03/11/2022
Seasonings - Raising Teenagers
Most of us love seasoning our food to make it tasty or give it flavour. Sometimes we crave something spicy, something savoury, something hot. Sometime in our lives, we have all consumed seasoning, spices if you like in our foods, knowingly or unknowingly.
There are people who do not consume spices at all due to health related issues, others do not consume them because they do not like them or their stomachs behave funny when they do, others don't care too much or know about them. But for those that love them, do you!
Which spices do you use in your meals? Yes, tea has been spiced from day in memorial. Tea masala is a common spice used in tea leaving it with a gingerly taste and nice aroma. Tea leaves are even infused with flavours with great aroma and taste.
I find seasonings similar to teenagers. Raising teenagers in this generation is a challenge - both good and bad, literally. You see like seasonings, when you use a little or more of it, the same applies to teenagers. If you give them too much attention, you smother them, if you give them little attention, they feel neglected.
Teenagers are the most misunderstood beings in the universe. Like seasonings, everyone has their own misconceptions or ideas about them. That they are artificial thus causing illnesses, that they do not make food tasty. Why use them, why not use natural spices?
You see teenage years are of identifying oneself. Like, 'why is this happening to me, why is this growing here, why are people doing this', etc. It is when reality is dawning on you. It is when you 'stop being a child' as some would demand. Same with seasonings, you experiment with each to find how they make your food turn out.
My generation and generation before me me, growing up was just that, growing up. Our parents were busy raising children because most of us come from big families, while they worked. Most of them did not understand these things just like we did not. I can tell you for free that there were no many teenage let alone adult discussions in most homes.
Notably, 21:00hrs was bed time for most of us while it was time for 'grown up talks' or grown ups could watch their programs then. Remember the Bold and the Beautiful series on KBC everyday after the news? I was sent to bed exactly at 21:00hr only to catch the re-run on Sunday when I visited my aunt🙄.
In the midst of identifying themselves, teenagers lose themselves in the process if they don't have anyone guiding them. When we are going through something, we sometimes need someone to talk to. But the need for attention for teenagers is often termed as 'needy' or 'spoilt' and in return, they bottle up their emotions.
Many a times we would compare today's teen generation and say we turned up well despite not given time or listened to so they should too. However, times are changing. Its in the year 2022 where technology is changing the dynamics. People, children included are evolving. Like adults too, teenagers have room to speak their minds and do what they think works for them.
It is not like we are being lenient or letting them have their ways. And mark you, we haven't put the whip down but today, we are having healthy discussions. Everyone has room to express themselves. And, they are learning it at a very young age.
When using seasonings, use them sparingly because most of them also have salt. When you salt your food and season them too, balance them equally otherwise the food will not be eaten by anyone.
Teenagers like any other person has emotions- happiness, confusion, sadness or anger and when you come in high tempered or with other issues, they act up, they keep to themselves and that environment becomes unbearable.
Yes, they need to be handled with care, with lots of love and attention. So much information out there that if not scare them, will build or destroy them. Peer pressure is playing a major role in our children. What you don't teach them or talk about with them, they will experiment it with others.
Technology - phones, laptops and even TV is the new normal. They and even us adults sometimes apply what we see. When we are curious about something, Google sets us right. So many sites with different information. Be careful what you get exposed to. If you get used to a certain seasoning, you will not eat your food without it.
Yes, it is becoming difficult raising teenagers if we do not understand they are human as well, they are growing and things have changed. We will always fight with them when they want their way and we want it our way or our way, you know what I mean? When we shove things down their throats, they feel trapped and they want out.
However much you love seasonings, use them sparingly, and it is okay if you don't like them. We do not all have to like them. You do not have to raise your child how society expects you to. At a certain age, these children spread their wings and meet different others from different backgrounds.
High school is a start and this is where all mayhem begins especially when they go to boarding schools. You need all patience and grace by now. Of course it is difficult adjusting. We all went through this phase but given the dynamics and all sad stories happening nowadays, we are bound to hear their cries even when we don't understand them or don't know what to do.
Things are changing so fast. If our children do not move to school with unhealed trauma, they come home having picked it from school or anywhere else. Sadly, this is true. Then when we do not listen to their grievances, they end up reacting.
A teenage boy or girl, eats more or less, plays more or less, talks more or less, interacts more or less, is more outgoing or not at all. All this is okay. But when one changes from one extreme to the next, there is cause for alarm.
Being a teenager is dressing differently because that is what works for you. We have all seen them in scorching sun wearing jumpers with hoodies and with something else heavy underneath. Yes, it is a phase or 'trend' as they would call it. But, try and find out if there is anything else besides that.
When you are raising a teenage boy or girl, being their friend is paramount. When a child knows they can come to you as a parent to talk or listen or when they know you have their back, they will always run to you, be free with you and open up to whatever it is they are going through.
Teens want it easy and not too serious. They want to do chores time best for them. They actually have a phobia for too much seriousness. They want you to take it easy with them.
They want you to know their friends and even have a conversation with them. They leave their friends at the gate or by the road if you are home because you do not allow it. They will always disconnect the phone when you come in because you don't like them talking on the phone with them.
So, if you like spices, well and good. If you don't, it is still okay but do not bash those that do. Just because you are raising your child differently and they are turning okay doesn't mean someone else is doing a bad job at it. All parents are on a different journey raising and taking care of their children. To each their own.
Seek help if you have to. FYI, counselling/therapy really helps, not only in movies. If you feel overwhelmed, please seek help for both you and your teenage child. You might be surprised at what you thought you were doing wrong and it is actually right and vice versa.
Teens want their space. I know 🙄🤦! They want to be left alone. Isn't there a time in your life when you feel you just want to be alone? Sometimes they say very little. Find out how yours is acting and find ways to cope with or around it.
Pilau or tea masala, royco or royco cubes, knorr beef or knorr onion seasoning, cumin or bay leaves, rosemary or black or white pepper, whatever seasoning makes your food tasty, buy and use it.
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