Chidimma Ibe

26/10/2024

My mouth is filled with praises
I don’t want to write epistles today
But I am grateful lord for where I am today and for where I will be tomorrow
Happy birthday to me.
A word of prayer is all I ask my darlings My mouth is filled with praises
I don’t want to write epistles today
But I am grateful lord for where I am today and for where I will be tomorrow
Happy birthday to me.
A word of prayer is all I ask my darlings

11/10/2024

Signs to know that abroad man you're dating that is coming back this Christmas is not dating you

1. He won't let you pick him from the airport. He fit tell you date he's coming back o, but you won't pick him. He'll tell you that he'll reach out when he's "settled".
"Just got back yesterday baby. I've been so busy mehn. This country is somfin else"
Owuya!

2. He buys you bunch of achikota ekwe onu gifts. Gifts without thought. Abroad sweet and chingum, biscuits, deodorant, 1 or 2 dresses which are thrift or from salvation army, etc.
Basically, things he randomly picked from inside his room or the nearest dollar store. E fit reach 10 o, but nothing tangible or meaningful.
If you like, misunderstand this.

3. He fit no buy you even that abroad chingum and just enter ShopRite and pack mgbadume and Sure for you. If any of his gifts were bought in Nigeria, you no even follow for top 10, sis.

4. Na soso hotel and clubs una go dey go. Ọ ga ara gi gwogwo ka pepper soup. But he won't take you home cos of his wicked uncle or his house in the village is not yet completed or cos he doesn't want people to know he's back. He only trusts you baby.
And you'll sing baby sharkidududu. Okpo🙄

5. Don't feel special cos he introduced you to his friends and family o. He will introduce you to his nne ochie sef. But he won't officially come to see yours.

6. He will spend hundreds of thousands or even millions on you people's feeding, hanging out, hotel bills, etc but your thanks for coming no fit pass 50k. Patapata 100k.
His excuse "I'm low on cash rainow. So many expenses. Naijiria is so bad daym mahn"
Inasikwa.

7. He will never post you even as he came back. If he does, it will be "guess who I ran into at Awka. Wow this world is small o"
World is small but you never run into Beyoncé.

8. If he ever says the gifts he got for you were stolen or seized at the airport, run. Comot his winter priqué, wear back your paynt and run.

9. If throughout his stay una no discuss anything regarding moving you forward in your business, finances, education or career, na advanced who cup you go o. You no dey date that man.

10. You still won't be the one to take him to the airport when he's leaving. Na for whatsapp he go drop "I got home today babe" for you.

Add more if you know.
Ovundress must be free ✊️

CreditIjeoma Chinonyerem

23/09/2024

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20/09/2024

Dear Parents, after you have paid all the school fees including fees for books for all your children, remove just N10,000 from your account.

Take a walk to the Mallam selling Roasted chicken or fish and order for 2 laps of chicken or one plate of fish.

Tell him to package it in a "TAKEAWAY".

On your way home, buy Hollandia yogurt, or any good yogurt, or any of your favorite soft drinks.

When you get home, Lock your door and
Put on the fan.

Put *"I can't kill myself"* by Timaya or any of your best songs.

Please don't sit on the chair, spread on the floor and make sure you tear that chicken/fish as you listen to the song.

Then step it down with your drink.

One thing you need to know is that, Problem no dey finish for this world.

So no kill yourself trying to solve everything without taking a break to relax and enjoy your life.

Many people ended up in the grave without eating 10% of their sweat.

Look after yourself first before anything else.

A dead person doesn't hustle again.

Shalom!

03/09/2024

Last night around 8:30 pm, I started feeling like chewing gum so I said lemme go to the supermarket few blocks away from my house then I saw this guy and a girl, the don f**k up and was trying to beg his angry girlfriend so I stood😑

Guy: babe abeg hear me out nau, no vex abeg

Babe: make your hand no touch me o! I no believe anything wey you won talk cos I know wetin I see.

Me: no forgive am o! Naso dem sabi lie enh!😑

Guy: sister abeg nau no spoil things for me 🤲(turns to his babe) babe abeg

She hissed and started walking very fast.

Me: yes! Babe dey go, no forgive am o!

Guy: looks at me with anger

Me: still shouting, no forgive am!

He followed her and I went to buy my gum.

Coming out from the supermarket I saw the guy with some guys then I heard, see her there, na she be dat

Me:👇

30/08/2024

Umuada drinking tea at a burial they didn't contribute shi shi 😩😩

12/08/2024

If your father drives any of these trucks including gwongworo, just know that you may likely have siblings you are not yet aware of, especially around Umunede, Oloku in Benin,Sagamu, Ore, Obollo Afor-Otukpa, Mgbidi, Avielle-Uromi, Ugwu Oba, Okigwe/ Lokpanta, 9th Mile, Lafia/ Akwanga and Tipper Garage Gwagwalada.
Na only few of them go escape this.
I just say make I update una fa 🤷🏼‍♀️
Una good morning this morning

06/08/2024

If you are reading this, I love you, and I believe in you. I wish you a day filled with kind people, lots of smiles, and unexpected blessings. Stay safe please.

04/08/2024

Please 🙏🏻 I need help 😭 after grinding pepper and onions I mistakenly touch my state of origin what should i do now
😭😭😭