Jonah Matanda

05/04/2024

PART 1 : RADIO JAMBO PATANISHO😂😂😂😂✍🏼

GHOST: Akinyi umesema mliulizana nini na wafula 😁

AKINYI: Nilimpata na mpango wa kando kwa nyumba ile hasira nilikuwa nayo nikachukua nguo zangu nikaenda😎.

GIDI: 😊😊😊😊.

GHOST: oooh saa after kumpata na mwana dada mwingine ukajitoa ?🤗

AKINYI: Yah nilijitoa nikakaa 1week hivi nika time saile alienda kazi nikarudi kwa nyumba nikachukua kila kitu, nilimuachia sufuria na vikombe pekeyake💔😂 !

GIDI: Salale!!! Yani ukachukua kila kitu😂 🤣.

GHOST: Akinyi unamaanisha nini ukisema ulichukua kila kitu ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

AKINYI: Nilibeba vitu ambazo nilinunua na pesa zangu 😓.

GHOST: Ooh na saa mbona unataka kurudiana na wafula ? 🤔

Gidi:💻💻💻😊😊🙃

AKINYI: Juu nampendaa sanaaa napia nataka asaidie mtoto wake 😁😁.

GHOST: Ooooh shikilia hapo tumpigie wafula...

📞📞📞📞.

[Wafula anapigiwa simu, anachukua]

GIDI: Hello wafula, hapa ni radio jambo🙄, mke wako Akinyi ametuarifu alikuacha baada ya kukupata na mpango wa kando.....sasa...anatakaaaa😯...[kabla amalize kuongea wafula anamkatiza]

WAFULA: Gidi skia..... Nlikuw tuned kwa radio jambo😪. Huyo mke amewadanganya😒. Ni mm nilimfukuza baada ya kumpata akireduce maji ya kusonga ugali💔😬.

GHOST: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 continue in comment section

01/11/2023

Mwanaume Dem akikuita kwake ,chapa usafi Bora ;Boxer ikuwe Safi ,fika kwake nock in style😋😂😂,akitokezea tu ivi😂😂just hug her ,carry her on your arms while kissing her deeply💋😋😂😂piga mlango teke ujifunge ,no need to take her in the bedroom,,Put her down kwa sofa😂😂jifanye umesahau CD😋ask her K**a ako na CD yoyote hata K**a Ni ya Rose Muhando ama DJ Afro 😂😂😂Bora inataja juu ya mapenzi😂😂
Kaa na yeye tu mkiwatch hio movie/song 😂😂😂😋na ukiona unafikiria vibaya 😂😂amka enda kwako wachana na tabia mbaya✊Sipendi umalaya 😂😂🙌🙌,,,,

Hope I'm not dreaming!??😂😂😂💔
Follow my page

01/11/2023

Hakuna dem hutumiwa vibaya k**a dem anapenda,gari,pombe na road trip na Hana kakitu🤦,,hii itaguza wengi💔💔😹😹😹

28/10/2023

😭😭Leo nimepanda matatu nikakaa karibu na ka-dem flani 😌😌 na alikuwa na smartphone 📱 na imagine mimi niko na kamulika mwizi yenye haina kifuniko...so nikajijaza k**a maasai wa ki-moran ambaye ng'ombe yake imekuliwa na chui ☺☺ nikaiweka kwa maskio, "hello Mogaka, nakujia hiyo gari saizi na usinipigie saizi ju smartphone yangu imelost ndo naenda kununua ingine saizi....imagine niko na scrape ya huyo boy wangu wa mkono ndo natumia saizi....and by the way nikifika tao nitakutumia 70k umalizie kuunda hiyo gari. " 😌😌

Kumalizia kuongea nikaskia huyo dem ananiita, " excuse me.. battery yako ndo hii ilikuwa imeanguka wakati umeanza kuongea." 😏😏😏

Wakuu 👩
Imebidi nisimamishe gari nishukie hapo 😥😥🙆

05/04/2023

A part from kuomba charger, mapenzi ya plot huanza aje wakuu🥺🥺🤤😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

02/04/2023

Show your support for Azimio and by updating the attached photo on your Whatsapp status, Facebook and Instagram stories, and as your profile picture. Let the world know that you stand for truth and justice.

26/03/2023

Uko kwenu kumenyesha ama bado🙆‍♂️
Sema ni mtaa gani???🙈🙈

18/03/2023

A rich💰 man 👨 looked through his window and saw a poor🧟‍♂️ man picking something from his dustbin🗑️ 🧔He said🗣️Thank GOD I'm not poor.💰🙏

🧟‍♂️The poor man looked around 👀and saw a naked man🧔misbehaving on the street 🌄 He said🗣️ Thank GOD I'm not mad.🧔🙏

🧔The mad man looked ahead 👀and saw an ambulance🚑 carrying a patient🤕 He said🗣️Thank GOD am not sick.🛌🙏

🛌Then a sick person in hospital saw a trolley taking a dead body⚰️ to the mortuary 😪He said 🗣️Thank GOD I'm not dead.⚰️🙏❤️

⚰️Only a dead person cannot thank God.
🙄Why don't you thank GOD today for all your blessings❤️ and for the gift of life for life💝💝😍

Please bless my life by clicking the + or tap the follow button on my profile🙏heaven will reward you as you do so🙏😊😍💝

Tap here 🙏😭👉 Jonah Matanda MatandaJonah Matanda

18/03/2023

Laugh With 🤣

😂Another banger✅

A girl was with her father when he saw her boyfriend coming.

GIRL: Have you come to collect your book titled "DADDY IS HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor.

BOY: No, I want that our hymns called "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?"

GIRL: I don't have that one... may be you should take the other one "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" by Chimamanda Adichie.

BOY: Fine, but don't forget to bring "I WILL CALL YOU IN 5 MINS" while coming to school...

GIRL: I will also bring this one too, "I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by Chinua Achebe.

Then;DAD: These are too many books, will he read all of them?

GIRL: Yes dad, he is very smart.

DAD: Okay, don't forget to give him the one on the table titled, "I AM NOT STUP!D, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by Shakespeare!

And also the one on the dinning titled "IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED" by Wole Soyinka.
🤣🤣🤣😂
Please Join our group 😭🙏👉 😍AMAZING 😍AMAZING JOKES😍😍AMAZING JOKES😍😍AMAZING JOKES😍😍AMAZING JOKES😍

18/03/2023

Madems wa siku hizi wamekubali kuenda kufanya meid ili wapate nyumba poa ya kuzungusha matako Tik Tok😂😂😂😂

18/03/2023

Nikikupea chance utaniguza wapi .....comment fupifupi

18/03/2023

Nikikuomba kitu inaanza na

Ku'''😁😁
Wewe unaweza nipea
Nini😔😔😔💔

12/03/2023

County gani ikitolewa kenya nchi inaboeka sannaaaa😭😭🤣🤣🎤🎤

09/03/2023

Kuna Nabii nasikia mahali anachochea watu ......MATAKO SANA...

24/02/2023

Our Father in heaven, bless those who insert Amen.🙏🙏

24/02/2023

I will Bless and Surprise with 65,000 Breakfast anyone that
finds another letter apart from O
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

07/01/2023

Huku kwetu Amerika hakuna haja ya kuweka cameras sisi wenyewe ndio CCTV azn tuko na shift

04/01/2023

Bro k**a unadate dem analia kila mnapogombana tunza iyo mali ju wamebaki tu wawili kenya

04/01/2023

Mwanamke wa kweli analewa glass moja ya wine, alafu kuna hawa wanajeshi.

04/01/2023

Ukipata mke unakuwa umepata Jiko
Je! ukipata mume unakuwa umepata nini?😂😂😂

04/01/2023

Imagine Kuna mtu ameshika mwaka na kukuliwa🙄😂😂

04/01/2023

K**a Mungu ni muhimu kuliko hio simu yako sema Asante MUNGU 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

04/01/2023

K**a hukutolewa nguo on CHRISTMAS NA BOXING DAY ALAFU LEO niiite MBUZI😭😭😭😁😄😃😅

17/12/2022

Wewe ni wagapi kwenu kuzaliwa ukipata mwezako katambe inbox......DON'T SPOIL

14/12/2022

France......kwenda mbele si kufika.......

20/10/2022