "Ragnvaldr Andrewson" Nobbs

03/05/2023

This page is now owned by Ronnie Nobbs. Don't be alarmed by the changes

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