28/10/2024
Version 2 of my life story
I became a mature man after my mother passed away in March 2010. At that time, I was with my girlfriend, who later became the mother of my first child. We met in school in 2004, and our relationship began that same year. Complicating things, her older siblings were my close friends, and we all lived in the same dormitory, making it challenging for us to spend time together.
In 2006, while we were both still in school, my girlfriend became pregnant. I was in Grade 10, and she was in Grade 9. Since we lived in the hostel, this was a difficult situation; the school had strict rules that would expel students if pregnancies occurred. To protect us both from expulsion, she lied to the school and hostel management, claiming that I wasn’t the one responsible for her pregnancy. She even involved my cousin, who wasn’t a student, saying he was the owner of her pregnancy. While she was expelled from the hostel, I was able to stay and finish Grade 10.
During her pregnancy, I faced many challenges. Whenever she experienced morning sickness or needed something, it was difficult for me to explain to her siblings what was going on without revealing the truth. My first child, a daughter, was born in 2007, while I was still in Grade 11. My mother took care of her while I was away at school. After my mother’s passing in 2010, I decided it was time to formalize my relationship. I went to my girlfriend's family to request a letter for lobola (bride price).
When I told my father about my plans, he refused to attend, saying he had heard negative things about her and didn't approve. Instead, I asked his siblings to accompany me, and they agreed. We went through the lobola process, and in 2011, I paid for it. My girlfriend and I then moved in together in a small two-roomed mud house. In 2014, we got married, with my father attending the ceremony after his siblings convinced him. He lived with us for a few years but sadly passed away in September 2017.
Our early years were filled with hardship, made more difficult by the fact that my wife and I struggled to conceive a second child. We waited twelve years before our second child was born in 2019. Both of our families, as well as friends and members of our community, often pressured me to try having children with another woman. However, I remained committed to my wife, determined to build our family together.
Our perseverance was rewarded. In 2023, we welcomed our third child, whom we affectionately call Baby Corona because my wife contracted COVID-19 during delivery and nearly lost her life. Today, we are blessed with a stable, comfortable life and a home we can call our own.
I am now working on a book about overcoming relationship and marriage challenges, where I plan to share my full story and the lessons I've learned along the way.